"Excuse me, sir, I believe that's my pussy."

21 comments

• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Shadowcat, it wasn't a list, it was an instruction manual just as Chandler indicates. Actually I barely remember it other than that it was written partly in jest and that I had fun writing it. And as I recall it wasn't just about how to treat customers, it addressed other issues too, like safety. Most of it was simple common sense that would apply to many kinds of customer service jobs, not just dancing. The problem is that many young dancers have never had any other job and they get virtually no training, so they don't know how to behave to maximize their income. It's always been my opinion that if a club did a little training for their girls, both the cub and the girls would make a lot more money. So my instructions were along the lines of a brief training course. Maybe if I get a chance I'll look for it one of these days, it might be good for some laughs.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  It starts out like this: "Congratulations on your acquisition of the FONDL Model 2006. Please carefully study this manual for the proper treatment of your FONDL. When used as directed, you will be rewarded with years of faithful patronage. Now let's get started.
  
  "First of all, if your FONDL ever gets dirty, wash in a solution of mild detergent and lukewarm water..." (and so on)
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Incidently, Chandler, I don't know if I mentioned it, but years later my ATF told me that she copied that pamphlet and gave a copy to all her friends at that club. So maybe the club owner owes me for the sucess of his club. Chitown, do I have a legal action here (lol).
  
  Also as I recall, that pamphlet was the birth of the name FONDL. For laughs (the pamphlet wan't entirely serious) I printed it on a letterhead with the heading Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL). And it was signed by Cosgrove C. Cosgrove, Executive Director, which is the name that shows up if you ever get an email from [email protected] - fictitious of course and I have no idea where that name comes from but I have a feeling I heard it somehwere, I don't think I originated it. I actually toyed with the idea of using that name in clubs but I don't think I ever did.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  FONDL: I thought you were going to say that you give inexperienced dancers a copy of your pamphlet. You really should print up a bunch of copies and just hand them out when it's appropriate. All regulars could write one up for how they like to be treated, sort of an operator's manual for care and feeding of your FONDL, etc.
• chitownlawyer

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  18 years ago

  I have somewhat contradictory views on this matter. On one hand, this conundrum shows why it is to one's advantage to be a regular at a club. At the club I have frequented for the last several months, I come in at fairly predictable times, and on each shift there is a dancer for whom I am, to some extent, a "regular." That means that, unless there is another "regular" in the house ( a relatively rare experience), the dancer comes to my table (nice), or sometimes to me as I am walking in (not so nice--I like a chance to sit down and get a drink). Therefore, everyone agrees that it is "my pussy."
  
  On the other hand, I also think that this is a reason to have broad tastes in dancers, especially when one is in a club that is unfamiliar, or that one visits infrequently. If you do not spend enough money on a regular basis to get "regular"status, you have to expect that other patrons may bounce you out of line. After all , to the dancer, your money is no more valuable than that of other customers, especially if they have (literally) "paid their dues. I think the best approach under these circumstances is to have an open mind, and to have enough flexibility to be willing to go to another dancer, as opposed to having a single dancer with whom you just have to spend time. After all, why go to a club if it has only one dancer in the house that you find attractive?
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Chandler, let me expand on my previous comments a little. About 10 years ago I met a dancer who was new to the area and didn't know anyone in this little club, and I started hanging out with her regularly. In fact she was my first regular. She was new to the area but she wasn't new to dancing, she had been a featured dancer in Massachusetts for many years. We had great times for a couple of months. But pretty soon she became very popular (she was gorgeous) and started jerking me around. (She's the main reason I avoid experienced dancers.)
  
  When she was busy, which often happened, I started spending time with a young (20) girl who had just started dancing. And I guess because I was older and probably a little more intelligent than most of the customers in this joint, she started asking me for advice. Eventually I wrote a very detailed pamphlet for her on how to be a successful dancer. Which included a section on how to treat customers so that they'd become regulars. And she started treating me that way. And spoiled me. Which is partly why she became my ATF.
  
  So now whenever I'm with a relatively inexperienced dancer I'll often give her advice on how to cultivate older regulars and be more successful. For example, I've found that a lot of dancers are very uncomfortrable when they have several regulars in the club at the same time. So I suggest ways to handle such situations. Which of course is how I want them to treat me. And a surprising number will do so. And if they don't, I move on.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Chandler, when I develop a favorite relationship I let her know in a very nice way how I expect to be treated inside the club when I'm paying for it. And if she doesn't do it she stops being my favorite fairly quickly. That still leaves a lot of room for her to be unreliable and spontaneous OTC, where I am much more tolerant. But the last favorite who I was willing to tolerate any BS from inside the club was my ATF, and that was 8 years ago. I have stricter standards when I'm a paying customer than when I'm playing the role of friend.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  "I'd expect her to excuse herself from the other guy, come over and say a quick hello, and give me a rough idea how long it's likely to be before she's available."
  
