No. This was not me. :)

avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
When I was in college, I lived with four other guys in an apartment complex a few blocks away from the best strip club in town. I was the only one in school, the other three were all out in the working world but we all stayed up odd hours and seemed to end up at the club a couple times a month (I'd gotten a brick of free passes and lifetime membership card halfway through college through some strange circumstances so we never paid a cover).

Anyway, over the months of going I kept running into this stripper. Her stage name was Baby (of course it was) but I came to learn her real name was Anissa. Whenever I come around the club and she is there, she grabs me. I end up spending a hundo-plus most nights she's there but it's far less than the actual number of lap dances. There was some kissing and making out over that time but nothing I wouldn't expect any other stripper to do for the almighty dollar.

So one night, me and the four amigos go up to the club along with some other buddies and Anissa finds me around 1:30am. She says she has something to go do but not to leave. So I sit, have a beer and eventually she comes back and sits on my lap. She tells me I have to take her to the couch room for a lap dance (one meaning many of course).

We go back and she's really getting after it tonight. Normally she's good but she's never a package grabber and she's sloppy drunk making out with me, biting all over. It's pretty obvious something is different. (FWIW, we had exchanged numbers earlier. Had texted a little but nothing too serious)

Anyway, where bumping and grinding, she's grabbing all over me and I lose track of time.

As I'm sitting there enjoying the bliss, I hear someone yell, "ANISSA, YOU GODDAMN SLUT!" There's a shorter, bald guy with pythons for arms standing at the entrance to the couch room. He walks up and begins to just scream at her about how he's been waiting two hours and what the fuck she's doing with me. Turns out, it was her fiance ... who she lived with ... and had a kid with.

I'm a nervous wreck. I essentially sit back and take his yelling in, at both her and me. He leaves, I throw a few dollars her way, which was not nearly enough considering it is now 5am, and bolt out the door. (Yes, we were lap dancing/dry humping for 3-plus hours)

If memory serves me correct, I think I saw her one other time after and she just said. I moved to another state and by the time I got back she'd given up the pole for life as a housewife. I was this close to proving Chris Rock wrong ....

8 comments

Jump to latest
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
12 years ago
So what is the point? I don't read or listen to anything Mr Rock says or writes.
avatar for Chemicaltoilet
Chemicaltoilet
12 years ago
Chris Rock is famous for his claim, "there is no sex in the champagne room."

The majority of our members would adamantly disagree with this notion.
avatar for Revo
Revo
12 years ago
Chris Rock also said "as a father your only job is to keep your daughter off the pole".
avatar for Pablo Antonio
Pablo Antonio
12 years ago
Great story Shadow.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
12 years ago
If it WERE you, sc, the texting would have been done on stone with a chisel! :)
avatar for TortillaChip
TortillaChip
12 years ago
Chris Rock is famous and has a shit ton of money. When he said there is no sex in the champagne room I think he was talking about for Joe the Plumber types and their 200 dollar budget lol
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
12 years ago
@TortillaChip: "When he said there is no sex in the champagne room I think he was talking about for Joe the Plumber types and their 200 dollar budget"

Well, admittedly, I ain't a plumber, but I've had sex in the "champagne" room for less than $200 lots of times. Chris Rock is either just plain ignorant, or playing it off so his wife doesn't know what he's doing in the club. I'm betting the latter. :)
avatar for jabthehut
jabthehut
12 years ago
Right. That asshole (Rock) was married in 1996, the year that texting became available in the US. So if he "had texted a little" he had to have been living with 4 (or 3) guys instead of his wife and gone to college at the age of 31.
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now