Say no to....Lapdances (and drugs)

avatar for Estafador
Estafador
BIG APPLE
So, I'm sure you've ALL been down that road. Some chick, either she's not hot, she's a newbie, you've had a bad experience with her before, or she presses you for VIP when you don't want one. How do you handle it. Usually for me, I see the dancer approaching me, and assess the situation. For me, generally she's not hot enough because as far as I see, these days, I get good contact so the problems simply lies within the physical features. So I immediately whip out the phone and pretend like there's something interesting happening there. Generally that never works because bitches are persistent. They start talking, whether its striking up a conversation or just straight up saying hi following with "vannadaunce". My respeonse is generally "not right now", "come back later", "I'm just chilling for now" ecetera ecetera. Generally I'm making up excuses under the sun without out right saying now. I'm too nice to tell her she's ugly or she's too flat or whatever. I don't want problems, I don't want her getting all loud because I called her ugly or said she smells. Even when I give myself a mantra saying "i'm gonna straight up say no", I wound up just being nice and making up an excuse why I can't get a take one right that moment, then next moment a hottie appears and she sees me grinding on her. So how do you handle saying no to a hottie. Do you lie, do you be gentle, are you straight up telling bitches nope? What's your story.

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avatar for steve229
steve229
12 years ago

Try the all purpose "I'm waiting for someone...

Even if It's your first time in a club, don't consider it lying - you are waiting for someone...better, different, cuter, hotter, thinner, etc.



avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
12 years ago
Most of the dancers know this a business. They understand they will get no's and you might get a dance with the next girl who rolls up. There are dancers who won't come to you because they don't like how you dress or look or think you won't spend enough cash on them. I wouldn't spend too much time over thinking it. I just say no thanks if I don't want a dance with them. If I don't want her to come back, I don't want give her an excuse by saying 'come back later'.
avatar for jerikson40
jerikson40
12 years ago
Of course, I think we've all been in the exact same situation and probably handled it the same way. Trying to be nice.

And we all hear dancers complaining because customers are always lying. And why don't they just say they don't want a dance instead of leading me on? But if you tell them flat out they get hurt. Or so we think.

In any case, my first advice would be this:

Don't take the route that every freakin' teenage (and older) girl on the planet takes, and that is pretending she's dealing with super important stuff on her cellphone so she doesn't have to face anything that might make her uncomfortable.

Secondly, I'm not sure there's any sure-fire response to make her go away, while not hurting her feelings, or just getting yourself in deeper. If you tell her you're waiting for someone, yeah, it might work, but usually they want to know who, and do you want me to call her for you, and "well, while you're waiting I can give you a fun dance". It turns into a game of how fast you can think of dumb responses.

I think the best option might be something like this, which has worked for me in the past: "Yeah, tonight I'm kind of looking around for a black (or fill in the blanks) dancer". Nobody in particular, you just prefer black dancers. Nothing against you, I just like black chicks.

The "while you're waiting I'll give you a dance" response becomes useless, because she now knows you just ain't into her, you want some chocolate hunny. And the "who is she" goes away, cause there ain't anyone in particular you're looking for.

And it might even get you an ally to let the black dancers know there's a guy over there with a big boner for black chicks, you should stop by.

Certainly not foolproof, but it seems to work okay.
avatar for steve229
steve229
12 years ago
"If you tell her you're waiting for someone, yeah, it might work, but usually they want to know who,"

If she asks who I'm waiting for, I say I don't know her name, but she looks like Kate Upton. Then usually she says something like, "I don't know anyone like that here."

On the other hand, if she says, "Oh, I know who you mean, I'll go get her for you!" well, then I just scored!
avatar for mrrock
mrrock
12 years ago
I usually go with the "just chilling" or "I wanna check out all the other girls maybe later". If she comes back around again I just say "still not ready" and then I get the dances with the chic I like and leave after I'm done with VIP
avatar for jester214
jester214
12 years ago
"No thanks" if I know I never want a dance from her. "Maybe later" if I think maybe in the future.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
12 years ago
One of these will usually work. LOL.

