Now you know.
shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
The best study ever
"Even a kid-phobic bachelor is more likely to respond when your baby maker is looking for a mate."
Geniuses at the University of New Mexico wanted to find out if a women's menstrual cycle had any financial consequences, so they diligently studied the books at a strip club to get the facts. What they found was that a dancer was likely to average a whopping $70 an hour during her peak fertile time of the month – a far cry from the dismal $35 an hour she'll make during her period.
The findings proved that even subtle or unconscious fertility signals can really add up to increased male attention. Changes in body odor, skin tone and waist-to-hip ratio are just a few of the microscopic shifts that men can unwittingly detect. Most women also admit their sex drive increases during ovulation, which means you may be more likely to dress provocatively and have the courage to make the first move.
A tough pill to swallow
What does this mean for the estimated 63 percent of women on the pill? The news is not good. Since the pill by design produces early pregnancy hormones, bachelors looking to spread their seed will suspect you're already spoken for and move on. According to the study, dancers on the pill averaged $37 an hour with no peak versus $53 an hour for dancers who use non-hormonal forms of birth control.
Learning from our cavewoman roots
How can we put this scientifically brilliant data to use? Even if you're not looking to start a family, you can still watch your cycle closely and use it to your advantage. If you're in the adult service industry, chart your periods or take over-the-counter ovulation tests and double up your shifts during peak fertility times. If you're just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love you, maybe don't ask while Aunt Flow's in town.
Other signs of ovulation:
Increased sex drive
Clearer complexion
Increased cervical mucus
Dip in basal body temperature
FH surge detected by ovulation predictor kits
Swollen vulva
Increased energy levels
Heightened sense of taste, vision and smell
Breast tenderness due to increase in progesterone
Things to do while you're in the unfertile valley:
•Take your dull complexion and unfavorable pheromones out of the club and onto your best friend's couch for a girls' night.
•Go see Magic Mike and marvel at the male strippers who are constantly fertile and therefore would probably do well in the scientific study. Also, Channing Tatum.
•Your energy levels are most likely pretty low during this time, so treat yourself to a spa day and extract some of those hormone-related pimples while you're at it.
•If you can muster up the energy, take your menstruating butt to the gym. Keep it up the next two weeks and you can add more muscle tone to the list of reasons why you're going to score during ovulation.
"Even a kid-phobic bachelor is more likely to respond when your baby maker is looking for a mate."
Geniuses at the University of New Mexico wanted to find out if a women's menstrual cycle had any financial consequences, so they diligently studied the books at a strip club to get the facts. What they found was that a dancer was likely to average a whopping $70 an hour during her peak fertile time of the month – a far cry from the dismal $35 an hour she'll make during her period.
The findings proved that even subtle or unconscious fertility signals can really add up to increased male attention. Changes in body odor, skin tone and waist-to-hip ratio are just a few of the microscopic shifts that men can unwittingly detect. Most women also admit their sex drive increases during ovulation, which means you may be more likely to dress provocatively and have the courage to make the first move.
A tough pill to swallow
What does this mean for the estimated 63 percent of women on the pill? The news is not good. Since the pill by design produces early pregnancy hormones, bachelors looking to spread their seed will suspect you're already spoken for and move on. According to the study, dancers on the pill averaged $37 an hour with no peak versus $53 an hour for dancers who use non-hormonal forms of birth control.
Learning from our cavewoman roots
How can we put this scientifically brilliant data to use? Even if you're not looking to start a family, you can still watch your cycle closely and use it to your advantage. If you're in the adult service industry, chart your periods or take over-the-counter ovulation tests and double up your shifts during peak fertility times. If you're just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love you, maybe don't ask while Aunt Flow's in town.
Other signs of ovulation:
Increased sex drive
Clearer complexion
Increased cervical mucus
Dip in basal body temperature
FH surge detected by ovulation predictor kits
Swollen vulva
Increased energy levels
Heightened sense of taste, vision and smell
Breast tenderness due to increase in progesterone
Things to do while you're in the unfertile valley:
•Take your dull complexion and unfavorable pheromones out of the club and onto your best friend's couch for a girls' night.
•Go see Magic Mike and marvel at the male strippers who are constantly fertile and therefore would probably do well in the scientific study. Also, Channing Tatum.
•Your energy levels are most likely pretty low during this time, so treat yourself to a spa day and extract some of those hormone-related pimples while you're at it.
•If you can muster up the energy, take your menstruating butt to the gym. Keep it up the next two weeks and you can add more muscle tone to the list of reasons why you're going to score during ovulation.
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7 comments
It confirms my personal observations that the average dancer gives about 3 dances per hour. The other 50 minutes are spent in hustling, conversation, drinking with customers, stage sets, and bathroom/rest breaks.
I have always suspected the $1000 per night claims were exaggerations to get me to pony up more money.
But this is not a everyday occurance.
And usually FS comes with the money.
Also, remember that average means...average. So maybe she will make a couple hundred in one hour and a lot less at other times.
So old news blokes.