What the hell is

While on routine patrol in the 400 block of Hill Street just past noon on Saturday, a LBPD[Laguna Beach CA] sergeant was flagged down by a couple who were concerned about a man in a vehicle with the windows rolled up.

They told him that they had heard moaning coming from the area of the parked car the night before. They were on their way to breakfast Saturday morning when they observed a man in the car and believed he might be deceased.

That didn't dissuade them from their breakfast plans, however. After returning they flagged down the officer and asked that he check on the man.

Captain Jason Kravetz said in an email, “The Sergeant contacted him and saw that he was soaking wet from sweat and also pale white. He said he had passed out in the vehicle the previous evening and was severely dehydrated.

“When asked to stand up, he was not able to, because he had a bag of ice on his groin and was suffering from a metal ring stuck on his penis.”

He added that he had taken a “Superman” form of Viagra and placed the 2” diameter metal ring on his penis three days ago. After engaging in intercourse, he was still unable to remove the ring, police said.

After three days of trying to remove the ring, he went to a friend's home in Laguna Beach for help.

Kravetz explained, “The man was in extreme pain and asked for medical assistance from LBFD. After the medics explained to him that the tourniquet like ring could permanently injure his penis if not drained, he insisted on trying to remove it himself. He was provided privacy and used a tube of lubricating jelly to successfully remove the ring.

“He was then able to drive himself to the hospital.”

Editor's Note: The ad says “after four hours – not four days…”