Chandler, by the way, heard back from a friend in Ann Arbor. Apparently our strip club trip was to Niagra falls in 1994!! I visited him in Ann Arbor in 1998 (about the time he went there for a post doc and to live with his fiance) and we drove to Windsor, but he swears we didn't do stripclubs on that trip (probably because his wife reads the e-mail, I still swear we did a stripclub in Windsor, but then I had totally forgotten about the Falls trip in '94, a few years before my "discovery" of stripclubs). He and I have a lot of hazy memories together... sometimes we can even remember the good times, not just that we had them.
Seductions has a massage parlor attached. I don't think the dancers work there, but they do extras in the champagne room. "Extras" is kind of a misnomer, because it's their bread 'n' butter at Seductions.
Somewhere I remember reading about a club in Niagara Falls that had a massage parolor attached, maybe with the same girls? Plus Canadian prices. Sounds like heaven to me.
People are friendly. No one is stressed out. The strippers are almost always 8-10s, mileage is hands on, and the US dollar goes a long way. You also can hit excellent FS clubs a short drive out of the city.
But this says it all - I got my dick sucked in the hotel elevator by a hottie Montreal chick just for being an American. God Bless Canada.
I'll go if it's Toronto or Montreal. Maybe Niagra Falls, but I think the bigger cities would be better for regular night club entertainment. Montreal is rumored to be the tops for that.
I think we should go to Canada, Niagra Falls specifically. See if we could create an international incident. It's election time up there and they love to bash Americans around election time.
Saturday, I read each posting on the subject of the SC trip. I was really entertained, many of you know each other's preferences so well. It was really heart warming to read your exchanges. Count me out though, as I'm a stripper in San Diego, CA.-T
Let's do Memphis. Great clubs! Tuica is only 20 minutes to the south for anyone who wants to go to the casinos. Great golf, Beale street, good food.... who is in?
Shadowcat, I was actually pushing Memphis because an old high school friend of mine just started 45-50 months at FCI Memphis. I am still planning to go visit him in the Spring, probably April, and will combine that with a trip to PP.
We can discuss the similarities of strip clubs and federal minimum security penitentiaries at some point. All the same, I don't think I will tell my friend where I spent the Friday night before the Saturday prison visit. It just seems too cruel.
I will foreclose the most obvious lines by pointing out that I did not represent this friend at trial. (Actually, he pled guilty, but was represented by someone who would know what to do with respect to a criminal charge...unlike me).
AN, I agree, I'm not a fan of Vegas either. Never had a good time in any of the strip clubs I visited there - way too much hustle for my taste.
Shadowcat, I'm sorry to say that I can't read the reviews at the moment, I haven't written one lately. It's been several months since I've been to a club and I only write reviews when I've visited a club recently. Maybe I should write a couple from memory. Anyway I would rate Brad's higher than Playhouse Lounge, but then I'd rather spend $50 for a half hour high contact VIP with a cute young party girl than spend $30 per song including extras from an older NJ beauty or South American woman who's been around the block a few too many times. But that's just me. Yoda would probably love Playhouse Lounge.
I've only been to Las Vegas for work involving trade shows. I stay as briefly as possible. I don't care for casinos or theme parks. I've never tried a strip club there, and nothing I've heard about them makes me want to.
AN: I imagined it before you said it was a legal matter, just that you couldn't return. I didn't think it through very well. Isn't shooting a man just to watch him die considered a hate crime, ergo a federal crime?
In all seriousness, and I'm sure this will provoke howls of outrage, I think Vegas sucks. It is way too expensive and over-rated. A friend had his bachelor party there. By the time you factored in the flight, the stripper bus that picked us all up at the airport, rooms, the strippers, the tickets to the fight, the strippers, the golf outing, the strippers and the limo back to the airport we dropped $1200 for the weekend before we even arived. That doesn't count tipping for the strippers we hired, the strip club visit or gambling if you were so disposed. Now I think the best man did a great job organizing, but I think this is out of hand when you need to pony up the equivalent of a weeks pay to help your buddy celebrate. It was sort of fun, but way too hectic and busy. What happened to porno movies, beer and poker at the local K oc C? The next year when the Best man was getting married his bachelor party was in Amsterdam. I skipped that one.
Card counting isn't illegal as long as you do it in your head. The casinos are all private property so you can be thrown out for any reason they want, or no reason at all, and they consider card counting (i.e. winning too much) sufficient reason to bounce you.
