tuscl

Best You've Ever Zinged a Stripper

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 7:19 AM
Her: I am looking for a man who will treat me like the princess that I am! Me: So you're a princess are you? Her: That's right! Me: Do princesses typically sell handjobs for $50?

49 comments

  • Golfer99
    •
    18 years ago
    I generally am polite, maybe too much so and don't say too much. Once this dancer who was butt ugly would not leave me along. Finally she gave up and hit me with so I guess you just don't like hot women who want to get you off and I came back with well do you know any?
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    Pretty sad how a self proclaimed ladies man like davids cannot just go out to have fun. Everything has to be some social experiment ending up with him insulting some poor girl who is trying to earn a living. This is the kind of "man" we should all look up to. A real fucking hard guy...
  • RomanticLover
    •
    18 years ago
    $50???? What is it with these prices? How much would AFFECTION cost?
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    I'm supprised that Clifbar the "catchers mitt of cumm" hasn't weighed in since davids is too busy insulting girls to see if it will finaly get him laid.
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    well pussy we are waiting...
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    clifbar / davids: Whats the matter? Got your tounge caught in some dude's zipper? Or are you just too lazy to answer?
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    davids which hand did you name Clifbar?
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    parody: Dude you are just gross. I can't solve the equation. Hell I don't even want to think about it. Why don't you post to the solution. Seems to me that "COCKSUCKER MATH" is an area that would interest you a great deal and that you might even excell at. (Didn't your mother teach you to do similar calculations when she was raising you in her image?)
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    O = davids oral orfice. P = penis. $ = no more than $5 bux. T = Time spent sucking said penises. B = 1 Gallon buckets. Solve this davids... How many cocks do you have to cram into "O" in "X" amount of "T" to fill one "B" with the cum you spit up? Bonus Question: How much "$" will you make? Call this COCKMASTER MATH
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    Can you prove it? Will you use the same BULLSHIT fucked up math that you did with abby?
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    davids are you so paralized by small mans syndrome that you cannot reply?
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    parody: The only stripper I've ever been abusive to was your mother, and the btich deserved that because a) she was fat and ugly b) she gave birth to a subhuman named "parodyman--->"
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    davids you are once again proven a liar. Here is a direct quote from your original post: "Her: I am looking for a man who will treat me like the princess that I am! Me: So you're a princess are you? Her: That's right! Me: Do princesses typically sell handjobs for $50?" So I guess you have been abusive to strippers or you made it up to make it sound like you don't spend your evenings on the couch practicing your HAIRY PALMISTRY. Take your pick numb nuts.
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    dude, that stripper was your mother.
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    davids you don't have to answer why you don't scratch my balls instead of scratching your last post. But please do grace us on why you feel that being abusive to a stripper will help get you laid? Especially when nothing you've ever done in the past has.
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    Why, instead of scratching the last post, don't you scratch my balls? You sure get upset easily when someone uses your own tactics on you. Pretty lame, even for a gypsy dildo fortune teller like yourself.
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    parody: You are the bullshiter: One minute claiming I believe in that stuff, the next that you know I don't. Take your bullshit and lame attempts at humor elsewhere, you loser.
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    OOpps. I forgot parodySUBHUMAN has a freezeout. Scratch the last post.
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    He won't clarify anything. davids will just make up some BULLSHIT and then back it up with the junk sciences of palm reading, fortune telling and NLP.
  • AbbieNormal
    •
    18 years ago
    davids, that's a very interesting analysis. Here's another one you might consider. 1) The stripper wants to make money. To do so she must approach customers who are willing to spend money. 2) The princess line can be taken as a playful come-on, but can also reveal if a guy is into spending money. 3) By using that, or similar lines she is both introducing herself and setting up a transaction in the future. There may not have been any deep seated psychological issues other than wanting to get a sense of your spending potential. Now I assuled this was an introduction, mostly since you wouldn't respond when I asked what prompted your insult (you certainly didn't say she had actually offered a handjob for $50, which would be a rather important detail). Feel free to clarify if I don't have the context right.
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    davids you seem to know an awful lot about what women / strippers want. Is this because you are a true COCKMASTER? Or is it because you are THE PINACLE OF STRIP CLUB SUCCESS? Or could it be PERSONAL EXPERIENCE?
