Dances in Non-Club Settings

FONDL: If she knew how to give you a lapdance, you should be skeptical. That's something that can't easily be learned just from watching but only from experience. However, lapdancing has become so mainstream in recent years, any young party girl is liable to attempt it in a number of settings. At dance clubs sometimes, half the couples do something like a standing lapdance with the girl grinding her ass into the guy's crotch, reaching back over her shoulder to caress his hair. Even there, you can tell which ones are the strippers.

Chandler, if a girl ever started giving me a lapdance but claimed that she'd never been a stripper, I'd be somewhat skeptical. My ATF was at a club not long ago with a group of newer friends, none of whom knew she had been a stripper. She started dancing and one of the guys immediatley said to her, you used to be a stripper, didn't you. Old habits die hard.

FONDL: Lol, I would recommend not asking

I'd recommend boxing gloves. Or get a new ATF. duck

Shadow10: What you say makes perfect sense, but it wasn't a question of impatience. The lapdance began very impromptu and it was a good idea for about a minute. Then, it just seemed kind of silly to both of us to continue so we dropped it for something more natural. It wasn't a bad experience by any means. Rather funny and sweet. But it made me realize how important context is for me. For similar reasons, I don't necessarily like getting dances in a club in total or near total privacy. I'm definitely the odd one out in this group on that score. I keep trying to find common ground, at the risk of boring everybody. That sex thing that happens in the brain can be very contradictory, which I believe helps keep it interesting.

I have always hoped that my ATF would someday drink enough that she'd give me an LD outside the club. But I know if I ever asked she'd hit me. Any suggestions?

In any event, The Art of the Lap Dance is something to be relished as much as the final destination itself, whether it be in or out of the club.

If this happens for you on a date with a non-dancer, next time, take time to stop and smell the roses along the way. Its not something to be dispensed with so you can "get it on". She is trying to please you, as well as get into the moment herself. She is pretending to be someone she is not- the exotic dancer. A nasty girl. A stripper. Allow her this, and encourage her. You may well be rewarded by allowing her this fantasy. Cut her short and you cheat yourself.

Bear in mind that sex happens in the brain or it doesn't happen at all. your brain AND hers. Its a chemical thing. If she wants to warm up by stripping, by all means, let her!

Yoda, that's certainly the type of thing I'm talking about. I take it you don't share any of my feelings that lapdances seem "needlessly contrived" outside the club environment. I'm not knocking it. It's just that a lapdance, afterall, is a contrivance for packaging near-sex in a public club setting. It has been turned into something more - like an art form that allows women to be more sexually arousing in many ways than regular, free-form foreplay. I think they are one of the great things about these times we live in. Still, without bouncers and other people around to inhibit us, I feel like saying who are we kidding? Let's drop the pretense and Get It On!

Chandler: I'm up for a lap dance in just about any environment. As far as the "needlesly contrived" factor I think that depends on who's giving the dance. Some LDs are contrived even inside the strip club. A woman has to "sell" the dance regardless of weather it's for pay or for free-it's all about pleasure in either case.

Not sure if this counts but one of my favorite escort ladies was a stripper before and she starts every session with a very sexy striptease/lapdance. Just for the record, the last time I saw her she danced to Pink Floyd.

Sorry to get "testy" on you (to quote Al Gore, Dec. 2000). I blame it on all the thread hijacking going on lately. Shouldn't be a problem anymore, thanks to Founder.

Sorry, Chandler, I don't have any desire to do so. I wasn't much of a fan of most of the popular music in those days, most of it was pretty terrible, just like it is now. And to answer your question, I've never had an LD in a non-club setting. But I'm willing to try it.

Please chandler, you don't own this board. Get some control of other areas of your life and you may feel less of a need to try and be such a control freak here.

FONDL, if you want to discuss old rock 'n roll, please start another thread. Thanks.

chandler you really think about some stupid shit. You really ought to get a life.

The concert I'm referring to was in the mid-50s (I'm guessing the fall of 1954) in Harrisburg and was an all-star review featuring many of the top names of that era, but Fats was the headliner - he was at the top of his popularity then. I think Buddy Holly was also there.

Back to the topic: For example, some strippers have told me that when they do private dances OTC, they're actually lapdances just like at the club only a little better. Has anybody done this? It think it would seem odd to me.

I bet I'm the only person here who has a tape of the fat man in his car and listened to it within the last week. I bet I'm the only person here who has seen him live in concert.

FONDL,

Well, it wasn't Fats, but I did see Cheap Trick do their version of "Ain't That A Shame" live.

OMG, once you start complaining about the music the younger generation is listening to, you know YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING OLD.

I can dig Fats but how do you hump to Pat Boone. This makes me glad I was borm in a time with more interesting music.

Ain't that a shame. I'm walkin'.

Yeah, a dry hump was similar, however it never included the girl rubbing her buttcheeks back and forth on my lap. I guess the main part that feels contrived is that the girl takes the lead in a lapdance. Plus the fact that it's done to a song.