All deaths are of natural causes unless otherwise stated.
Shadowcat 1:1 Leaking oxygen tank explodes due to static electricity Clubber 2:1 Mounts fat stripper thinking its his hog(stabbed) Maddogromeo 3:1 Chokes on condom/shot
Feel free to fill in the blanks
Dougy!Relax!Whats your bio?
Dougster: Wanders into a club one day. By chance meets 2 other TUSCL members. One is named ClubKarma, and the other is named RevengeServedCold.
You know the rest.
Doc Holiday: Troop finally tracks him down. Troop does the unthinkable and spends the rest of his life behind bars.
stumblingdice blinded by stripper love suffocates to death with his nose burried in stripper's ass.
Dice: Tried to talk shit on this board with a cock in his mouth. Choked to death.
Dugly: Actually goes to a stripclub. Forgets he's not on the the internet and calls dancers whores and customers fags. Beaten to death.
Juiceman trades foodstamps for bucket of KFC. Goes to projects to trade KFC for anal sex, but just as he is getting lubed up, discovers chicken is bad and dues from salmonella
Is that all you got?Meadowrat!If your nice to me I'll tell you where I buried that fuckin cat.It's no Mystery.
Juice!Your really a pimple faced little white dude right?
The world, in reality, becomes as bleak as it currently is in the jestie-girl's imagination (think "The Road"). The jestie-girl throws himself off a bridge.
Gatorfan!We need ya now.
Gatorfan is goaded into responding on a TUSCL discussion thread, and in a sudden bout of inspiration attempts to type more than 6 words. His keyboard overheats, bursts into flames, and he is overcome by toxic fumes before he can press the "Post Comment" button.
He dies with his boots on and his zipper down.
Gator!You gonna let him get away w that?
Despite all the extremes he goes to cover his tracks, RickyBoyDugan's wife notices that his business finances are are a little off. Normally very passive, she, for once her life takes some initaitve, and hires a private investigator to learn more.
The trail of bread crumbs leads back to TUSCL where she learns of his BBFS activites. She confronts him. Rick tries to deny for hours on end, because he is so used to tap-dancing his way out of any lie, but the detective gave his wife too much evidence for him to get away. She demands an STD test which Ricky fails. She then demands a psychiatric evaluation where Rick is found to be narcissist with anti-social traits.
Rick's wife divorces RickyBoy and the judge is heavily sympathetic to her. She gets the kids, but is disappointed to find that due to various accounting scams there is actually no money in the banks for the children to go to college, and the business itself is actually insolvent. Guess those "40 OTC session/year" combined with the fact that RickyBoy was overpaying really added up.
RickyBoy's reputation is ruined (turns out many were onto him and it wasn't that great in the first place) and he ends up homeless, sleeping outdoors with txtittyfan. They both try and blame it all on "Douchster" and all his multiple aliases, but that is not enough to prevent them from freezing to death one cold NY night.
Shad! You lick so much stripper pussy.What does my dick taste like?
LOL. Pretty neat story. There are a couple of factual inaccuracies in there (my wife being "passive" and the extent of my BB activities), but overall this was entertaining. :)
Due to ovecrowding at the Wayne County jail, Ron gets early release. Pissed that Jackslash refused to bail him out, armed with a 2 by 4, Ron tracks down Jack at the Flight Club. But Ron can't afford the valet charge, so leaves.
Meanwhile, jack keeps fucking Ron's GF. Not everyone has to die. Now that's a happy ending.
Jackslash, celebrating his 100th birthday, violates the rule against eating stripper pussy and chokes on a bearded clam.
Juan,Juan,Juan,Just take a knee,admire your gold watch,you served us well,take your 65 cross power trap n take a nap.Can't hear about your lifetime v.i.p. pass one more time.Tired of the girls at Follies talking about the hematomas on your dick.Reunite w your grandkids,they miss you.Once again I thank you and good luck.
We've all got to go sometime. But 67-year-old Robert Gene White did so in a way that some men would find enviable, after receiving several lap dances at a Texas strip club.
