I'm going to end up getting played arent I?

ASK if you don't want a RUDE surprise later. She darn well ask for compensation for her time.

See Alucard, I was going to ask but felt that might be rude. But after i thought I heard her say "johns" that made me want to ask

You can roll the dice, but in your shoes I'd ask.

I also have to wonder why she didnt say anything up front and to a slightly lesser extent, why she didnt try to make the money saturday night if she was expecting something

I would toss out some number "I'll gift you $250 for your time." or whatever. If she doesn't start firming up soon or gets flaky, I would bail on the whole idea.

It would suck to get stiffed on an event like that.

Good luck.

99% of the time, a dancer will see you as a customer inside, or outside, the club.

Especially if she has a bf; most likely she is not looking to “date” someone else and just “dates” other “johns” b/c the guy she fucks (i.e. the bf) probably doesn’t have two pennies to rub together and she is the bread winner.

You need to ask her straight out. If you don’t have the balls, or experience, to know how to be straight up with a dancer, be careful – you may not be ready for the ride.

I “think” you are treating your potential “date” with her as if you were dating a civilian. Is your interaction w/ dancers in the SC the same as your interaction w/ women in other settings, most likely not – thus I would not expect my interaction w/ the dancer OTC to be as it would be with a civilian.

My 2 cents.

You are not getting played as long as both of you are in agreement w.r.t. what is expected, IMO.

You would be getting played if you think it is something that is not such as her genuinely wanting to go out w/ you w/o any form of compensation – it can happen – but not the norm IMO.

If she really wanted to date you, she would not be “on the fence”.

You may also perhaps get a “free” date w/ her- but this may just be a way of her reeling you in as a potential future side income, IMO.

She “could” want to date you for real – but most dancers hook up with customers purely for additional income purposes .

I also think that many a dancer actually look down on SC goers and view them as not dating material – sounds odd I know – but I’ve heard from various dancers (i.e. dancers saying they would not date a guy that goes to SCs).

Papi Chulo, when i said "on the fence" it was my wording and she had come in late and that was why Saturday didnt pan out. I am still wondering why she didnt throw out a number at the beginning. You have provided the best insight so far. What do you think about her not saying "pay me and I'll go out with you"?

I also have to wonder why she wouldnt take me up on my offer for the fight date if she thought she could make more money doing that than at the club but she opted to work her entire shift. I guess Alucard was right in our argument earlier this year. Strippers are just like real women, At least in that they are as confusing as civilian women

Some dancers may not feel comfortable saying it straight out like that; i.e. "pay me and I'll go out with you".

I have gotten plenty of phone #s from dancers and them telling me to call them; hardly any of them tell me, “call me and we’ll do this for this much” – it is kind of implied.

Their purpose for interacting w/ men is for $$$, is what they do – they hardly ever hook up w/ guys b/c “they like them”; especially SC customers. They usually have the guy “they like” (or like to fuck for free) already – and like I said b/f, most dancers do not see customers as potential dates, they see them as sources of income, and the more a dancer thinks you/I are into her, the more $$$ she can get from you, in her eyes.

It is natural to feel awkward about telling a woman – “do you want $$$ in order to go out with me” – but really, are our interactions w/ dancers “normal” or more precisely “the norm” – don’t think so, IMO.

If you are not sure, just ask her politely – something along the lines of “don’t mean to offend you, but do I need to pay you for your time on our date?”. She is a dancer; she is the sex business; she already gets paid to spend time with guys; I don’t think she would be out of this world offended if you asked.

Don't do it man!

She gets busted and needs to "cooperate" with the popo, she'll be callin you to the jail cell with a solicitation charge and us posting your picture in a thread.

If you want to date a stripper you can't become a customer.

I'm talking about, zero money given to her, don't buy her drinks, NOTHING.

Otherwise of course she's seeing you as a customer and a way to get money.

Dancers are notoriously flaky w.r.t. OTC – they are even flaky inside the SC.

The one thing you can depend on for sure is that you can’t depend on a dancer.

Most of these girls have a lot going in on in their lives; often a lot of drama.

They have life issues and responsibilities outside the club; and if she already has a bf, which most do, then it makes things more complicated.

As to her not going to the SC to be with you instead; a good dancer in a good club can make more in her shift than on a OTC date (unless you are planning to spend $500 or more on her). Also, if she can see you on her off time, she can both make the money from her shift, and from you.

I don’t think most dancers will not go into their scheduled shift, especially on the highest earning night of the week (Sat.), to go on an OTC date – but I could be wrong.

ouch. By not setting a monetary number up front, your at a huge disadvantage. She could spring any kind of dollar amount at you now and use that number to make or break the "date ". Good luck.