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    I think the story in the original post is a fine example of the strippers not dating customers question. Notice: a) Like all women the stripper fantasizes that she is really a princess b) The woman looks for a man who agrees with this idealized image she has of herself c) The (asshole) customer clearly does not agree with the stripper's idealized image of herself: What a princess sells handjobs for $50? Sounds more like a prostitue to me. d) Stripper has got used to customers not beleiving in her fantasy image of herself: When someone buys LDs from her he is treating her as a prostitute, so clearly does not think she is a princess. So I think the solution is to not treat strippers like they are prostitutes at all by buying dances from them. Rather slowly (so it seems credible) buy into the you're a princess/I'm a prince frame. Similarly, would a prince pay women from conversation? (I mean a fantasy prince here: there probably are loser real world princes throughout history who have paid for sex/conversation/whatever.) The more I think/study/experiment with this stuff the more convinced I am that it is strippers in at least as much need of fantasy as customers are (and that, obviously, is saying alot) .
  • AbbieNormal
    •
    18 years ago
    "Just ignore the real troll of TUSCL: AN." That's right davids, I'm your own personal troll. I'll continually relentlessly ask viscious questions like "Why do you want to insult a stripper? Did she do something to deserve it?" or "Please explain that to me." I'll also offer blistering personal attacks like "That's not true" and "You are wrong about that" without remorse. I'll respond to your arguments with profanity laced insults like "No, actually what I said was..." or "Are you seriously arguing that..." There is no hope davids. Unless I get bored with you and decide I'd rather surf for porn.
  • AbbieNormal
    •
    18 years ago
    "Could someone who claims to have a BSc in math, an MSc in astrophysics, and to be a professor of an anonymous physical science really not know what Godel's theorem was, or never have heard of a Turing Award?" Explain to me, with your vast knowledge of physics, math, and astronomy, exactly why I HAVE to know these things. Also, the Godel thing is another lie. I do know what it is, I just said I have never needed a working knowledge of it, and never will because I am not a theoretical mathmetician. In a very limited philosophical sense it is interesting, beyond that I don't care. Why I should care about an award for work in computer sciences is beyond me, and probably beyond any explanation you can give.
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    Just ignore the real troll of TUSCL: AN.
  • AbbieNormal
    •
    18 years ago
    No, actually I said I like to push YOUR buttons. I also said the lack of provable truth was your favorite tactic, so I'd see how you liked it used on you. Now you continue the tactic even further "In fact, you fundamentally don't even beleive in truth" How would you have any way to know what I believe? You seem to be able to read minds. Yet if I try to correct you you'll just repeat it, call me an idiot, and scream strawman. You also keep upping the bar. First you seemed to say I was obviously well educated, now you've rolled it back to a college dropout. You do this because you know that on an anonymous board I won't do anything to prove you wrong, like posting my diploma or revealing who I am. The claim is meaningless because you can't know. It is every bit as meaningless as me claiming you eat puppies. Prove me wrong. Now as I start to confront you and challenge you you come up with "Anyway, too many lies and strawmen in your last post", yet will never identify one. You simply state it as fact and demand it be believed and claim to have refuted me decisively by essentially saying "is not". Now you'll run away till this dies down and you can post again without me calling you on your BS.
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    And just as a warning to anyone who contemplates taking AN seriously: Ask yourself this: Could someone who claims to have a BSc in math, an MSc in astrophysics, and to be a professor of an anonymous physical science really not know what Godel's theorem was, or never have heard of a Turing Award? What are the odds? I put them at exactly 1 in 10,347. How about you?
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    AN: Wrong you said that you aruge here just to push people's buttons and, as a consequence, the truth or lack of it is irrelevent to you when you argue. In fact, you fundamentally don't even beleive in truth. Typical sophmoric, nihilist. Probably why you rationalized dropping out of college to become an alcoholic and a bartender. Why you didn't get far enough to learn what Godel's theorem was, or what a Turing award. But for some reason you like to pretend you are on the net. Hey, I guess this board is all about "fantasy" for you right. Anyway, too many lies and strawmen in your last post. Guess you trying to push buttons par usual and not concerned with the truth. Ok, you are getting a freezeout... BBFN.
  • AbbieNormal
    •
    18 years ago
    Also notice that I asked a very simple and serious question above; "So exactly what did you gain from insulting a stripper? Did she do something to merit your insult?" His response was to ignore it and attack me personally. That is about par for the course.