  FONDL, you have faves who actually do this and carry through on it? Isn't that at odds with your prediliction (which I share) for spontaneous, unreliable girls? I've had girls do this for me, and I just smile and say that's fine and think I'll believe it when I see it.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  I agree with AN, I would consider it rude to approach a girl who was with someone else. But if I'm her regular I'd expect her to excuse herself from the other guy, come over and say a quick hello, and give me a rough idea how long it's likely to be before she's available. And if she's with me and another regular comes in, I expect her to do the same with him. But if she sits down with him, I either look for another girl or leave.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Hmm, a thread-bumping phantom in our midst. Anyway...
  
  One night I got up from my table and the stripper I was with to tip another girl at the stage. (She was cool with it - I do it all the time.) When I came back, she had moved to the next table where this guy was buying her a shot. I didn't say, "Excuse me, sir, I believe..." I just let it go. She was too drunk for me already, and another "bus" was sure to stop by soon.
• RomanticLover

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  18 years ago

  Why not ask her for her PHONE NUMBER and spend time with her OUTSIDE THE CLUB?
• Jpac73

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  18 years ago

  I think parodyman is right to a certain extent. I think you can go up to a dancer while she is with another person and say excuse me to both the dancer and the customer and let her know you would like a dance later on when she isn't preoccupied. However I would advise to take size up the individual before you walk over there. If he looks like someone that would be easily pissed off I wouldn' do it. Just use your head.
• ShotDisc

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  18 years ago

  During my last visit to Bare Assets in Tarpon Springs, I waited almost 2 hours to spend time with a favorite. She was tipsy and was having a hard time breaking away from him. When he went to take a leak, I moved in and we went off to the private rooms for a great session.
• AbbieNormal

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  18 years ago

  Another reason I prefer days and early evenings, this rarely comes up. If I see a dancer who I want to get some dances with who is otherwise engaged I usually just wait till I can get her attention as she walks past or does a stage set. I doubt I'd want to actually go to another guy's table to do so since I wouldn't want another guy to do it if I was with a dancer, it just seems rude to me.
• SuperDude

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  18 years ago

  Sure. Go ask her or tip the waitress and send a message.
• parodyman-->

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  18 years ago

  Definately! I will walk up and let a girl who is sitting with other people know that I would like her to come and dance for me. I'm not too worried about what others think and I'm on my timetable not theirs. Why should I sit and wait? What does being timid ever get you?
• casualguy

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  18 years ago

  I could easily imagine if the movie scene was filmed in the South that the guy would come back, see someone sitting next to his date and say "who the hell are you?" right before he gives him a good right hook, then a left, then another before knocking him out. Then his date says "that was my brother! just saying hi." Then the guy says "oh, you should have said so."
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  The only times I ever approach a girl in a club is if (1) she's on stage or (2) she's seated alone at the bar.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  BTW, the quote comes from an Eddie Murphy stand-up bit in the voice of a square white guy. In a movie theatre, he returns from the popcorn concession to find that another dude has taken his seat next to his date.
• Yoda

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  18 years ago

  No, if she's with a customer leave her alone. If, OTOH, the guy leaves and you approach her it's really up to her what happens next.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Chandler, assuming that you aren't being facetious, and I realize that you most likely are, I lost that write-up a long time ago. I'm sure I have it saved somewhere but I have no idea where. And I only ever printed out the one copy that I gave away, as it's not exactly something that I want lying around in my files somewhere. But it would be a fun read, I'd probably disagree with half the stuff I said then. But I think it helped my ATF, she became one of the biggest earners in her club and I think it helped her do that.
  
  Chitown, I tend to agree with you. I have those mixed views as well. It's fun to walk into a club and have a cute girl come running over and treat you like you just made her day by walking in the door. But it's also fun sometimes to go somewhere where nobody knows you. I traveled enough that for a long time I could do both. And I totally agree about the flexibility, which is sometimes easier to say than to do. But I will never again trust a very experienced dancer. They've had too much experience at acting and lying. I'm happy to enjoy their company for an hour or two if no one my type is available, but that's as far as it's ever going to go for me. I will never again be a regular with an experienced dancer. Once was enough. I strongly prefer the amateurs to the pros.