Kind of an offshoot of the celebrity strippers/evolution of porn threads, and I hate to say it, but this applies mostly to married guys. OK, to happily married guys. We young and single guys can play, but it's more theoretical. Who whould be "worth it" to the point that even if you knew that it'd end your marriage, you'd still go ahead. I'm guessing this'd be a celebrity rather than a stripper, but feel free to post whoever it is. If you don't want to go that far, pretend you had one lifelong free pass from your SO. One time you were allowed to stray. If we assume the perfect world where the opportunity presented itself, who would you use it on.
I have given this question a fair amount of thought, because it is an appropriate one, and goes to the reason a lot of married men go to sc's.
I suppose it comes down to having erotic interests that cannot be satisfied by a monogamous relationship, but do not rise, or descend to the level of out-and-out adultery (generally). I like interacting with a variety of naked women, and this is, by definition, impossible in the context of monogamy. Some marriage counselors suggest role-playing to help satisfy this need/desire within the context of monogamy ("Tonight I'm a sex-starved Arabian princess, and you're Lawrence of Arabia!!"). This is, in word, goofy.
I also enjoy the naked bodies of _young_women (not to the exclusion of Mrs. Chitown's naked body, which is still pretty good in early middle age). Obviously, it is impossible to continue to experience young naked women within the context of a monogamous relationship that lasts more than five or ten years (depending on how old she is when you start out). For this reason, a few of my colleagues do "trade in/up" to a newer model every 5-10-15 years.)
I have a hard time grasping being happily married and spending time at strip clubs without your wife's knowledge. I understand the "because I don't want to lose half in a divorce" reason. Is it about independence, not having marriage dictate your lifestyle, or something else?
Fair point, but celebrities get a lot of moral credit, inflated morality if you like, for ... nothing. Princess Dianna, before dying in a car crash with her playboy boyfriend while fleeing from the paparazi with their drunk driver had taken a stupendous moral stand against children being maimed by landmines. Very brave of her to take on the pro-child-maiming landmine lobby between stints sunbathing topless in Monaco and skiing in Switzerland. Perhaps I made my point crudely, if so I apologize.
Ok, quick review. AIDS is very hard to catch. I know that isn't PC to say, but it is true. You pretty much have to try, unless you are totally unaware of the method of transmision and take virtually no precautions. Still many feel that treating AIDS patients is the height of saintliness. Be a saint in the eyes of the world, screw Angelina Jolie, be a saint, screw Angelina Jolie...
Chandler, ... Sigh, yes, it'll be my cross to bear. I'll screw her in the Sudan, in Malaysia, in Myanmar, in Pakistan, wherever I have to to make this a better world. (For me)
Tiffany, you're right, marriage doesn't change who I am. And I'd say strip clubs are only an outlet for traits I've had all along. I managed to screw up my married bliss without the help of strippers, before I'd ever set foot in a club. More recently, I've given up strip clubs for relationships for as long as two years without missing them - until a breakup, and then I was back. I may never find out how long I can behave, because something else always renders the question moot. Call me foolish. I believe in the possibility of putting all this yo-yo-ing behind me for somebody. Of course, she'll have to be a freak.
AN, it's gracious of you to let go of your expectations for this thread. I never planned a hijack, honest. It "just happened".
Lots of interesting discussion guys. Chandler, thanks for the intervention, I feel so much better now. I have to say however that in my limited experience the big problem "we" ran into was expectations. I expected my life to change in certain ways, and that our relationship would necessarily evolve to some extent. She didn't, but as a mitigating circumstance she may have thought after a few years "this is not the guy I fell in love with". Then again, she wasn't the same either. Obviously I haven't figured it out, but I understood that there were times I looked at her and thought "this is it?", but that it was normal for someone you spent so much time with. I think I know what Chitown is saying, to be belatedly brief.
I appreciate your kind words, my friend, but don't break your arm patting my on the back. In my case, it helps to have 1. a career in which my time is largely my own.