Chitown, I'm assuming that we're talking about a fictitious trip here. I for one could never get away for such a thing no matter where it was, unless it was in my backyard and during the day. But it's fun to talk about. Maybe some of you guys will actually do it.
There has to be a killer comeback you're setting me up for, AN, but for the life of me, I've got nothing. I do however, have lesbian next door neighbors. They have a bumper sticker that says 'Diversity' over a rainbow. I catsit for them when they leave town sometimes, wherever it is they go. They have a boy cat and a girl cat. They keep them in separate rooms. They are very well behaved cats. So, I'm all in favor of same-sex couples adopting children. And it's good my neighbors are domestic and not "hot" lesbians, or they'd always want to go to strip clubs with me where they'd hog all my favorite strippers. (There, either I'm "in touch" now, or lopaw considers me a lost cause.)
Wow.
chandler, you do us proud.
You're obviously a fine neighbor, catsitter, and a damn fine "he-lesbian" ta boot.
We all salute you (OK ladies.....raise your shirts!)
Chandler, if this trip comes off if nothing else I owe you a lapdance just for helping me to enjoy the board. Just a warning however, I'm low mileage and look awful in a T-back. Oh, wait, I could just buy you one...
Is the Super 8 in Collinsville still there? There used to be three hotels right off of I-55/70 that were torn down in October to make way for a retail mall. One was a Howard Johnson's, and there were two more to the north of it, the names of which excape me right now.
I only know this because I am representing the (now torn down) Howard Johnson's in a lawsuit involving an alleged assault on a hotel maid there. We had to rush in and get photos before they tore the place down.
Some of the staff who used to work at the HoJo's now work at the ES-Collinsville, and they have told me that a lot of dancers who come into town on the weekends stay at that hotel.
Yoda, JC, I think you guys need to join me. Chandler pointed out a new direction for me that consists of "who?". I must confess I've enjoyed the board a lot more lately.
Chitown: It may well have been torn down and I wouldn't know it. The last time I was in the area was early October, and I haven't been down that motel strip in over a year. I'm not sure whether the Super 8 was near the HoJo's, which I've never been in. I swear.
Chitown: I didn't realize there was also an Extended Stay America in Collinsville. I'm hesitant to try it given how rotten my first experience was with them. I used to always stay at the Super 8 in Collinsville until they hiked up their rates and did away with their discount cards. The first time I tried Priceline a few years ago, I got two nights for $60 total at the better hotel next door (Fairmont Inn?).
I don't mind the few extra miles to Fairview Hts., since I only drive it once or twice per day I'm there, living in the clubs as I do. Next time, I know how I can force Priceline to try my bid at Sheraton Four-Points first, but if that doesn't fly, I'll bid for Collinsville.
Chandler, you should try the ESA in Collinsville. You could probably get the same deal as at Fairview Hts, and it is closer to the ESL clubs (Exit #9 off of I-55/70).
Davids: Can you post anything without insulting someone else? By the way, hows that new approach of yours working out? Gettin' any yet? Yeah, I kiss stripper ass all the time, as well as other interesting parts of their anatomy.
"$10 for 10-15 minutes is going to work out to $40-60/hr. Do you get discounts for buying conversation in bulk?"
Do you see any insults in it?
Don't know what this new approach you are talking about is. I like your new approach here: Once you see you can't beat me in a debate or an insult match, try the "can't we all just get along" approach. Wimp.
I beg your pardon, FONDL, but Chitown is more about jonesing for Latinas or various Mediterranean persuasions. You'll have to share the youngsters with me, and only after I have left them feeling used and ashamed. After their tour of the Dark Side, cuddling and commiseration from a dirty old man called FONDL should make them feel better.
I don't envision us hanging out together. I see it more as Shadowcat assigning us each a girl (he knows what we all like at this point, although Chitown and I may have to take turns with the cute little 20 yo, but that's OK, at my age I need plenty of rest) and us each going our separate ways for the evening.
Then recovening for de-briefing...that's where the Waffle House meatloaf comes in. Extra points if some of the dancers from the club come into the Waffle House. Even more points if they join us.
If this thing comes off, it should be set out long enough that cheap flights are in play..but I'd drive to Memphis.
While I'll admit to a certain curiosity and a desire to put faces to names if you guys think the goal of this trip is to hang out with you we gotta talk. In all seriousness I agree that it would be fun to hold this forum at The Waffel House at 3am and to meet some of you guys, but the main attraction is a 2-day strip club bender at a top 40 club. I'd also be interested in how the dancers and a club handle a convention like ours.