  • AbbieNormal
    •
    18 years ago
    "Too bad you admitted recently that you don't even care about truth here..." Perfect example. What I said was that truth can not be proven beyond a certain point here. I can say davids eats puppies repetedly, and he can't prove it false. He says I lie, all I can do is say I don't. To a large extent I really don't care what he says because of this, that and the fact that the majority of the board dismisses everything he says or ignores him anyway. You have been tagged on some easily provable whoppers however. You claimed bartenders were paid based on a salary for instance (and that I was an idiot to think they made their money from tips like strippers), or that one couldn't possibly be a scientist without knowing Godel's theorem (as if you ever displayed any knowledge of it in more depth than is available on Wikipedia). When called on these obvious gaffes you scream "STRAWMAN" and stomp off. Sorry, that isn't logic you are using. In addition you demand a courtesy that you don't extend. The person who throws out the most insults here is you. You claim you only insult people as a response to insults. The problem is that you consider someone telling you you are wrong to be an insult. In many cases it's just plain fact.
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    Nah, I say YOU especially argue with the most absurd strawmen because YOU argue with the most absurd strawmen. Too bad you admitted recently that you don't even care about truth here, and you argue positions, whether you really beleive in them or not just for fun. Stupid troll. Go have another drink at the bar, and debate nihilistic crap with your fellow drunkards about how nothing can really be known. You fucking loser.
  • AbbieNormal
    •
    18 years ago
    No, you pretty much call us liars if we don't agree with you. To you any argument you disagree with or any analogy you don't like is a strawman, it has little to do with logic.
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    I only hate the posters here whose only forms of argument are insults and strawmen. Those who are polite, can present their positions logically, who represent my positions accurately if they disagree, and who are generally honest I have no problem with. Unfortunately there are very few posters on this board like that. As I say it most just a collection of PLs telling each other that they are not really PLs to make each other feel good. It reminds me of the BBW (Big Beautiful Women) movement. I think TUSCL regulars are the BBWs of strip clubs.
  • AbbieNormal
    •
    18 years ago
    davids hates everyone. Because we're old. And we go to clubs to have fun (which means we spend money). If you disagree with davids you are a liar or suffering from some sort of denial. If you tell him he is wrong you are insulting him and will be flamed and called an idiot, liar, PL, etc, etc. Most of us ignore him. Parodyman and I seem to find him rather amusing but keep it to threads he starts so we don't bother the others.
  • giveitayank
    •
    18 years ago
    Wow!!! Do you two really hate each other that much??
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    Well Mr. Subhuman: My philosophy is this. Better to tell a little white lie once in a blue moon than to continuously be nothing but a subhuman, excrement and masturbation fixated, fart joker teller.
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    davids, it seems like lying (RE Bullshitting) is all you do. PISS, POO, FARTS, ANUS, MASTURBATE
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    Haha! Yeah, I lied. Cope.
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    Well, werer waiting davids...
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    It seems that you davids are the one with excerment and masturbation fixations. You mention them in alomst every post directed at me even when I do not. Why is that? Are you to much of a PL to admit your problems and try to go on with your miserable life?
  • AbbieNormal
    •
    18 years ago
    I thought you weren't answering me anymore. Liar!!
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    That was your mom I zinged, parody? She seemed a little young. Oh, wait you are actually two years which accounts for your excerment and masturbation fixations. Yeah, she could have been a mom to the two year old parodyman. It almost makes sense now. But I have a question: You claim to be married. How is that possible if you are two years old?
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    But, on the bright side, at least she wasn't a subhuman fart joke teller!
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    Guess you are looking for dear old mom?
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    My guess was that she was merely a nihilistic, and sophmoric alcoholic. My guess is that at age forty she'll merely be a bartender, or perhaps a cab driver at best.
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    She had tried to tell me that she was a professor of an anonymous physical science. However, I was skeptical when she gave a bogus statement of what Godel's theorem was and then claimed that she had never heard of a Turing award before I mentioned it to her. I decided she was fraud and, hence, in need of a good zinging.
  • AbbieNormal
    •
    18 years ago
    So exactly what did you gain from insulting a stripper? Did she do something to merit your insult?
  • davids
    •
    18 years ago
    We should do a controlled study and see if my strategy works better than parody's "swear, act like a retard, and tell fart jokes" strategy does.
  • parodyman-->
    •
    18 years ago
    You are such a funny guy! I'm sure insulting the strippers along with the refusal to part with any cash must be getting you laid left and right.
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