1.No
2.I've decided to wait
3.I'll let you know later
4.How about a movie instead?
5.I'm not ready
6.It's getting late
7.I want my first time to be special
8.You're crazy
9.I want to be loved, not make love
10.I don't do sex
11.I don't love you
12.I have to go now
13.You're just using me
14.Rub my back instead
15.I can't support a child
16.I'm scared
17.This isn't what I had in mind
18.Not until we're married
19.I know your reputation!
20.Let's stop seeing each other for a while
21.If you loved me, you wouldn't ask
22.School comes before sex
23.We might get caught
24.Is that all you think about?
25.I'm allergic to sex
26.You'll tell everyone
27.I have a sunburn
28.It's not worth it.
29.Let me think about it
30.I'm waiting for the right person
31.It's against my religion
32.My parents would kill me
33.Let's get something to eat
34.I just want to be friends
35.I said "no" and I mean it!
36.We're too young
37.Don't ask me to make this choice
38.I don't feel comfortable
39.Sex can be more trouble than it's worth
40.With all these diseases going around?
41.Not everybody's doing it - I'm not
42.I just got my hair done
43.I don't like kids
44.I don't sleep around
45.Don't make me laugh
46.I think I hear my dad
47.We can find other ways to express our love
48.If I do, you'll leave me
49.I've got homework
50.My parents are waiting up
51.If we do it now, it could ruin it later
52.I don't know you well enough
53.I just want to hold you
54.I want you to leave
55.I'd rather watch the game
56.Have you thought about consequences?
57.I think my mother's calling
58.I don't want to
59.People will think I'm "easy"
60.Go away
61.I don't know who else you've slept with
62.I want to break up until you can wait
63.Maybe later
64.I love you too much to have sex
65.I'll find my own way to the door
66.Love isn't just about sex
67.It's not what I want to do
68.My favorite show's on now
69.I thought you were different
70.I quit last week
71.The coach said not to
72.I want to stay a virgin
73.I have to go to the bathroom
74.It's past my curfew
75.It's against my values
76.I'm too busy
77.I don't want to have kids now
78.Ask me again in 5 years
79.I want to have a career
80.You ignore me any other time
81.I don't want to get pregnant
82.Thanks anyway
83.I'm not ready to commit
84.Let's ask my parents
85.We won't respect each other
86.I have to get up early
87.I'm not sure you're the right person
88.Not tonight
89.I don't want that kind of pressure
90.My friends will be here any minute
91.I don't want our relationship to be just about sex
92.Let's wait
93.I'm not looking for this
94.I need more time
95.It might ruin our friendship
96.I want to stop now
97.Please respect my wishes
98.I'm afraid of HIV
99.I love someone else
100.I'd be sorry later
101.I want to know you better
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
12 years ago
LOL Shadow - again a classic!
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
12 years ago
paraphrase bro, paraphrase. half of that shit sounds like it just doesn't belong in the club
avatar for Stiletto25
Stiletto25
12 years ago
I agree with rh48hr.

Estafador- Not all of us are bitches. Some are, but not all
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
12 years ago
Number 60 from shadowcat.
avatar for smokeshopjoe
smokeshopjoe
12 years ago
Clearly some one copied and pasted from a abstinence website. cough shadowcat cough grumble, sorry allergies. Now I am not singling anyone out but if you dont site your sources thats plagiarism and my special lady friend will have to tell the vice principal.

I have a friend she is in her early thirties and she carries around a pamphlet from the late 80's early 90's that is one of those you shouldnt date older people kind of things. It is hilarious being in my thirties and seeing just how much the culture has changed since it was printed.
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
12 years ago
@smokeshopejoe I have no idea what your talking about.

I remember when one chick rolled up on me. I gave curt quick responses to her statements and when she asked for a dance I looked around her. Sje asked what I was doing and I said "no thanks, your ass is flat." She had a pretty appauled face when I said that and seemed like she wanted to say something but huffed and walked away. I think I pissed her off (and confused her) pretty bad. Must have been one of those "does this make my butt look big" kind of chicks. Talk about awkward
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
12 years ago
I am not going to behave like you Estafador, or like jerikson40 or jester214 or Dougster. LOL
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
12 years ago
It's possible to be truthful without being rude. "No, thank you" works in the vast majority of cases, even if not the very first time.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
12 years ago
LOL shadow.

@Estafador: Just look her in the eye and say, "No thank you." 49 times out of 50, that is enough to make her walk away.
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