Re Extended Stay America: When I've visited East St. Louis clubs lately, I've gotten great prices from priceline.com on a new Sheraton Four-Points hotel nearby. The last time I went, in October, I went online and bid $35, which I've found to be the lowest they go (for a $100+ room).
This time, however, they gave me a room at Extended Stay America instead. There were problems. The hotel was new - about a year old - but it already looked rundown, like it's not being maintained or even cleaned well. My room reeked, as though previous tenants had actually used all the kitchen stuff and never run the exhaust. I forgot to pack bath soap, and the hotel soap was some disgusting oatmeal and almond bar that smelled like a hippie puked it up, so I had to run to Walgreen's. As I was trying to sleep, the refrigerator began running, and it sounded like a helicopter taking off. In the morning, as I was getting out of the shower, the front desk called and asked why the hell I hadn't checked out yet at 11:05. I told her I had asked the woman at the desk when I checked in whether I could stay and extra hour, and she had said it was cool and that she would leave a note for the morning desk clerk.
I mean, it's just a bed and a bathroom to me, and for $35 (+ ~$10 fees/taxes) I'll put up with it, but I hope the Columbia ESA is better than the Fairview Heights, Illinois ESA. And if there's a Sheraton Four-Points near whatever club you're going to, see if you can get it cheap on Priceline.
AN....no operation for you. You must continue to explore your inner lesbian, though. Let her out as much as possible, and make all of us lesbians proud, dammit!!!
Chitown: Gee, I feel like Abe Lincoln. Except for the part about being dead.
I'm with you about the group SC thing. I'm so used to being the lone wolf, whenever I meet up with a friend at a club I'm afraid the whole night is going to fly by without my knowing it. As little as we socialized at Brad's, I was shocked when I realized I'd been there five hours and only had what seemed like half that time's worth of pussy. So that's the excuse I also use for not being very interesting to hang with in strip clubs.
Why not make it Memphis, and see if Elvis will be in the house showing us how to get $5 LD's, $10 HJ's, perpetual 2 for 1 specials, AND how to get strippers REAL NAME, PHONE#, and FREE CONVERSATION, OTC. Seriously, I'm like CTL & Yoda, SC's are solitary for me, won't travel hundreds of miles to regale, or be regaled on aforementioned subjects.
I belive there is a Waffle House within eyeshot of at least half of the sc's in the US. It has to do with the fact that the downtown areas have been "cleaned up", the new exurbs/suburbs zone so they never get to those areas, leaving sites in industrial areas near interstates for the sc's. THus, proximity to Waffle Houses.
My only caveat would be that my main purpose in going to sc's is to get VIPs. I like the extended sets you can get from dancers at Favorite Club, and similar places. Therefore, as Chandler may able to vouch, I am not the most interesting person to spend time at a sc with. We could have a great time before going to the club getting tips from Shadowcat, (or whoever the host is) as to the most promising dancers, or after closing, over meatloaf at the Waffle House (comparing notes), or even between VIPs, discussing the last one, and setting up the next one. But my time in the club itself is largely a fairly solitary experience (excepting of course, the dancer of the moment), perhaps akin to Yoda's. I guess because of the nature of my sc experience..mostly forays done on business trips...I have never really gotten into sc's as a group experience. But I am always up for something new.
By the way, Chandler, check your e-mail. History has vindicated you.
I wouldn't mind meeting some of you guys but flying across the country sounds to expensive for me. I also promised myself that I was going to back away from the SC scene next year. If it was some where like Shadowcat's club in or in central Florida I might give it a thought.
I vote we meet at Shadowcat's favorite club. Sounds like he has enough friends there to keep us all happy. Plus he seems to have connections at a really cheap nearby motel - maybe we can get a group rate. And I guess since Shadowcat is the host, the dress code will be running shorts and T-shirt, no underwear. Except for Chitown, of course. Someone has to hold up our image.
Lopaw, after reading all those brochures you gave me I thought about converting to lesbianism (I mean the graphics were great), but the operation seemed a bit much.
More good news: Just got off the phone with parodyman--> and he is a confirmed speaker. He will be giving a 20 minutes talk on of the subject of "fuck, shit, piss, tits, ass, blood, guts, sweat, snot and cunt."