And he managed to pass away before having to pay his bill.
Local Fox affiliate KDFW reports that White "enjoyed several lap dances" on a Friday night at the Red Parrot Strip Club in El Paso before meeting his demise.
However, when employees came to collect payment from White he was "unresponsive," according to another station, KVIA. The local sheriff's department said club workers and paramedics made several unsuccessful attempts to revive White.
The sheriff's office said it suspects White died of natural causes and does not suspect foul play in the incident.
I don't wear boots and my zipper is down.
Exactly Ten days ago I was in Las Vegas at a strip club. Before the night was over a stripper approached me and told me she would give me a hand job. I went with her to a back room and she started to give me a lap dance with her underwear on. It was only a topless strip club, so they had to keep their bottoms on. She then proceeded to undo my belt and give me a hand job under my pants. Throughout the whole ordeal she would dance on top of me and my area with her area and I believe she touched her own vagina (skin) a few times, then proceeded to finish me off. Nothing of any sort was ever inserted between the two of us. No oral, vaginal, or anal, Just hand-to-gential contact!!! My pants and underwear never came off, it was just her hand touching my penis. I did eventually end up cumming in my boxers with her hand still down there. About three days after the incident had happened I returned to Minnesota and felt a slight irritation in my throat. Just to warn you the tempature in Minnesota has been changing from 30 degrees at night to about 50 or 60 degrees during the day. It has gotten a lot colder so maybe these feelings are from that, also I have been feeling tired during the day and pretty depressed and disgusted with the incident that had taken place. I have only been with one other women in my whole life and she is currently my girlfriend for the past three years. I am extremely nervous and paranoid from this. Can you please answer the following questions to the best of your knowledge:
1.) I want to know if I should go to my doctor and get checked for any std's and/or HIV?
2.)what is the % of contracting HIV through what I have explained? Let me tell you that this is all that is on my mind lately. I can't do school work, I can't sleep, and I just cannot concentrate because I am thinking about the worst and if I have ruined my life for ever because of this incident.
3.) what is the % of contracting any other std's with these actions and these symptoms?
4.) How alarming are these symptons that I have described to you after doing this in Las vegas? Is it just my mind playing tricks on my or could it be the tempature of Minnesota?
Thank you so much for listening and your website and your Q and A are unbelievably helpful and insightful.
Keep Up the good work and thanks for listening!
Gator!Stick to six words or iess.
If it's more good chance he cut and paste it.
Founder gets pissed after reading through a years worth of unopened PM's Alucard sent him on what he NEEDS to do to make the site better. He decides he's had enough of TUSCL and doesn't want to read another word of: what Juice is doing with his dick, if so and so still works at X club, how to get OTC, what is OTC, how to spell OTC, tattoos&piercings, stripper boyfriends, 2AM'ers, some guy JUST discovering a new system for rating girls 1-10, Jester, where to get OTC, or if Jester is gay because he's never desired OTC. Founder ends the world as we know it.
Skip to 2:50
Yeah,Cat it's a mighty fine ass.
Clubber doesn't die mounting his hog, rather he is peacefully typing a message on TUSCL when he hears a noise in his house and goes to chk
Nice to see Dugly's brought out a new username. Guess he's still sad about being on ignore.
Nice to see jestie is as paranoid as ever despite his how "content" he claims to be about his job and life in general. (Hmmm... something not adding up.)
I feel like gay-bashing!Where is Mad Dog?
Sure does seem that tumblingdice has as huge a hard on for Shadowcat as Dougster has for Alucard.
trojangreg jumps from brIdge after loss to Notre Dame
jablake (MIA from board for several years) is discovered to be locked away in an institution for the mentally insane.
He gets a one-day pass and goes to thecnearest strip club. The dancers become concerned after some convo with him, call the cops and he has a stroke while attempting to be restrained with a strait jacket
MisterGuy's deepest fears come true. A bunch of right-wing reactionaries overthrow the government, appoint Scalia as President, who makes gay bars illegal. Hopelessly depressed, he kills himself.
