tuscl

Realm Of The Rimshot G-String

Friday, August 4, 2006 9:28 AM
Here's a couple to get it started: Three guys walk into a stripper bar, a dentist, a lawyer and a banker. The stripper walks out and starts shaking her butt in the dentist's face. He takes a twenty from his wallet, licks it, and slaps it on her right butt cheek. Then the stripper goes to the lawyer and shakes her butt in his face. He takes out a twenty, licks it, and slaps it on her left butt cheek. Finally, the stripper goes to the banker and shakes her butt in his face. He sits there and thinks for a minute, then he grabs his wallet, takes out his atm card, swipes it down the crack of her butt and takes both twenties. .............................. A stripper in a hurry to get home leaves the club with nothing on but a loose coat. As she crosses the street, a drunk driver skids around the corner and hits the stripper sending her flying into the air, and landing unconscious on her back with her charms exposed to the world. As a crowd gathers, a gentleman places his hat upon the stripper's crotch in order to minimize her exposure. In the meantime, the drunk driver hardly aware he just hit someone, staggers over to see what all the fuss is about. Noticing the near-naked woman lying exposed on the street, he points to the strategically placed hat and slurs in a loud voice, "Well, the first thing we gotta do is get that guy outta there!" Happy hunting, DG

11 comments

  • DailyGrind
    •
    18 years ago
    A hot half-dressed stripper gets pulled over for speeding. The cop asks for her license and registration. "Just a minute", sighs the stripper as she bends over and digs them out of the glove compartment. When she sits up and turns to give them to the smiling cop, she sees his pants down and his hard cock waiting outside the window. Frustrated, she says, "Oh great. Not another breathalyzer test". ...................................... What's the difference between a stripper having her period and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist. DG
  • DailyGrind
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    18 years ago
    What amused me most is the dude's public admission of motive. I doubt he'll show the same selfless devotion to his new fudge-packing ATFs. DG
  • DailyGrind
    •
    18 years ago
    What's 6 inches long, has a bald head, and drives strippers crazy? A $100 bill. DG
  • DailyGrind
    •
    18 years ago
    Two strippers are in a dark PD room: Stripper #1: "Hey, the guy next to me is jerking off!" Stripper #2: "Just ignore him." Stripper #1: "I can't. He's using my hand." ............................................................. A stripper walked into a hardware store, picked up the hinges she was looking for, and went to go pay for them. The clerk asked her, "Need a screw for those hinges?" "No, but how about a blow job for the shovel in the back?" DG
  • DailyGrind
    •
    18 years ago
    Two strippers are giving head to a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?" DG
  • DailyGrind
    •
    18 years ago
    A group of retirees were reliving old times at a local stripbar. After spending $500 in the VIP, Meierwitz clutches his chest and drops dead on his way back to the table. Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna' tell his wife?" They draw straws. Goldberg picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me." Goldberg goes over to the Meierwitz apartment, knocks on the door. The wife answers and asks what he wants. Goldberg declares, "Your husband just spent $500 on a stripper, and is afraid to come home." "Tell him to drop dead!" says the wife. "I'll go tell him." says Goldberg. DG
  • casualguy
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    18 years ago
    Those are good ones.
  • chandler
    •
    18 years ago
    From the desk of real life observations, somebody posted this today on a local SC board I also follow: "I was driving past the Ypsilanti Deja Vu this afternoon during work and saw a truck for "Xtreme Upholstery Cleaners" parked out front. I was laughing so hard when I pulled up to the stop sign that the guy crossing the street looked at me like I was nuts. Just thought I'd share"
  • DailyGrind
    •
    18 years ago
    Bob works long hours at the factory. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" Bob’s wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and asks how the waitress knows what he wanted. "I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club." A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She’s screaming at him, cursing him out. As Bob tries his best to calm her down, the cabby turns around and says, "Geez, Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time." DG
  • Book Guy
    •
    18 years ago
    The pig thief should have been sentenced to ten years in math class.
  • DailyGrind
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    18 years ago
    In The News: A Wisconsin man was arrested for stealing $100,000 worth of farm pigs to pay for breast implants for his favorite stripper at a local club. He was sentenced to ten years in prison. ................................. A stripper went to the emergency room with the tip of her index finger blown off. "How did this happen?", the doctor asked. "Well I was trying to commit suicide", she replied. "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?" "No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, I just paid $6,000 for these, so I put it in my mouth and I thought, I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed. So then I put the gun to my ear and I thought, this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger." DG
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