How about a some guest speakers before we hit the clubs. I propose:
FONDL: Why Nice Guy Think They Finish First in Strip Clubs
AN: Strawman Construction and Knockdown 101. Plus a sepcial bonus surprise topic rumored to either be Intermediate Revisionist History or How to pickup Lesbains on the Internet
Shadowcat: Maximizing your Mileage Before your other Foot is in the Grave
Yoda: Advanced Kissing of a Stripper's Ass: Revealing The Master's Secret Weapon
JC: How I Learned to Let Go + Why Old People Must Ethically Pass up on Dating Young Strippers
RL: Why spend more than $5 on a lapdance? + Why a stripper who does tell you HER NAME and PHONE NUMBER and spend time with you OUTSIDE THE CLUB FOR FREE is not really YOUR FRIEND
shadowcat: I was even thinking about stopping by tonight but changed my mind at the last moment. I may still show up in Columbia instead of Greenville if the power is out in the Greenville clubs due to icestorms (over 200,000 still don't have power in the upstate).
I doubt it'll ever happen, but if it did I'd suggest a smaller town/club where we'd make an impact rather than just be another "convention" in Vegas. Besides, I can't go back to Vegas till the statute of limitations... I mean uh, I don't like Vegas that much.
My only concern would be that the Philly area can be a bear to get around in. Central location isn't such a big deal anymore, although Memphis does have that going for it. However, I think that the main thing Memphis has going for it is that it is easier for out of towners to get around in.
Chandler, I assume that almost everyone is mostly joking around most of the time here, I know I usually am. There are a couple of exceptions of course, but I don't read their posts.
We could try the #1 club in the US, which isn't far from me. I just read on another site where someone said it has the highest mileage of any club in the US, and he seemed to be familiar with a lot of other high-mileage places. And it has lots of older South American ladies to keep Yoda happy. Anyone else ever been to Playhouse Lounge? I didn't much care for it but maybe I didn't give it a fair chance. Maybe a little more research is needed.
FONDL, I was just joking around. I didn't mean to imply that cute 20 year-olds and latinas are mutually exclusive, which they obviously aren't. I also may have been too much under the spell of the cute 19-22 year-old blondes I had fun with Friday night, who wouldn't be Chitown's type.
Chandler, I have no objection to Latinas as long as they meet my other criteria (young, small, cute, big smile, friendly, playful, able to hold a conversation.) One of the greatest times I've ever had in a strip club was with a little Puerto Rican Girl who was about 20. If she hadn't been heading back to PR the next week for an extended visit I probably would have become her regular. She was dynamite. Chitown would have loved her.
Do Waffle Houses (I always call them Awful Houses) really have meatloaf? I've always just gotten ham and eggs. Gotta love that southern ham and it's hard to screw up 2 eggs.
Sounds like we've sort of decided on Shadowcat and Shekitout's favorite club by default. I'm still skeptical, but it is fun to plan. As long as we don't go to Nevada I'm cool.
84 comments
Thanks for the info. Would recommend any clubs in Montreal or nearby. Appreciate it.
But this says it all - I got my dick sucked in the hotel elevator by a hottie Montreal chick just for being an American. God Bless Canada.
Why Montreal if heaven? Is it quite liberal out there?
Also I just wanted to bump this one.
We can discuss the similarities of strip clubs and federal minimum security penitentiaries at some point. All the same, I don't think I will tell my friend where I spent the Friday night before the Saturday prison visit. It just seems too cruel.
I will foreclose the most obvious lines by pointing out that I did not represent this friend at trial. (Actually, he pled guilty, but was represented by someone who would know what to do with respect to a criminal charge...unlike me).
Shadowcat, I'm sorry to say that I can't read the reviews at the moment, I haven't written one lately. It's been several months since I've been to a club and I only write reviews when I've visited a club recently. Maybe I should write a couple from memory. Anyway I would rate Brad's higher than Playhouse Lounge, but then I'd rather spend $50 for a half hour high contact VIP with a cute young party girl than spend $30 per song including extras from an older NJ beauty or South American woman who's been around the block a few too many times. But that's just me. Yoda would probably love Playhouse Lounge.
(Thank god someone finally asked so I could get that out of my system)
I'm just not crazy about the Vegas clubs. Never actually been to Reno. Tahoe was nice.
Oh, well, back to fantasy. Just as long as my fantasy is on the blogs, and not in the strip clubs.
chandler, you do us proud.