You forgot the ever popular broken glass in the ice gets swallowed by ...... (fill in the blank) causing internal laceration and internal bleeding...
I'll have a bottled water please leave the lid on!
Dudes I ain't sensin the love
Jab! Although Cat's and my territories cross, I have nothing against him, don't even know him!I just verbally assault the biggest guy in the joint and see what falls to the ground. The Swisher sweet I do have an issue with is Mad Dog, boy is he perpetrating a fraud.
I haven't even read many of FAGDOG's posts. All I know is he is one of these guys who thinks he is a good guy/hero because he claims to respect whores more than some people do. Not sure when people are going to finally get it through their minds here - sorry, but if you pay whores for sex you do not respect them. You are trying to have your cake and eat it too, but the two are mutually exclusive. Anyway, I never even noticed the guy until he posted multiple times attacking me, when I had never even addressed. Finally, I did say something, and he was mystified when I was saying anything about him. What a clueless fuckin' fuck.
Just out of curiosity, Dougster, why do you think that someone who takes money for sex is somehow less deserving of respect that someone who takes money for, say, medical care, or legal services, or car repair, or playing football? Is it just the fact that it's for sex? If so, what about sex makes it different from those others?
Yes, there are individuals, in every, profession, who don't deserve respect, but that's not generally because of the exchange of money for services.
Would you have a problem if you had a child who was a doctor or football player? How about a daughter who was a whore? Think people should be able to answer this question themselves. (Lawyer is kind of a grey area. Not all are bad, but some are.)
Mister Guy do you know Mad Dog?
But Dougster, I'm interested in your answer. You say it should be obvious, a d by that I assume you mean that the profession of selling sex is so reprehensible that it needs no further explanation.
I'm really interested in why you think that.
george - I can understand that if we all here were completely rational, emotionless robots and we had daughters that were the same then we would have no problem with them providing sexual services for money. We would just weigh how much money was to be made versus probability and cost of contracting an STD or running into some psycho who would throw her into a wood chiper and, maybe, conclude that it was a net positive number, so go ahead with it.
Similarly, if we were said emotionaless, completely rational robots, every time an oppurtunity came along to do something considered "immoral" like stealing, we won't think "is this right or wrong?" but we would just weigh how much we stood to make times the probability of not getting caught and subtract what we stood to lose times probability of getting caught. If the number was positive we would steal, if it was not we won't.
But, people are not like that. Women who provide sex for money are not that cold (even if many try to be and wish they were). Even stripping takes it toll on every single one I've met as time wears on. (Even highly intelligent and educated ones.) They aren't happy with themselves, and, once they do become happy with themselves they are out as fast as they can get out and don't look back.
Now if you want to ask the deeper question of why society shuns the activity, I think it just boils down to the way evolution works. Women are supposed to be exclusive about who they have sex with because in the evolutionary environment if they weren't and got knocked up by some random fellow they were doing two things - putting themselves at physical risk during pregancy, and not finding the best genes they could to combine with theirs and pass along. Hence these notions, which are probably so ingrained as to be archetypal in the Jungian sense, arise in the human mind, even, as I say, if we were completely emotionless robots, we could rise above it all and say - Well those ideas are from an earlier times, and outdated now, so we just will choose not have women feel that way anymore.
You can't switch it off like that. And, as I pointed out above, you do want people to governed by things that are irrational like that. If you look at it completely objectively morals against not stealing, even if you can get away with it for instance, just won't make sense. Would that be a prefered society to live in?
The tl;dr version, is that in reality providing sex for money (or even lap dancing for money) has a bad emotional toll on those who do the providing for even a little while, and I have yet to meet a counter-example to prove otherwise. (And yes, I have known plenty of strippers who really were in school and didn't do drugs. Doesn't matter still takes their toll on them.)
As I say, guys here know that damn well, and hence they are not being "good guys" by being the payers, but they think that if they make enough bluster about it (and some like FAGDOG_ROMEO are especially loud) they can convince others what good guys, even heroes they are. And maybe if they can convince others they can convince themselves (the ultimate goal).