I may have read the OP wrong – but to me it sounded as if he was not sure whether the dancer was up for a “regular” non P4P date, or if it was purely P4P – since she did not explicitly say “this much”

It could also be that it may be P4P and the OP is worried that if it turns out that way, then he may be in over his head?

Yes. It actually sounds like you are looking to get played, the way you are handling things.

Sounds like to much work and stress, just for a date whether it is P4P or not. Probably not worth your time. The motto "I a'int the one" works when you think a girl you are digging on -- stripper or civilian is playing you.

To me it depends how old you are. If you are a 60 year old guy, then yes she will definitely want money for her time. If you are around her age (not sure how old she is, maybe 20's?), then you have a much better shot of hanging out with her for free. If you're around her age I wouldn't ask her about the money, let her bring it up. You don't want to be a 20 something year old guy paying strippers just to hang out with you.

And remember, sometimes rejection is God's protection!

@deogol golden words.

You need to iron out details and expectations in advance so no one gets embarrassed or ripped off. I had a regular stripper who offered no extras. I finally talked her into meetiing me OTC at a very nice restaurant. She told me she never has sex for money, has sex with whom and when SHE wants. I'm significantly older than she and she told me the chance of us fucking we're slim. She enjoys my company and will meet me for dinner and maybe smoke a little weed back at her house, but don't expect anything else.
I appreciated her honesty, had a real nice night, but ended up at home at midnight boopiing the baloney. Several nights later I spent an hour in VIP with her and her naked body running itself up and down on me nearly put me over the top. Once again, home for a quick date with Mary Palm and her 5 sisters. She wants another "date", and I don't know where it leads - if she's testing me or what. But at least all is above board

and sometimes the answer comes by asking her, not us.

Ranukan: I missed where you personally have been constantly entertained in strip clubs due to your natural mad skills with women and never paid for the attention. As for your basic generalizations related to age and the supernatural studliness of those in their 20's, perhaps you could assist me with the Shadowcat phenomenon? I assume your post was clouded by sleep deprivation, or mind altering substance, because I don't recall any other post by you that makes me call out publically - Bull Shit!

I actually agree w/ ranukam's statement.

I do think that if one is at least 10 years older than the dancer, it is much much more likely that the dancer will only hang with the custie b/c she’s getting paid.

I can see a dancer wanting/willing to hang with a custie that is about her age and they have similar interests - although I still hold to the default view that she more likely wants to hook up to make some side cash.

But the fact that the dancer in question said she has a bf makes me think that her “dating” other guys is not in the normal non P4P sense.

Something will come up at the last minute and she won't be able to make it, unless you clarify first that you are going to pay her for her time.

rockie: " perhaps you could assist me with the Shadowcat phenomenon? "

What's the Shadowcat phenomenon? I haven't heard brag about hanging with strippers for free.

I don't question that a young man can get a lot for free out in the real world, but the totally free play in a strip club usually overlooks the contribution of his entertainer's preferred drug of choice by him to her. So if he trolled the library,the shopping mall,the grocery store and has game can he get everything he wants at minimum outlay - Absolutely! This is TUSCL and I question why the 24 year old with mad skills is wasting his talent in a strip club.

"I question why the 24 year old with mad skills is wasting his talent in a strip club." I don't know if that was directed at me, but I "waste my time" in the strip clubs because strippers are freaks in the bedroom, they are down for anything. What can I say, I love great sex.

The easiest and fastest way to get into a hot girl’s pants now a days is to pay them – especially if one wants to get into hot girls’ pants on a regular basis – say weekly – and it may actually even cost you less $$$ wise, time wise, and drama wise.

My only issue is the suggestion that it is all free play in a strip club, not that free play can't be a component of an investment of time and money previously made in and out of the club. So I get offers of free get togethers all the time in my paid for visits and it is my expectation that any such encounter will not come without a cost that will be tabled when she presents her real deal! I pass on the free get togethers most of the time and make them spell it out pre-event if I accept. Yes I'm an older guy who certainly get's to pay for my entertainment, whenever it involves younger women and a strip club. A recent dynamic of being chased by real world sexy women 10 years younger than me or more, has me befuddled and confused, as with two exceptions it's a rarity that women have succumbed to my cranky old bastard charm! Ranukam: I'll retract my BS call and apologize for targetting you.

Long time no hear Che – nice to have you back.

Remember you don't pay her to be with you - you pay her to LEAVE! LOL