You're obviously a fine neighbor, catsitter, and a damn fine "he-lesbian" ta boot.
We all salute you (OK ladies.....raise your shirts!)
Gotta watch him, lopaw. He's from Pennsylvania, you know.
I only know this because I am representing the (now torn down) Howard Johnson's in a lawsuit involving an alleged assault on a hotel maid there. We had to rush in and get photos before they tore the place down.
Some of the staff who used to work at the HoJo's now work at the ES-Collinsville, and they have told me that a lot of dancers who come into town on the weekends stay at that hotel.
I don't mind the few extra miles to Fairview Hts., since I only drive it once or twice per day I'm there, living in the clubs as I do. Next time, I know how I can force Priceline to try my bid at Sheraton Four-Points first, but if that doesn't fly, I'll bid for Collinsville.
"$10 for 10-15 minutes is going to work out to $40-60/hr. Do you get discounts for buying conversation in bulk?"
Do you see any insults in it?
Don't know what this new approach you are talking about is. I like your new approach here: Once you see you can't beat me in a debate or an insult match, try the "can't we all just get along" approach. Wimp.
Make shadowcat the point man for negotiating group rates for discount lap dances and extras and CONVERSATION in advance.
If this thing comes off, it should be set out long enough that cheap flights are in play..but I'd drive to Memphis.
This time, however, they gave me a room at Extended Stay America instead. There were problems. The hotel was new - about a year old - but it already looked rundown, like it's not being maintained or even cleaned well. My room reeked, as though previous tenants had actually used all the kitchen stuff and never run the exhaust. I forgot to pack bath soap, and the hotel soap was some disgusting oatmeal and almond bar that smelled like a hippie puked it up, so I had to run to Walgreen's. As I was trying to sleep, the refrigerator began running, and it sounded like a helicopter taking off. In the morning, as I was getting out of the shower, the front desk called and asked why the hell I hadn't checked out yet at 11:05. I told her I had asked the woman at the desk when I checked in whether I could stay and extra hour, and she had said it was cool and that she would leave a note for the morning desk clerk.
I mean, it's just a bed and a bathroom to me, and for $35 (+ ~$10 fees/taxes) I'll put up with it, but I hope the Columbia ESA is better than the Fairview Heights, Illinois ESA. And if there's a Sheraton Four-Points near whatever club you're going to, see if you can get it cheap on Priceline.
I'm with you about the group SC thing. I'm so used to being the lone wolf, whenever I meet up with a friend at a club I'm afraid the whole night is going to fly by without my knowing it. As little as we socialized at Brad's, I was shocked when I realized I'd been there five hours and only had what seemed like half that time's worth of pussy. So that's the excuse I also use for not being very interesting to hang with in strip clubs.
Ok, guys, having fun sharing the old man's sloppy seconds.
By the way, Chandler, check your e-mail. History has vindicated you.
And enter the appropriate pleas at the post-trip arraignment.
http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.…
"Two by two."
Well if you're going to try two at a time make sure to lift with your legs.
Two by two.
Damn, does that mean I have to build an ark just to pick up lesbians?
FONDL: Why Nice Guy Think They Finish First in Strip Clubs
AN: Strawman Construction and Knockdown 101. Plus a sepcial bonus surprise topic rumored to either be Intermediate Revisionist History or How to pickup Lesbains on the Internet
Shadowcat: Maximizing your Mileage Before your other Foot is in the Grave
Yoda: Advanced Kissing of a Stripper's Ass: Revealing The Master's Secret Weapon
JC: How I Learned to Let Go + Why Old People Must Ethically Pass up on Dating Young Strippers
RL: Why spend more than $5 on a lapdance? + Why a stripper who does tell you HER NAME and PHONE NUMBER and spend time with you OUTSIDE THE CLUB FOR FREE is not really YOUR FRIEND
This could be fun.
Or I could be totally fucked up.
We could try the #1 club in the US, which isn't far from me. I just read on another site where someone said it has the highest mileage of any club in the US, and he seemed to be familiar with a lot of other high-mileage places. And it has lots of older South American ladies to keep Yoda happy. Anyone else ever been to Playhouse Lounge? I didn't much care for it but maybe I didn't give it a fair chance. Maybe a little more research is needed.
Do Waffle Houses (I always call them Awful Houses) really have meatloaf? I've always just gotten ham and eggs. Gotta love that southern ham and it's hard to screw up 2 eggs.