Ultimately this board is meant to be a circle-jerk of others convincing each other of this shared delusion. There is little intersection with reality, however, and the board is very hostile to those who decide to invite in mister reality to rain on their party every now and then.
@Dougster - Two observations:
You have not made a case for lasting damage for those women who strip and/or prostitute, but then move on; and that is likely the vast majority. I suspect that our society is full of women who went that route, and are now leading conventional lives with families and conventional jobs. Are they all "walking wounded?" If so, would this not be a huge advocacy issue among women? I suspect the situation is not so extreme; that there are plenty of women who have regrets, but balance that with the pragmatic benefits of generating the income they needed at the time. (But then, I don't have the reliable evidence of that either; just a supposition on my part).
You have not answered the question of why they are not deserving of respect. Much of what you describe could also apply to any group of workers who share the common fate of being in a shitty job for a while, with poor working conditions. Perhaps the specific experiential impacts are different, but the net effect is that shitty jobs wear you down physically and emotionally. Certainly, we would not propose that people who have shitty jobs are undeserving of respect.
harry:
Did I say there was "lasting damage"? In terms of wasted time there is - prime years you don't get back, but I have seen some go on to pretty normal lives. Thing was once that happens they are much happier than when they were stripping proving my point.
"You have not answered the question of why they are not deserving of respect" Yes, I have, but you just cannot read very well. I have shown that it is self-destructive behavior. Do I respect the guy at the casino I see throwing away his money on the roulette wheel? The meth addict whose face you know is going to decay away so much more rapidly than years say it should over time? Nope, can't honestly say I respect those kinds of people. No you are going to try and kid me that you do? Ok, haha, laughed at your joke in advance.
Honest, the stuff I've seen people do to themselves in their early twenties and bounce back from, makes me wonder if anything they can do inflects "lasting damage" at that age. What a total strawman.
@Fraudster: Ye ol', "It's not my opinion, but that of society" position, the last bastion of the emotionally weak. So-called society is full of people with wildly varying viewpoints on a variety of topics, including sex workers. Don't be such a pussy by trying to hide behind some purported group-think opinion. Man up and own your own views, as shitty as they are.
It doesn't take a "hero" to treat others with dignity and respect, regardless of whether we would approve of what they do with or to themselves. It is called maturity.
I see this as just another symptom of the same pathology that leads you to try so hard to look like you belong on here. Your deep insecurities not only lead to to try far too hard to mimic seasoned club hounds, but also drives you to pass rigid judgment upon others in order to feel better about yourself. This also invariably leads to conflicting statements on a site like this, where in one post you are falsely claiming to be "OTC'ing" (lol on that term btw) while in another post you are implying that there is something wrong with guys paying for sex.
You are truly fucked in the head, which normally I would find sad if you were not so annoying.
Rick, it's my opinion, that of society, and yours since you (and other wannabe heroes like txittyfan) have admitted that you would never be happy with your own daughter offering sex for money. It is not a profession you can respect, otherwise you would be fine with your own daughter doing it.
We all think the same way, some of just admit it, and some of us (you) don't. I don't try and convince others I think in a way that I do not. I do not claim I am a good guy/hero, but you are constantly pulling this one. This is why you have the contradictory thinking, but I do not.
Also, Rick, you're claim that I do not go to strip clubs is just another product of same paranoid mind of yours that claims every stripper who posts on here is actually just a guy pretending to be one. Yep, lot of credibility you have with your conspiracy theories after that one.
Douchester, Fraudster, Cocksucker or whatever you are today.
I do not disrespect sex workers. They are providing a service that a large portion of the populus seems to engage in.
Regarding my daughter, her life choice is hers to make. I seriously doubt she will be a sex worker because her financial means enable her to not have to make that career choice.
I do not want her to be a sex worker any more than I want her to be a soldier or policeman. All of these professions earn respect.
