Would being unusually

22 comments

• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  I'm grumpy sometimes, and flirtacious ugly girls at work are often interrupting me when I'm trying to concentrate, by flinging into my office something manipulative and passive-aggressive like, "Smile! It can't be THAT bad!" when the only reason I was frowning was that I couldn't decide whether to use Arial 12 or Times New Roman 10 ... If it were hot little strippers, I'd say, "Sit it my lap, little girl, and you might be able to make me happy." But it's always some fat slag with a moustache ...
• hugevladfan

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  18 years ago

  Winter blues: The clinical name I believe your referring to is seasonal affective disorder. I am skeptical that there is such a tangible thing.
• hugevladfan

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  18 years ago

  One of my coworkers today described me as being dark and dreary today and I juss told her to lose the dreary part. I doubt tho she knows the depth of my dark feelings (again have you seen what is happenin in the world) nor have I shared with her some of my innermost thoughts (which would confirm everything she said). I added lose the dreary because if that were the case I wouldn't be able to leave the house everyday).
• hugevladfan

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  18 years ago

  There is a difference between brooding and depression. The reason that depression scares me some is because the ease in which drugs are provided to combat it (I am very pro-drug use, juss not for me). The thing is I think I feel everything and am glad to be able to. Several faves I hung out with last night pointed out they can tell I was in a funk the last coupla times they saw me (have you read about what's going on in the world?) and last night I was in the same place but somehow for a few hours the two girls were able to lift me a bit. Of course I barely shared with these two juss how brooding I can be nor did I spend enough time in conversation with them to give that impression. That said I am upfront with the way I am feeling and the best is when they ask me am I ready to have a good time and I can answer it and say if you can show me a good time...........
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Well, in my case, I'm subject to wild mood swings, which, of course. includes brief feelings of depression. I learn not to wallow too much in the highs or lows for fear it will heighten the yoyo effect. And I know that however bad or good I feel, it won't be long before I can count on returning to normal or feeling the opposite. In fact, there have been times when I felt crummy all day long but decided to go out, sometimes to a strip club, knowing that by the time I got there, I'd be coming out of my funk.
• Book Guy

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  18 years ago

  I'm depressed too. And I lose jobs over it too. Are we TUSCL denizens all of a kind?
• Golfer99

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  18 years ago

  I was in a classy, no touch, upscale place about 15 years ago with 3 guys. One of the guys is a bad drunk. After about an hour we banned him to another table about 10 feet away. He's that alcoholic parents, bad marriage, bad job, depressed type when he's drunk. He's at a table sitting with what looks like a hot 20 year old blonde having a club and soulful conversation for about 30 minutes. IN about 10 more minutes the bouncer (who had previously told us that he had just won the South Carolina Golden Glovers Middleweight Division) comes to our talbe and tell us that we and our friend are no longer welcome at the club. Which happens to be the only one in town lol We asked why, we were behaving, tipping, buying drinks, dressed, nicely, on our frist day of 7 in town. He says your friend was soliciting one of our dancers. We say which friend, he points to the guys who is now joining us. I take the bouncer asisde and tell him that we will behave, slip him a $20 and all is well. I ask the friend what the deal is, he says well we talked she had an alcoholic family, drug mom, husband beat her, lost like me and we hit it off really good. I said so what happened. He said, I told her why don't we just leave this place and go fuck lol
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Chandler, I've found a lot of strippers to be quite sensitive to guys with depression, perhaps because they've experienced it too. I didn't set out with the intention of hanging out in a strip club, I just found it to be a very accomodating and welcoming place. By contrast, when I tried to talke to my boss about it I ended up getting fired. In any event, I found out that talking about it was a major part of the cure. I'd alway tried to hide it in the past, which I discovered is a huge mistake.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  FONDL: Sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive. I wouldn't know how to compare, but I feel pretty depressed at times. When I'm unable to shake it off, even by superficially masking it, I stay away from strip clubs and other social settings. I'm not saying that guys who have a harder time with it need to always stay home. Only that if they do go out they should expect their options to be curtailed somewhat. And I believe the really extreme cases that will burden a young stripper with their self-pitying histrionics without responding to her attempts to sympathize often deserve to be cut loose.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Chandler, it sounds to me like you've never suffered from severe depression, if so consider yourself fortunate. I've gotten it nearly every winter since I was little - I used to call it my winter blues but now there's some fancy name for it. But it went away in the spring. Only one spring about 10 years ago it didn't, it got worse. In response I started making a lot of changes in my life. I started working out every day and being really careful about my weight, both of which I still do. I started taking my vacations in the winter and heading south, which I still do. I started writing poetry about my feelings. And I started going to a strip club regularly to combat the overwhelming sense of lonliness I was feeling. And I ultimately met my ATF there, who also suffers from depression. We helped each other a great deal and still do. I haven't had a severe attack since I met her. I've seen a lot of depressed people in strip clubs, both customers and dancers. And I'm sure that they all wish they could "check their depression at the door" which is probably what they're trying to do and why they're there in the first place. I think depression is a major reason why drug use is so prevalent among strippers.
• hugevladfan

