Anyone else here ever been burnt out on the drama?

avatar for TcVegas
TcVegas
Chances are if someone gets burnt out they don't go to this forum, but I thought I would throw this out there in case some of you have been through the cycle, or as a data point to anyone that reads on and feels the same way I did. The regular places were the rhino and sapphires in vegas where I live.

Been going fairly often for the last 2 years. Had a fav that was a total gf when I was there. Some incredibly awesome nights I will never forget, but also some really ugly nights where we would argue like real bf/gf. It was a total club soap opera and I bet funny to watch for the uninvolved. That's too real of a gf experience for me! Anyway, every bad time has eaten away a bit of the desire for going to any club. Money isn't really an issue and I usually do a vip, so saving money is good but its not the primary driver.

I've been reading this site for about the same amount of time, and did the total dude thing of "hey, that doesn't apply to me, I found a good one" Boy was I wrong. She had been working for about 9 months when I met her, and I think she really was stable then and had a good attitude saying is was something she always wanted to try. She had a female partner, but still liked guys and this was here outlet for that. Seemed perfect to me. Working in a club for years might have done her in. In some ways my story is similar to the guy who wrote that 5 part series here on the site. Not sure if that was real, the writing seemed too good, but it fits my situation.

I suggested we back off to being friends at least for a while. She said OK, but when I went back in and was with a different girl she got totally pissed. I know, big surprise. I'm totally done, maybe permanently.

Any similar experiences?

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avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
12 years ago
“… and did the total dude thing of "hey, that doesn't apply to me, I found a good one" Boy was I wrong …”


Kudos to you for admitting it – now you can move forward – hopefully if she doesn’t have too much of a grip on you or your penis.


“… She had a female partner, but still liked guys …”


To me, *personally*, that is a red flag – most dancers are emotionally unstable as it is – adding a female lover to the equation just raises the instability of the whole thing IMO.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
12 years ago
Well put Dr. Bullwinkle – enjoyed reading your description of these so called “relationships” we sometimes venture into - good job!
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
12 years ago
Pleading the fifth.
avatar for TcVegas
TcVegas
12 years ago
Thanks Bullwinkle, you nailed it in so many ways. Its as much attitude and expectation/entitlement as it is level of service. It gets too routine and they think they deserve it. A lot of the dancers know me there and I've had more than a few sit down and buy me a drink. Loss leader I know and it will end quickly, but the attitude is soooooo much better. They would easily get big return on that small act. But I'm still going to take a long time off. It was a hell of a ride, but I'm drained.
avatar for gawker
gawker
12 years ago
I've been seeing my ATF for four years and she has gotten used to about $1000 a week from me and I've gotten very used to sex with her. Over the last few weeks her drug use escalated and she became more distant. Four days ago she called me, just had to see me, loved me with all her heart. Needed me to come see her, offered to meet me for less money. So I finally agreed, drove 100 miles, and she wouldn't answer the door, wouldn't answer the phone. I left, went to the club and answered 40 questions from dancers who wanted to know why I was there and she wasn't. I sent her a text saying don't call me. I've had it with her shit. Three days later she called like all is normal. Sorry but my bf got home early. I'm so fed up with paying top dollar and being treated like crap, that I'm just going to stay away and save money until I'm so horny that I'm climbing the walls. My burnout is with the attitude of entitlement.
avatar for TcVegas
TcVegas
12 years ago
Papi, I your right about the triangle. Did a 3 way with them twice, partner was not a dancer. The second time the two of them were fighting. Not a good time, cost me a lot for the room, etc. Your probably better off with the sheep ;)
avatar for TcVegas
TcVegas
12 years ago
Gawker, isn't it amazing you can spend that level of cash and you don't come out EVERY time feeling like it was awesome? Look how well you would be treated in a restaurant or other legitimate establishment if you spent that much! Thats more than a mortgage payment for most people. I was spending close to that, but 2-3 visits a month. Bar tab was usually in the $600 range because I like to turn it into a bit of a party.

I also got the questions from all the other dancers when I went back. I live by a certain set of guidelines which include not talking about things like that, so I don't answer any. But thats something I would do in any situation, not specific to this one. The most common questions was "can you tell me what you two did back there?" Not answering that one gets the most mileage by far, both because they wonder about it, and also because they know you won't tell what they do either.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
12 years ago
I think many of us get burnt out on the drama from time to time and consider walking away from the BS at least for a while.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be ATF/fave drama although that may be the worst kind – but just the general bullshit of having to deal with f’ed dancers and the f’ed up people that work in most SCs.

I was at a dive on Sat. night and just walked out after an hour w/o really wanting to leave – but I’d had enough with the BS going on that night and just left (which I rarely do this).

I am contemplating taking a SC hiatus for a while b/c I am currently fed up with the SC SS – and this would also have the added benefit of helping my savings account which needs it!
avatar for tumblingdice
tumblingdice
12 years ago
Rookies!
avatar for stenton1
stenton1
12 years ago
I had an on again, off again ATF for a long while! As others have stated, I got tired of her sense of entitlement, trying to provoke ITC arguments, and intense jealousy if I even looked at other dancers. Anyway, I decided to fire her for good, and I started seeing another dancer who at least for now, doesn't want compensation for her time if we meet up for dinner, drinks, movies, etc. She has treated me a few tines, which is a pleasant change. i know she may be trying to set me up for the future, but at least I'll see it coming based on my interactions with other strippers. I do gladly compensate her for OTC sex, which is awesome.
I wish these strippers would learn that one hand takes care of the other! It's the little things that make me want to be more generous! It's going well, and I'm keeping my emotions out if it!
avatar for TcVegas
TcVegas
12 years ago
This turned out to be an awesome thread, at least for me. One observation from reading all the comments is that it seems like no matter how much you spend it ends up in the same place.
avatar for SlickSpic
SlickSpic
12 years ago
Would anyone suggest the girls on Cityvibe or Eros as an alternative to the girls working the clubs? Lots of xxx stars also advertise their services. Anybody with any experience?
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
12 years ago
“… no matter how much you spend it ends up in the same place …”


Money can’t buy me love – or so it’s been said.

Also, the more $$$ one spends on girl/dancer – wouldn’t that make one look even more like a PL in their eyes and just an ATM machine for them to run-to/use?
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
12 years ago
Stripper drama is a lot more fun than watching day time soap operas on TV. :)
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
12 years ago
I think that any one serious about our expensive hobby is bound to get burned out occasionally. It's to be expected from time to time, and I believe that it is a good thing - it helps you to clear your head and focus on something else for awhile. But we usually return after some time away because once it's in the blood, there's no escaping the pull that eventually drags you back into the clubs....hopefully refreshed with a renewed eagerness.
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