I want a refund!

Boys, I wanted to perform a public service by giving you a template review that you can use for about half the clubs in this great nation. No need to sweat it out or even visit the club, this review will serve you in almost any geographic location. ;)

Here it is fellas:

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Visited on: Saturday Afternoon
Dancers on Shift: 1-5

***Note: the original author included ratings of 4 stars for the dancers, 4 stars for value and 7 stars for atmosphere, but feel free to juke these stats a bit based upon what other reviewers give you.***

Not impressed. In the [insert city here] area and thought I'd try the [insert nearby region here] clubs. [insert club name here] is one of the better reviewed so I figured I'd try it.

Arrived about 3pm on Saturday, sat down, and ordered a diet coke. Watched the girls dance on stage but as they kept cycling through it became obvious that none of the girls were particularly exciting to look at. Perhaps the private dances are good, but none of the girls inspired me to try. I blew a little cash stage tipping hoping that a real beauty would appear from the dressing room, but no luck.

My sense is that [insert club here] my not be a great day shift club. Physical features of the club were nice and it had the vibe of a club trying to be upscale. Will reserve judgement overall and try in the evening at some point. But, for now, I left without getting a private dance.
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This review really works. It was used recently with an actual club, gents! Glad I could be or service.

But as a paying member of this site, I can only say after reading this review: I want a refund! LOL. If this is all it takes to get my VIP status for free then I should just do that instead!