2. a wife who has positively no interest in the financial affairs of the household. 3. a wife who keeps me on a fairly long leash. I guess the only credit I get in the whole thing is that I've never been tempted to think how things might be if I chucked the whole thing overboard and went for a stripper for a time period of longer than a couple of hours. I know it can be done...by this time, all the regulars have heard about the fellow lawyer from my town who, at the age of 48, met and married a 23 year old stripper, which involved divorcing his (second, but long term second) wife, and royally pissing off his high school age daughter. He was also forced out of the firm he had been with for almost 25 years. But he never missed a beat, and is doing great, eight years later.
I don't think I have the panache to pull that off, and I have not yet met a stripper who has tempted me in that direction.
In addition, I've screwed up on my "freedom thing" a couple of times, but circumstances have always conspired to my advantage. As my grandfather, who was one of each, used to say, "God looks out for drunks and the Irish."
Chitown - My man, you couldn't have put that better. Very, very well said.
Chandler - if you're a stripper fan, which is somewhat evident from your participation here, i wouldn't kid yourself into believing that you're gonna give up all this fun for marriage. At least not forever. If so, you'd be the first.
Sure, you'll behave at first, maybe even for several years, but eventually you'll give in to what you love to do. What you loved to do before you met this future chick.
Marriage gives you responsibilities to another, but it doesn't change who you are. And it definitely can't take away what you hunger for. If you love football, marriage won't change that. If you love strippers, marriage won't change that either.
You can either find a way to satisfy your needs within a marriage, or without. But your needs always must be satisfied.
Chitown, some people are better at setting boundaries they can stay within, and better at staying there once they set them. I'm neither. I feel the need for a short leash, because I know I'll stray without one. And yet I still find a way to mess it up. I've compounded it with my predilection for women whose waywardness puts my own to shame. I can't imagine concealing a strip club habit in the midst of all that. I'm sure that's material for much hilarity. My hat's off to you, Chitown, for holding it all together so well.
I completely agree with Chitown on this one. All I can say to you young single guys is that when you've been married for a long time it isn't going to be anything like what you think it's going to be. I'm not saying it'll be better or worse, just a whole lot different than your expectations. Then maybe you'll understand what Chitown is talking about.
I remember a thread a long time ago on Stripperweb where all these twenty-something singles, both girls and guys, were talking about strip clubs and married men, and what they would and wouldn't do when they were married. It was hilarious.
In fairness to Mrs. Chitown, with a different wife, I might be in strip clubs sooner, and at a greater frequency.
As you and I have discussed, my patronage of strip clubs is a factor in the happiness of my marriage. I made this point on another thread about six months ago, and some people thought I was joking. But it is true that the prospect of a stress-free hour or six in a sc, with naked goodlooking young girls and adult beverages, helps me get through some of the rougher patches of connubial bliss. (You could probably hold the adult beverages and get the same result). I am not a big sports fan, and my past swings at various hobbies have been developed and then faded into my past (although occasionally I will pull out the stamp album, or revisit the geneological archives). Like too many lawyers and small businessmen,, I really don't have a lot of interests outside of my practice. So occasional (between monthly and every-six-weeks) sc visits provide a welcome diversion and reward. They also have some role--not the entire role, but some role--in keeping my out of divorce court. (Not to attack in any way people who have been divorced. I know that sometimes it's the only way to stanch pretty extensive wounds of all kinds. But people like myself, who have never been through it, tend to see it as something to be avoided, if only because of the major factor that inertia is in most peoples' lives).
I've said it before, I'll say it again: Strip clubs: they don't cost--they pay!
Chandler, I am about as happily married as I can see myself, and yet I go to strip clubs....why the condundrum? I think it is because, although the Oprah Winfrey live audience will make a collective moan of disgust when I say this, men need variety. Not necessarily variety in who they have sex with, but variety in whom they interact with in a libidinous way. Strip clubs offer me a chance to satisfy this need is a way that is (mostly) harmless to my marriage. So I think I would ultimately end up in a strip club regardless of who my wife was, although it might take longer with a different wife.
I was thinking Angelina Jolie, not sure. Brad Pitt obviously thought so, and he wasn't exactly married to an ugly woman, and wouldn't be a guy who had to "settle".
