The Flip Side 2nd try

9/8/2011 11:04:18 PM

This could have been an extension of JasonTminus' topic of trusting Strippers look at the other side for a moment. My guess is that the rule among dancers is very concrete : Don't ever trust a customer beyond the door to the club. Note the rule says nothing about OTC - it's about trusting - or not.

There is a certain cross current in this type of dancing. On the one hand it can afford a measure of financial support but the symbolic nature of the service creates a dichotomy between intimacy and physical gratification (the cusotmer) and for the most part feigned intimacy and mercenary gratification (the dancers) on the other.

Toss in a theme that I have heard forever: "I have been screwed over so many times that I will NEVER trust anyone again!" and you have a powerful series of past events operating on the dancers that most probably the customers don't get and the dancer won't truly reveal as that would require some level of trust(and probably some pain). Trust is derivative of experience. You can't get some at a company workshop on teambuilding. It happens based on what one person does to another over time. And once lost generally it is a long time before you see it again. Maybe never.
JT- no offense to you but don't you see a certain lack of candor in the approach you describe. Yes there are parts of the process that a very straight-forward but what about the dance before leaving? That doesn't sound as transparent as other parts.

The main point is if Trust is derived over time, a one shot strategy may be productive of results but not trust and That is what turns the discussion on its head: Should a dancer trust a customer. As far as this long-time customer goes (at least for himself) "Hell, No!" If dancers trust me without knowing me then they risk much and gain little in terms of what I may or may not have to offer. Trust without experience is like skydiving without a chute.

And JT-, thanks for a great topic and some insight.

9 comments

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Stiletto25

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13 years ago

I leave who I trust up to my better judgement. I'm a trusting person by nature. Dancing has definetly made me trust less but it hasn't broken me. I, of course, don't necessarily trust customers but, depending on the look in their eye or the vibe they give off, I can make pretty accurate judgements about them.
Example- A customer says "Let me go get the rest of the money from the Atm up the street that doesn't charge a surcharge. I'll be right back". The fact is that I can't trust him or anyone for that matter in the club when they say that. However, based on my experiences with him and with those customers that have similar traits as him, I can make an almost always accurate guess as to how he will behave.

I will also add that there are many trustworthy men that enter the stripclub. Unfortunately they dont leave that way. By the time they meet me, they have been ripped off, cheated, and put down by a number of girls, who no doubt have had the same thing happen to them by horrible customers. It's a cycle and everyday another one gets pulled in. Dancers like me have to fight for respect and trustworthy customers have to swim through all the jaded girls to find a good dancer and some just don't make it.

Alucard

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13 years ago

Well if we customers treat Dancers like Sex objects that only consist of a Pussy & Mouth, well then there isn't going to be any trust ever built from their side of the equation. I always try to treat Dancers with politeness & courtesy - The Golden Rule - unless their BAD behavior towards me indicates otherwise. I've, over the years, run into any number of badly behaving Dancers like those mentioned by Stiletto25 above. Those Dancers NEVER get another Penny or moment of attention from me again. Those Predators are left "Out in the COLD" by me! I work at trying to cultivate some type of a basic friendly relationship with those Dancers that seem to want to be friendly with me. If some rudimentary trust seems to be starting to grow with one of these Dancers I try to encourage it. Ideally a Dancer like this my become an ATF. It is hard to find these Diamonds, but I feel that the end result is worth the time & effort.

Doc_Holliday

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13 years ago

I think the finding the diamonds amongst the broken glass is part of the attraction I have to strip clubs. That and my crusade to make it legitimate show business!

Rlionheart

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13 years ago

Bravo on the crusade Doc H - If society would stop wasting money on many forms of vise activity such as enforcement on all forms of gambling, drugs, sex trade, and manage them to a certain minimum standard, You'd get better quality, reduced criminal influence, better conditions and enough extra tax revenue to eliminate the national debt and buy China lock, stock and barrel.

komerica

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13 years ago

If they taxed sex and gambling, we could buy the world.

gatorfan

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13 years ago

You want strippers collecting sales tax?

inno123

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13 years ago

It's just not an environment that engenderes trust at all, everybody is trying to get something out of everybody else. Its just starting out two steps behind and on the wrong foot. Even if a certain degree of trust eventually develops they will always be the person you met at a strip club.

mmdv26

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13 years ago

Aside from the dancer doing something similar to what others in the same club could do, you are not sure exactly what you are going to get. The dancer knows that she will receive a minimum amount of valid currency, or you will be visiting the bouncer; but you have no similar enforcement tool. The customer is expected to rely heavily on trust in advance.

mjx01

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13 years ago

Stiletto25, my thoughs exactly!

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