This was posted by one of the regulars, sentiments I happen to agree with ------I heard a similar analysis from another fave just before she quit. She said that part of it is when you can find a guy who makes your shift more enjoyable that is always worth hanging on to, but that an extra bump in the take home pay makes it even better. Those she said are the customers every smart dancer cultivates. ------ I spent alot of time and $$$ with a girl who reciprocated her time and quality of her dances. The last time we were together we hung out in the champagne room and I was able to procure the use of a CD and she was able to dance to the kind of music that I liked. It was fabulous. Earlier in the night she asked me when were gonna do dinner again (the first time had been three months ago) and I mentioned how Mondays were great for me and they worked for her too. When I called a few days later to set sumpin up w/her she mentioned she couldn't go at that time because she was sunning at the Hard Rock pool that day with her fellow stripper friend (who also was her best friend). A few hours later I pretty much ended any future encounters with her through an e-mail (it was tasteful). If there was no chance for a future relationship and I am not married or unattractive (quite fit actually) what was the point of losing what was easy $$$ on her account? (The reason that was the straw that broke the camel's back from my end was I no longer was going to ask her out because I was tired of her rejections, since I had perceived her to be the one asking me out, with expectations that I was paying for everything anyways I felt my feelings were being trifled with)
all non-actionable opinions are worth hearing. I would hope I have an ability to extract what I need from someone who isn't afraid to cut right to the chase.
does it matter that we had been out before? I can be all naive and say I really thought it'd be different on this occasion since I had expressed to her my reluctance to ever ask her out again because of the denials. It isn't a stretch to say she dropped the hint of going out with the hope that I'd spend money on her later that night (which I did but they were largely unrelated) but damn if she was being that shallow couldn't she have come up with a better reason than sunning at the Hard Rock pool as a reason to decline dinner? I was more amused and disappointed than anything else.
For the upteenth time, would everyone please refrain from rewarding our resident troll by replying to his provocations? Let's keep this a discussion board and not a trash dump. Thank you.
Huge: Yes, I gathered that's what you were saying happened, but you jump around so much between that and how you THINK she should have acted it's hard to even tell how many girls you're talking about. I think AbbieNormal's first post is on the money. When you're hanging out at the club with a stripper, chatting idly about things you might do together sometime, don't base ANY hopes on that. It's not real. She doesn't expect to be called on her stripper shit, so it's pointless to even try. And never expect a stripper, indeed any woman, to act a certain way because it seems to be in her interest. Heaven knows why they act the way they do, but you can bet it ain't that.
first to davids it wasn't an angry e-mail, how you got angry e-mail from tasteful is beyond me. I did appreciate the rest of your thoughts.
Chandler--- to break it down succinctly we're at the club hanging out she proffers the opportunity to go out to dinner rather unsolicited and when I take her up on it I got what I thought was a really lame excuse (sunning at the pool right across the street from me to boot)
Abbie--- there was no chance for any relationship of a romantic nature OTC. It would've been strictly dinner, movie, show whatever. She even mentioned bringing her 2 YO along.
I also think that chandler is a frustrated, pissed off, bitter old man, who hangs around strip clubs b/c all his attempts at relationship w/ women in the real world have bombed. He is also still pining over that what's-her-face she had this gleem in her eye chick from 3 years ago.
She probably thought you were such a whipped pussy boy b/c of all the money you spent on her, and possibly your demeanour, that flaking out on a "date" would not be enough to lose your business.
Either stop spending money on strippers if you are looking for OTC relationships w/ them, or make it clear to them from that the start that you know all about stripper games and do not tolerate "flaking", and any other disrespect of yourself, your time, or your money. And when they do test this out to see if you are for real, you can't get mad at them by sending them angry e-mails. Instead just don't do business with them for a month or two, and then when you are back not how their behavior improves.
That's the basic algorithm for training strippers: Be clear what kinds of behavior you don't tolerate. When they test you to see if you are for real about this, don't get angry, but just "takeaway" your business for a time. Then do business again, and note the improvement in behaviour, until the next test. Repeat ad infinitium.
Being the guy that posted that I can tell you my thoughts. It was all about ITC and having a regular who took good care of you. I was friendly with a few regulars, and would have a drink or dinner with them after their shift, but I never tried to date them or take it OTC. I think that changes things quite a bit. My thought is that she doesn't want to lose a good customer (you) so she doesn't want to tell you OTC dating is out of the question, so she makes excuses and dodges. This is what we call stripper shit. You probably did the right thing breaking it off, but my opinion is that you probably were over-reaching trying to take it OTC. Just my opinion from what I know.
My thoughts are that you don't seem to have your story clear in your own mind, yet you assume that we can follow along. If this is how you communicate with strippers, it's no wonder that you get your signals crossed and assume you have an understanding when they don't. Sorry to be harsh, but you asked.
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No knowledge of Godel, he?
Only a quack that we see.
stripper sunning anyway
bemusement follows
cloudy on monday
stripper will still be sunning
bemusement follows
The first author of this thread
may hear who he wants.
Why he would decide
davids is worth hearing?
It is beyond me.
Two haikus, one post
Now it seems the count is three,
I must be stopped.
I believe you've summed it up.
Idiosyncratic? Yes
I apologize.
Chandler--- to break it down succinctly we're at the club hanging out she proffers the opportunity to go out to dinner rather unsolicited and when I take her up on it I got what I thought was a really lame excuse (sunning at the pool right across the street from me to boot)
Abbie--- there was no chance for any relationship of a romantic nature OTC. It would've been strictly dinner, movie, show whatever. She even mentioned bringing her 2 YO along.
Is there anyone who cares?
it does not seem so.
Either stop spending money on strippers if you are looking for OTC relationships w/ them, or make it clear to them from that the start that you know all about stripper games and do not tolerate "flaking", and any other disrespect of yourself, your time, or your money. And when they do test this out to see if you are for real, you can't get mad at them by sending them angry e-mails. Instead just don't do business with them for a month or two, and then when you are back not how their behavior improves.
That's the basic algorithm for training strippers: Be clear what kinds of behavior you don't tolerate. When they test you to see if you are for real about this, don't get angry, but just "takeaway" your business for a time. Then do business again, and note the improvement in behaviour, until the next test. Repeat ad infinitium.