I want a refund!
Boys, I wanted to perform a public service by giving you a template review that you can use for about half the clubs in this great nation. No need to sweat it out or even visit the club, this review will serve you in almost any geographic location. ;)
Here it is fellas:
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Visited on: Saturday Afternoon
Dancers on Shift: 1-5
***Note: the original author included ratings of 4 stars for the dancers, 4 stars for value and 7 stars for atmosphere, but feel free to juke these stats a bit based upon what other reviewers give you.***
Not impressed. In the [insert city here] area and thought I'd try the [insert nearby region here] clubs. [insert club name here] is one of the better reviewed so I figured I'd try it.
Arrived about 3pm on Saturday, sat down, and ordered a diet coke. Watched the girls dance on stage but as they kept cycling through it became obvious that none of the girls were particularly exciting to look at. Perhaps the private dances are good, but none of the girls inspired me to try. I blew a little cash stage tipping hoping that a real beauty would appear from the dressing room, but no luck.
My sense is that [insert club here] my not be a great day shift club. Physical features of the club were nice and it had the vibe of a club trying to be upscale. Will reserve judgement overall and try in the evening at some point. But, for now, I left without getting a private dance.
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This review really works. It was used recently with an actual club, gents! Glad I could be or service.
But as a paying member of this site, I can only say after reading this review: I want a refund! LOL. If this is all it takes to get my VIP status for free then I should just do that instead!
Here it is fellas:
*****************************************************************************************************************
Visited on: Saturday Afternoon
Dancers on Shift: 1-5
***Note: the original author included ratings of 4 stars for the dancers, 4 stars for value and 7 stars for atmosphere, but feel free to juke these stats a bit based upon what other reviewers give you.***
Not impressed. In the [insert city here] area and thought I'd try the [insert nearby region here] clubs. [insert club name here] is one of the better reviewed so I figured I'd try it.
Arrived about 3pm on Saturday, sat down, and ordered a diet coke. Watched the girls dance on stage but as they kept cycling through it became obvious that none of the girls were particularly exciting to look at. Perhaps the private dances are good, but none of the girls inspired me to try. I blew a little cash stage tipping hoping that a real beauty would appear from the dressing room, but no luck.
My sense is that [insert club here] my not be a great day shift club. Physical features of the club were nice and it had the vibe of a club trying to be upscale. Will reserve judgement overall and try in the evening at some point. But, for now, I left without getting a private dance.
*****************************************************************************************************************
This review really works. It was used recently with an actual club, gents! Glad I could be or service.
But as a paying member of this site, I can only say after reading this review: I want a refund! LOL. If this is all it takes to get my VIP status for free then I should just do that instead!
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20 comments
Joe: Wow dude, I thought that this was rather funny. And he's right, we could just insert specific locations and names in and use as needed. Why such a harsh reaction?
But I somehow suspect that Defense was trolling someone in particular with this. He doesn't strike me as the type to really give a shit about review standards or pretty much anything else. LOL.
Bad creative writing? Just sheer laziness? A $5 investment in a diet coke for just enough material for a drive by review?
YOU be the judge. ;)
And, unlike some folks here (** cough ** txtittyfag ** cough **) I don't consider reviews an appropriate venue for creative writing. It seems that the members here are better served by an accurate representation of events. However, I can see how a troll with no reading comprehension and 0 reviews might not understand that.
Perhaps you can post a review and show me how to write a really good one!
If you're gonna cross brains with me boy you better find some friends to help. 'Cos you've brought a nail file to a gunfight.
zipman68 posted: "It seems that the members here are better served by an accurate representation of events."
Don't set the bar so high for yourself zip. After reading that drivel we'd settle for ANY representation of events. LMAO.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQaavQNGsMY
You be a coo-el dude, and we coo-el dudes have to stick together.
How do we know you're not just Juice fucking with all of us. Or maybe you're Dougsta. Yep, that's the ticket. Or maybe you're just a sad little troll that doesn't read basic English that well... Run along now BOY. The grownups are talking.
A little while ago you were making creepy offers to share your vast insights into the art of trolling and now you just want me to go away? I'm hurt too now. ;)
Looks like I touched a nerve.....TDHQ wins again!... ***Boooom !***
I just got the piece of evidence I wanted.
Does anybody recognize the last statement in TDHQ's post? Yep... TDHQ is our bud juice trolling away! I knew that he'd slip if I pushed him enough.
But I can't stay mad at you Juice. You're an asshole but you give me the LOLZ! That has gotta be worth somethin'.
Oh well, that was a worthwhile to waste an evening. Humiliated Txtittyfag...check! Showed that TDHQ is actually Juice...check!
Good evening to all!
Fellas?
Really?
OP - In case you weren't aware there are a handfule of us women reading & posting here, so please be cognizant of that when addressing folks in your posts. Thank you. That is all.
@zippy: I'm juice, right. Roger that and great logic there. I came here to abuse myself and burn my most ardent fan and defender (that would be you in case you're confused). Ok then. ;)