It just shows where my head's at, but I keep thinking this question is about who you would give up going to strip clubs for. My answer to that would be anybody I was happily married to or committed to. Until then, strip clubs are my wife, and I ain't giving her up for no celeibrity.
There are many couples by allowing their husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend, the relationship gets stronger. I've seen many times they come to stripclubs together and both or one of them actively into tipping actions and geetting lap dances!
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I suppose it comes down to having erotic interests that cannot be satisfied by a monogamous relationship, but do not rise, or descend to the level of out-and-out adultery (generally). I like interacting with a variety of naked women, and this is, by definition, impossible in the context of monogamy. Some marriage counselors suggest role-playing to help satisfy this need/desire within the context of monogamy ("Tonight I'm a sex-starved Arabian princess, and you're Lawrence of Arabia!!"). This is, in word, goofy.
I also enjoy the naked bodies of _young_women (not to the exclusion of Mrs. Chitown's naked body, which is still pretty good in early middle age). Obviously, it is impossible to continue to experience young naked women within the context of a monogamous relationship that lasts more than five or ten years (depending on how old she is when you start out). For this reason, a few of my colleagues do "trade in/up" to a newer model every 5-10-15 years.)
Choose wisely, Grasshopper.
AN, it's gracious of you to let go of your expectations for this thread. I never planned a hijack, honest. It "just happened".
2. a wife who has positively no interest in the financial affairs of the household. 3. a wife who keeps me on a fairly long leash. I guess the only credit I get in the whole thing is that I've never been tempted to think how things might be if I chucked the whole thing overboard and went for a stripper for a time period of longer than a couple of hours. I know it can be done...by this time, all the regulars have heard about the fellow lawyer from my town who, at the age of 48, met and married a 23 year old stripper, which involved divorcing his (second, but long term second) wife, and royally pissing off his high school age daughter. He was also forced out of the firm he had been with for almost 25 years. But he never missed a beat, and is doing great, eight years later.
I don't think I have the panache to pull that off, and I have not yet met a stripper who has tempted me in that direction.
In addition, I've screwed up on my "freedom thing" a couple of times, but circumstances have always conspired to my advantage. As my grandfather, who was one of each, used to say, "God looks out for drunks and the Irish."
Chandler - if you're a stripper fan, which is somewhat evident from your participation here, i wouldn't kid yourself into believing that you're gonna give up all this fun for marriage. At least not forever. If so, you'd be the first.
Sure, you'll behave at first, maybe even for several years, but eventually you'll give in to what you love to do. What you loved to do before you met this future chick.
Marriage gives you responsibilities to another, but it doesn't change who you are. And it definitely can't take away what you hunger for. If you love football, marriage won't change that. If you love strippers, marriage won't change that either.
You can either find a way to satisfy your needs within a marriage, or without. But your needs always must be satisfied.
I remember a thread a long time ago on Stripperweb where all these twenty-something singles, both girls and guys, were talking about strip clubs and married men, and what they would and wouldn't do when they were married. It was hilarious.
As you and I have discussed, my patronage of strip clubs is a factor in the happiness of my marriage. I made this point on another thread about six months ago, and some people thought I was joking. But it is true that the prospect of a stress-free hour or six in a sc, with naked goodlooking young girls and adult beverages, helps me get through some of the rougher patches of connubial bliss. (You could probably hold the adult beverages and get the same result). I am not a big sports fan, and my past swings at various hobbies have been developed and then faded into my past (although occasionally I will pull out the stamp album, or revisit the geneological archives). Like too many lawyers and small businessmen,, I really don't have a lot of interests outside of my practice. So occasional (between monthly and every-six-weeks) sc visits provide a welcome diversion and reward. They also have some role--not the entire role, but some role--in keeping my out of divorce court. (Not to attack in any way people who have been divorced. I know that sometimes it's the only way to stanch pretty extensive wounds of all kinds. But people like myself, who have never been through it, tend to see it as something to be avoided, if only because of the major factor that inertia is in most peoples' lives).
I've said it before, I'll say it again: Strip clubs: they don't cost--they pay!
It's better than me f**cking my secretary.