You on the other hand, seem to always offer contadictory positions as pointed out by Rick.
Fraudster, more misdirection and obfuscation - LOL. I expect no less. ;)
Did I miss the Great Society page on the web? You know, the one that lays out what Society's views are on various topics? LOL. This must be information that only you have access to, which is why you feel free to be the spokesperson for society as a whole. ;)
And stop already with the use of the "would my father want me to do it" standard as the benchmark for what is and is not ok from a societal standpoint. It is a stupid argument, subject to many examples of things that fathers would take much harsher views on than would others who were differently situated.
I'll believe you guys really do respect whores when you tell me you would be fine with your own daughter working as one. Tell then, like I say, it you want to be seen as a good guy but not acting as one. Just like we are to believe that Rick cares about his wife but is willing to put her at risk of std's via BBFS with strippers.
As for crackpot theories about me never having been in a strip club, right up there with your idea that every stripper who posts on this site is just a male pretending to be a stripper.
Right tittyfan, so I your daughter became a stripper it would be no different for you then I she became a policeman or soldier. You would hold her and equal esteem either way.
Thanks for giving me the new material though guys. Of all the non-credible statements you have made I'll add that you hold strippers in the same regard and worthy of respect as policemen and soldiers? Are starting to see why nothing you two say is anything that I can believe?
"I'll believe you guys really do respect whores when you tell me you would be fine with your own daughter working as one."
There you go again - LOL. I have plenty of respect for a good number of strippers, irrespective of whether I would want my daughter working as one.
And yet more misdirection with the other stuff. I never claimed to have regular BBFS with strippers or that you have never been in a strip club.
What I have stated, plain as day, is that you are full of shit re: what you do and with whom. What's worse, however, is that immediately following a desperate post for acceptance, you will then post something critical of guys who do the things that you falsely claim to do.
You, sir,are fucked in the head. What damaged you so badly? Are you on meds or, as I suspect, refusing to take them? Seriously, these are the only things that I can think of to explain your odd behaviors.
You know what I find the funniest. The fact that you an tittyfuck are seriously trying to convince me that you would respect you own daughter just the same if she was having sex for money professionally than if she were a policeman or soldier, and yet you all me the fraud!
Like I say I think you and tittyfuck just are the kinds of guys who lied professionally - him as a stock broker and you as salesman so you think you can get away with it here.
It's as if we are discussing what two plus two equals. I say four and you guys say five. To disprove you I point out that the sum of two even numbers itself is even, and you guys say "just quit bringing that up!" Sorry but it's Germaine so I will! Don't like it? Tough shit!
I totally see through you guys - the thing which rally has it you all reilled up here.
Yep, I'm full of shit, Rick, just like how you said all the strippers who post here are also full I shit because they are, in reality just guys pretending to be strippers. Got it!
One not question Rick - if your wife finds out and your clubbing and your BBFS activities do you think she would consider me to be the fraud or you? Do you feel like a Fraud around her when you lie to here about what you are doing on your trips so she doesn't find out? Does call me a fraud make you fell better about being a fraud to her?
alutard accidentally picks up a glass containing vodka in a strip club and drinks it thinking it is merely water. Has a bad reaction with his psychotropic meds and CAD. No one is in any rush to call the ambulance so he doesn't make it to the ER on time.
txtittyfan after having lost all his money shorting treasuries is homeless. At first he is wise enough to stay in nice sunny and warm Phoenix, but then he gets the idea of visiting his good buddy (RichyRich) RickDugan in New York to see if he can get a stake to get back into day-trading (or is that "gay-trading") the markets. tittyfan hitch-hikes across the country offering blowjobs for rides. When he gets to New York, however, Rick is too paranoid too meet him. tittyfan can't afford the New York Hotels so sleeps with other homeless people outside. Since he is not conditioned to the cold climate, however, he freezes to death one night. Not enough in the bank even to cover his funeral expenses, so the family auction off his daughter to the highest bidder (a guy from TUSCL named "Dougster") to cover the expenses.