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  18 years ago

  Is that possible Chandler, sure? I did tell her I was fond of her which she knew and expressed myself in a way that she knew I was into her. I am curious what ultimately led to the divesture BUT I really could be making more of it than is there. After all I was the one that told her I wasn't coming around to see her anymore after I felt enough was enough w/ the runaround.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Huge: It might have been in another thread that I noticed you said you never even hinted that you were interested in sex, so it wasn't that that caused her to pull back. One of the common threads I've heard from strippers who were creeped out by saddo customers was that the guy would start out acting conspiciously uninterested in her sexually, then inevitably wind up begging her for it. Could it be that she senses you are bottling up your desire? She might feel more comfortable if you lightened up a little about expressing a natural urge. You know what they say about watching out for the quiet ones.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  I think customers who are suffering from depression are very common in strip clubs, especially older men who come in alone. I went through a bout of depression about 10 years ago and that's when I started going to clubs regularly. Girls who can't or don't want to deal with that are in the wrong business.
• hugevladfan

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  18 years ago

  I never cried about myself per se but it wouldn't be a stretch to say I was a downer. This girl actually saw me at the height of my misery. (I described it to friends as the most pain I've ever endured)
• Golfer99

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  18 years ago

  I think it depends upon the girl. Some would view you as an easy mark for a few dances and take advantage. Others might see you as someone who could use a friend and someone they might feel safe with talking to and sitting with having a drink and passing the time with, maybe even cheering up if the club isnt busy. Sometimes we forget that these girls / women are a real cross section of society. You have some really nice ones, bitches, and every other type that you can name probably much like all of us on this board. Admitted the % in the problem type in the clubs is much higher but good ones do exist.
• casualguy

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  18 years ago

  I've only had a total of 5 or 6 hours of sleep for the past two nights so I looked up the word brooding on google. I found "To sit on and cover eggs, as a fowl, for the purpose of warming them and hatching the young" I thought that was funny. I found the correct definition in there somewhere about dwelling on a subject. Everyone may have bad nights and may be depressed at times. Just wait for another stripper to come along and cheer you up. I could entertain a lot of people if I talked about all kinds of bizarre stories but sometimes you want to be ordinary and blend in with the crowd.
• hugevladfan

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  18 years ago

  it wasn't the money clubber since the last time we hung out (on her birthday) in a club we went into the Champagne room and she had done the best she had up until that point.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Huge: That's kind of an odd way of putting it. Usually, it's the customer who loses interest. For the stripper, your pesonality isn't what sparks her interest, so it shouldn't cause her to lose interest. However, I've heard strippers say they stopped dancing for good, generous customers because they were such a downer. All they wanted to do was cry about themselves. Short of that bad a basket case, yes, constant brooding could be a turnoff. If it persists after her attempts to console, it could grow tiresome for a woman, given that mothering thing that means so much to them.
• FONDL

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  18 years ago

  Whenever I've been with a dancer who I knew well and she started talking about other customers, it was almost always about them as people, rarely about how much money they did or didn't give her. I remember once not too long ago I went to see my most recent fave and she was sitting at the bar with a customer. They sat and talked for a fairly long time while he had lunch, then he left without giving her any money. I asked her if that bothered her and she said no because he was a nice guy and she enjoyed talking to him. IME a lot of dancers take a fairly philosophical view of the money, figuring that it doesn't matter how much they make from a given customer or on a given evening, it all averages out to a nice income. Or maybe I just seek out girls with that type of attitude, but it never seems hard to find.
• AbbieNormal

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  18 years ago

  Yep. They are in it for the money, but other factors will come into play. Who wants to sit with and try to entertain someone who is always brooding? MY first few visits to clubs were after a breakup when I was in an "I hate women" mood. My brooding got me nowhere even though I tipped well. When I started to smile along with the tipping then I got some more positive attention.
• Clubber

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  18 years ago

  I'll generalize here, but most strippers are only interested in money. You, they could not care less other than you're being an ATM. Also, alcoholic consumption generally increases cash flow. Therefore, my answer is no. What likely caused it was lack of cash flow when you are not drinking and not talking.
• chandler

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  18 years ago

  Oh, please! Customers who can't check their depression at the door should expect to have a limited choice of girls. If they aren't satisfied with that, options include finding a sympathetic bartender or staying home. Why shouldn't listening to sob stories remain a specialty? I'm damn glad it's not a requirement, which would exclude some of my favorite strippers.