tuscl

Lousy BJs

rickdugan
Verified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
For me, there are few things that are more irritating than a lousy BJ. This is especially true when the only thing following it is an equally lousy HJ. What a fucking waste.

Imagine my further amazement when, at the end of this 1/2 hour debacle, she actually asks me if I would like her number so that we could arrange a hotel rendezvous.

Unreal.

26 comments

  • Lionshare
    •
    11 years ago
    Yea, its not that hard. Lick it a few times, nibble up and down the side, pay some attention to the balls, if you can deep throat then thays a bonus. Then dont stop until I cum whether I have a condom on or not.

    Oh yea, look up at me with those eyes. Let me pull your hair a little. A little dirty talk is also welcome.

    Is that asking too much?
  • duomaxwell
    •
    11 years ago
    What made it bad? Was it toothy and did she keep looking at her phone and sighing loudly?
  • minnow
    •
    11 years ago
    What a pitiful tale! Dancer had a golden oppurtunity to land a whale, and she "blew it". (Couldn't resist posting this, lol)
  • shadowcat
    •
    11 years ago
    Some dancers just don't understand that "blow" is just an expression.
  • Dougster
    •
    11 years ago
    Looks like you'll need to add an addendum to The System in how to avoid such types, huh, RickyBoy?
  • gawker
    •
    11 years ago
    I remember a wise man telling me that there's no such thing as a bad blowjob. It's just that some are better than others.
  • Alucard
    •
    11 years ago
    "I remember a wise man telling me that there's no such thing as a bad blowjob. It's just that some are better than others."

    Then the wise man has never experienced a really bad BJ. LOL
  • gawker
    •
    11 years ago
    Is the glass half full or half empty? Would you rather have a "bad" BJ or beat yourself off?
  • shadowcat
    •
    11 years ago
    If I have to pay for the bad BJ then I would rather give myself a good HJ.
  • tumblingdice
    •
    11 years ago
    Scat!Thats a bad visual.
  • jester214
    •
    11 years ago
    A good blowjob is hard to find and rarely do they improve simply because who would ever tell a woman she's doing poorly?
  • shadowcat
    •
    11 years ago
    fumblingdick - I didn't know that you wanted to watch.
  • gawker
    •
    11 years ago
    My ATF delivered a wonderful BJ this morning. She and I discussed what constitutes a good blowjob. First, she said she dislikes latex in her mouth. Second, she says that she emphasizes attitude. She wants the man to feel as if he's the center of her world at that moment. Third, she takes her time. She likes to make sure the man is fully erect before the sucking starts. Once she starts nibbling and sucking she prefers to fondle the balls with one hand and the guys ass with the other. She pays particular attention to the area just under the head and then runs her tongue up and down the shaft while holding the dick with her left hand. She handles my average sized dick with a full deepthroat and she swears she can handle a deepthroat of up to nine inches when she's blasted on drugs. For some reason when she's high her gag reflex shuts down. Overall, a wonderful experience.
  • Alucard
    •
    11 years ago
    If you have to pay for a BAD BJ, then a FREE self administered HJ is a better alternative.

    "My ATF delivered a wonderful BJ this morning. She and I discussed what constitutes a good blowjob. First, she said she dislikes latex in her mouth. Second, she says that she emphasizes attitude. She wants the man to feel as if he's the center of her world at that moment. Third, she takes her time. She likes to make sure the man is fully erect before the sucking starts. Once she starts nibbling and sucking she prefers to fondle the balls with one hand and the guys ass with the other. She pays particular attention to the area just under the head and then runs her tongue up and down the shaft while holding the dick with her left hand. She handles my average sized dick with a full deepthroat and she swears she can handle a deepthroat of up to nine inches when she's blasted on drugs. For some reason when she's high her gag reflex shuts down. Overall, a wonderful experience."

    Lucky you Sir. Is the cost inline with the results?
  • jerikson40
    •
    11 years ago
    Yeah, whatever...

    Anyway, Rick, could I ask you a favor please? I know you'll tell me to go fuck myself, but at least I'll give it a shot.

    That photo of the super pale redhead you have in your avatar...is there any way you would consider changing that to something else? Because honestly super pale, jailbait looking redheads like that really make my stomach turn. Seriously. When I see it out of the corner of my eye my stomach gets queasy. And I noticed in your other photos you tend to go for the jailbait-looking girls, which I suppose is fine if that's what floats your boat.

    But maybe ask Papi if you can borrow some photos of some really curvy women with fully developed bodies...

    (and, of course, Rick replies with "go fuck yourself" in 5...4...3...2...)
  • jester214
    •
    11 years ago
    I'm not sure you know what jailbait means.

    Besides Alucard has the monopoly on creepy profile pictures.
  • jerikson40
    •
    11 years ago
    "I'm not sure you know what jailbait means."

    Yeah, probably not. What's your point?
  • sharkhunter
    •
    11 years ago
    Maybe she thought she was supposed to blow. lol

    The only troubling thing about getting a really good bj is that she is probably very experienced.

  • sharkhunter
    •
    11 years ago
    I wouldn't tell someone they were doing terrible unless I wasn't planning on doing anything else with them. If I wanted them to improve I might tell them doing so and so would feel a whole lot better.
  • samsung1
    •
    11 years ago
    I hate it when they use their teeth! I also consider any Cbj a bad bj.
  • jester214
    •
    11 years ago
    CBJ is absolutely worthless. I'd rather have a HJ.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    11 years ago
    BJs are more of an art than a science – some ladies have it – some (many) don’t
  • inno123
    •
    11 years ago
    The most common thing that causes lousy BJ is teeth scraping. The most common misconception that causes teeth scraping is thinking that you have to suck really hard. The second common misconception that causes teeth scraping is thinking that you have to go deep throat to give a good BJ. The third mistake is to think that doing a BJ the way you see it on pornos is the way to give a great BJ. The techniques used on pornos are done because they look good, not because they feel good.

    The simplest, easiest technique to give consistently great BJs is to use a hand to give steady firm strokes to the shaft while using the mouth and tongue to give constant stimulation to the head.
  • rickdugan
    •
    11 years ago
    Well, the fates gave me a kindness by leading me to a much better girl last night. When it is bad, it is very, very bad, but when it is good...

    I think that I may have a new "friend" in the Pasco County area. ;)
  • shadowcat
    •
    11 years ago
    I damned sure don't have the home field advantage on this one.
  • tumblingdice
    •
    11 years ago
    Inno I can read the WSJ when she gives head.If I have to hear one more time"Was it good for you"
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