tuscl

Golden Opportunity?

likes2look
Witness Protection
Thursday, June 14, 2012 1:11 PM
I have been looking at buying a house lately as interest rates are so low. I came across this lovely 2 bed/ 2 bath Craftsman on a 1.3 acre lot. The best feature of the place, which the real estate listing shockingly fails to list, is that it is right next door to a strip club! I am talking less than 200 yards door to door. I was thinking that it might go for a reduced price because a lot of people don't want to live close to a strip club. And think of all the time and money a guy could save not needing to drive to the club. I could cancel my cable service too, who needs TV when there are naked girls next door. It might even be possible to rent the spare room to traveling dancers. Of course, I may also end up flat broke from spending all my time in the club. Also, there may be some additional exposure to the infamous 2am phenomenon. So what do you guys think about living next to the club?

19 comments

  • txtittyfan
    •
    12 years ago
    You would probably save on water. There will be so many people peeing on your lawn you won't have to water it.
  • shadowcat
    •
    12 years ago
    You could probably turn it into a crack house.
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    "Golden Opportunity?" For living close to a Strip Club & doing OTC with Dancers? A big YES!! LOL Buy remember the VERY true Real Estate saying, "Location, Location, Location". Think about property values. Remember this if you ever want to sell it. NOT everyone would like to live next to a Strip Club.
  • vincemichaels
    •
    12 years ago
    Well, go ahead and buy it. I'll rent it from ya if you don't live there. LOL
  • Club_Goer_Seattle
    •
    12 years ago
    Consider your options wisely. Having worked over 20 years in city planning, with most of that time in zoning, I can tell you that there are always complaints from residents when they live next to, or even near a commercial zone. There will be nights when you don't want to stay up until 2:00 a.m. when the club closes and deal with the traffic and noise until that hour. Some of the potential complaints mentioned by other can be a real nuisance. I sense that if you do buy this house, the first month it'll be a real thrill. After a month, the novelty will have worn off. By the third month, you'll have buyer's remorse.
  • shadowcat
    •
    12 years ago
    Damn Club_Goer. If you are gonna get praticle about it. He should check the club's books too. What if the club is about to go belly up? Then what? Somebody buys the building and turns it into a church. There goes the neighborhood. :)
  • motorhead
    •
    12 years ago
    "Also, there may be some additional exposure to the infamous 2am phenomenon" Ah, don't worry about. Get yourself a good pump action shotgun, a Glock 17, and a Kevlar vest. Stop those 2 AMers before they happen. You'll probably be a hero and you'll get free pussy - unless, one of those potentials happens to a boyfriend.
  • Alucard
    •
    12 years ago
    Buying a house is NOT a joking matter. :)
  • ButterMan
    •
    12 years ago
    ld like the idea of not having to drive home drunk. But as far as the OTC chances, dancers try to be so discret about that sometimes I don't know if they would want people at the club to see there car park down the street at your house after hours. Sometihing to think about.
  • umissedaspot
    •
    12 years ago
    Maybe if you picket the club to get it closed, you could then sell the house for a nice profit.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    12 years ago
    If it has an extra room, you could rent it by the hour to strip club patrons who need some time to, uh, wind down after a strenuous afternoon/evening/night of clubbing.
  • Club_Goer_Seattle
    •
    12 years ago
    @ Shadowcat: Id rather live next to a strip club than a church. You should've heard the complaints that my department got from people living next to, or near some churches. They're not the peaceful, serene, pastoral setting you might think they are when living close to one!
  • gatorfan
    •
    12 years ago
    Buy the strip club and make it a duplex
  • jackslash
    •
    12 years ago
    Wow! Next door to a strip club! You could hang out at the club every day and never have to worry about getting a DUI. OTC would be easy. I can't think of any drawbacks.
  • SuperDude
    •
    12 years ago
    When you sell it at a profit, you will be helping to kill the legal fiction that SCs lower residential property values. So much for the secondary effects test.
  • Clubber
    •
    12 years ago
    likes, You HAVE to keep us updated on this one!
  • thesamurai
    •
    12 years ago
    Buy the house and start a new career as a pimp/landlord. Rent out the rooms to the menu girls at the club, pay off the fuzz, and sit back and watch that cash flow come in. What a brilliant idea! I can't believe nobody has ever thought of or tried this before!!
  • MissionaryMan
    •
    12 years ago
    I'd rathter have a friend that owns a house next to a strip club, than own it myself. If you buy it, can I be your friend.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    12 years ago
    “Buy the house and start a new career as a pimp/landlord.” “What a brilliant idea! I can't believe nobody has ever thought of or tried this before!!” Wouldn’t this brilliant idea also be an illegal idea? :)
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion