Whaled!!

I agree that whaling is primarily a time issue, occupying a girl for an extended period of time. But usually it also involves money, especially if the club is at all busy. How many dancers are going to ignore good paying customers to sit with someone who isn't going to give them a fair amount of money? So usually the time and the money go together. I know that in my case the amount of money that I spend on a girl will almost always be proportional to the amount of time she spends with me.

AN: Whale glossary definition duly submitted and accepted. I get your point; you & I are on different wavelengths, with you trying to create a SC conformal model of the ultimate Las Vegas "Casino Whale", while I am merely attempting to convey a term that most SCers could universally understand... and relate to. Such terminology isn't always technically correct, or scientifically rigorous. Everyone has probably been "Whaled" at one time or another. Outside the SC arena, we've all been faced with long restaurant waits, and dealt with it 1 way or another.. patiently wait our turn, steam&stew while waiting, or just press on and go someplace else.

Using MY definition of Whaling (occupying a dancer for a long period of time), as I've stated before, I am an offender.

My ideal visit is spending a lot of time with the girl of my choice, and I know that I ruffle some feathers doing it. At the same time, I AM conscious of what I am doing at the time it happens - even feeling a bit guilty.

I'm surprised we don't here of a lot of violence associated with guys that are upset by Whale's hogging the best girl(s). There are a lot of unbalanced people out ther, combine that with alcohol and sprinkle in some festering jealousy and it seems like it could be volitile.

Last night for instance, I found myself in an unfamiliar and potentially roudy club, hogging the hottest girl in the club for several hours. I felt the eyes on me, from guys that are probably used to her spending that time with them.

Hmm... perhaps that's another topic for discussion... Clubbing safety.

I also think it's very dangerous for a girl to take too much money from a customer. Anyone who is dropping major bucks on a girl on a regular basis is eventually going to feel entitled to get something in return. Especially if he's spending more than he can afford, which is almost always the case. IMO anyone who can afford to give a dancer $1,000 a week or more is likely to be too intelligent to do so.

Chitown, based on your research I think you have to give your dancer a pass on not making time for you. If Moby is worth $400 plus tips to her and, as it sounds from the manager and other dancers, his ego is heavily invested in being the pimp with all the girls she probably correctly surmised that you'd be able to get over her not being available one night on an impromptu visit while Moby, who is worth $800 a week to her, would not be able to handle it.

If you also recall the thread on liking their jobs I'd venture that based on what other dancers and the manager have said this is a particular kind of customer I mentioned, the generous asshole.

I was whaled once about 10 years ago. I had been a regular of a dancer for several months, then some guy fell in love with her and everytime she was sheduled to work he'd be there taking up all of her time and chasing away her other customers. It turned into a bad scene with lots of drama, which is why I won't ever be a part of anything like that again, and why my views are what they are.

She ultimately quit dancing and told him a big story about moving out of the area, which I found out wasn't true. I felt sorry for him because he was clearly spending more than he could afford. It worked out well for me though because it led directly to my finding my ATF.

In my opinion many whales are spending much more than they can afford, which makes the situation dangerous. Smart dancers won't allow any one customer to be a big part of their income, they'll work hard to keep their other regulars from getting squeezed out. Which is, of course, what any whale who comes in all the time is trying to do. He wants his dancers to become dependent on him and he wants to chase away the rest of her customers.

Chitown, having been there, my advice to you is to stay away from this situation, or at least avoid going to the club when he's there. Or you might want to get to know him because sooner or later he's going to need a lawyer. (LOL)

Too bad the term "whaled" has now quite appropriately been taken by large bluto customers getting in our way. What would you call large female customers getting up on stage and taking over my eye-candy space with their whale-like bellies and breasts blubbering all over the place? Or large female dancers doing the same?

I call it Day Shift.

Sometimes, it can work to your advantage for your favorite to have another bigger spending regular. The girl I posted about spending five hours with in the 'Longest time with one stripper' thread had a sugar daddy (as she called him) who worked in the state treasury office. When he was at the club, I could forget about seeing her except from a distance. However, on nights when he wasn't there, she didn't feel a need to hustle too much. She would just hang out with me and cuddle, get backrubs, and occasionally do a lap dance.

Once her sugar daddy finally lost interest (i.e., once he realized she'd never sleep with him), she had a tough time adjusting, bearing out what FONDL says about smarter dancers.

For me, a strip club visit with no drama is no fun. I need some adventure. What I don't care for is false drama or melodrama.

I don't begrudge the kind of sharing arrangement some of you describe, but I wouldn't want to be on either end of it. When I'm in a strip club, I'm not into sharing. I want it all for myself. So, if I'm with a girl and she asks if she can go do a dance for some other guy, I tell her fine, but I won't save a spot for her. If she finishes with him, and I'm still free, she's welcome back. She's welcome anytime for that matter. But I'm not gonna wait for her. There's no telling whether her guy is gonna just get a dance or decide to keep her going all night. So, I'll go ahead and let another chick join me if I like what I see. There's a bit of real drama in my approach, but there doesn't have to be melodrama.

Shadow: You'll tell Alicia what? (Your turn to explain what you mean.) Wasn't it you who told me she was a lesbian? I don't recall her saying anything.

I went back to the club in question this evening. The dancer I have written about was not there, nor did I expect her to be (she is not normally scheduled for the day and time I was in the club). The timing of my visit was based solely on my own availability and convenience; it had nothing to do with the "whale" incident, one way or another.

I did get in a conversation with the manager, whom I know relatively well, about Mr. Whale. I was mostlly interested in knowing what is costs to get that status. Manager told me that Whale comes in the club twice or three times a week, and drops 2-3K each visit. He works with his father in a successful business that the father owns, but the son (who appears to be in his late thirties or early forties) obviously shares in the prosperity. The manager was disdainful of whale, as he felt that whale exploits his father's money. I don't know if the manager was expressing that view for my benefit, but if so, the disdain was wasted on me. If I was in Whale's position, I'd go for the gusto, too. In the words of Zero Mostel in the movie version of The Producers, " If you've got it, flaunt it, baby, flaunt it." I'm not big into envying other people's good fortune, however derived.

I asked Manager if Whale gets comped cover, breaks on drink prices, etc., and other favorable treatment by the club. He said no, most of Whale's money goes to the girls, not to the club, so the club really isn't into treating him better than any other customer. The only time that the club really does better on him than on any other customer is if Whale buys an entire bottle of an adult beverage. Manager gave the example of a bottle of Grey Goose vodka: for a bottle that would get $20 at a retail grocery/liquor store, club gets $350.

I got dances from a young, lovely dancer who I have patronized in the past. She told me that Whale comes in a couple of times a week, and generally gives each girl he spends time with $400-500, although occasionally he may only give each girl as little as $100. She is only infrequently part of the "inner circle" requested by this customer, and there is a great deal of competition among the dancers to be in this role. My favorite dancer at this club is unique in that she is the only dancer who is ALWAYS part of whale's harem. Whale will frequently tip $200-300 at the stage. He is unique in terms of the amount of money he spends at the club. She thinks his spending is a matter of ego; she said, "He wants to look like a pimp."

There you have the results of my research. I typically spend between two and three hundred dollars per club visit, about once a week. Whale spends ten times that. Frankly, if I was interested in spending that amount of money on a woman on the side, I would work out a little OTC arrangement. Hell, for what that guy spends in a week, you could support a girlfriend, pay for all her living expenses, and essentially have her on call. But that wouldn't address the ego issues that are apparently involved here. In any event, I have to agree with Chandler that, if this is the cost of being in that league, I'm not interested. Frankly, I don't find strippers to be so interesting as to spend $100-150K per year on them (esp. since I have to make twice that to spend it). I can think of many other ways I'd rather spend that kind of money--including not making it in the first place, and taking it as leisure time.

In the words of that great patriot Yacov Smirnov--what a country!

If she isn't mine, I'm not hers either.

I found that having a regular pretty much eliminated the drama. Whenever I wanted to see one of my regulars, I'd call, make an appointment and she'd spend most of her time with me while I was there, which was usually during slow hours anyway. This worked especially well with my ATF. I suppose you could say that I was her whale, since I was her best customer.

One of the most difficult things a dancer has to deal with is being with a very good customer when another one walks in the door. I've discussed this with many different dancers and most admitted that it often made them uncomfortable. Here's how I always suggested that they deal with it (and what my ATF always did.) If I was with her and another good customer came in, she would tell me so, ask if she could be excused for a few minutes to say hello to him, then she'd go say hello and give him an idea about how long she thought she'd be tied up (she knew because I usually told her), then she'd return to me for as long as I stayed. Or if he said he couldn't stay very long and asked for a few dances right away, she'd come and tell me that and go give him his dances and then return to me. And if the shoe were on the other foot and I walked in while she was with someone else, she'd do the same with him and me. (If I knew she was going to be awhile I'd sometimes leave and come back later.) She always kept her good customers fully informed and treated us with courtesy, and as a result there was never any drama. Maybe that's how she got to be my ATF. And maybe that's why she was so popular.

I don't have a regular anymore. It's not that it's hard to find one, it's that it takes more time and money than I now wish to devote to clubbing. So, as Chandler correctly points out, I get massages instead.

But I always found that if you are honest and tell a dancer exactly how you want to be treated, if they are interested in having you as a regular they will treat you that way. And that eliminates most of the drama.

And thus we are back to the eternal question, to be a regular, or not. As Lopaw correctly states sometimes it's too much like dating. The expectations, drama, avoiding those are some of the reasons man of us like clubs.

Chitown correctly states the other side of the case. With a good regular you have a well known fit to your desires. Each visit is also an investment in future visits. With a regular you lose some of the thrill of the unknown, but it doesn't take half the night for her to get comfortable with you and for the higher mileage to start. She knows what you like and can deliver in a 3 song set what a new dancer takes several visits to get around to.

Chitown has it right for his side of the case, he could have expected a little more, a 3 song set wouldn't kill her, but you have to defer to her on making her living. If she makes it up to you then all's well in the long term.

These are exactly the types of situations that make me glad that I don't really have any ATF's anymore. Too much drama, too many expectations from both sides (real & imagined), and I know I HATED the idea of walking into a club and wondering as I sat down "will she be free to be with me tonight?". Nowadays I try to spread the wealth with several dancers during any given visit, and I try to avoid the whole ATF thing, if possible.

FONDL: If one fave said she was tied up, it was safe to conclude the other fave was in the same boat. Maybe it *would* have hurt for her to leave the whale for a few minutes. A guy who needs four girls to soothe his ego may not be very understanding about going for 20 minutes with only three. We can't know. Rather that concern myself with speculating and looking for an excuse to feel an affront, I say why not just write it off and try to have the most fun with the situation that's actually available to me.

My "vagaries of male desire" comment was obviously a statement of the reality that strippers deal with, not a recommendation for customer decision making. Disregard it, however, and, although you may find one or two ATFs over the years, you'll eventually give up on strip clubs for the sure thing of massage by appointment. [Sorry, FONDL, couldn't resist.]

Despite all this talk about what you won't tolerate, the fact is, nothing you can do is ever going to keep a dancer from being with the customer she wants to be with for whatever reason. It's a big world. There's always the chance a bigger fish is going to make you feel small on some nights. Take it in stride. As Chitown is fond of saying, don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

Chandler says, "First of all, didn't Chitown's fave do that in so many words? 'Sorry, you'll just have to watch me operate.'" Chitown indicated that two of his regulars were seated with the Whale and that one did and the other didn't. And I agree with his most recent comment that it wouldn't have hurt anything for his fave to take a few minutes out to spend with him. I think that would have been the courteous thing to do.

Chandler further says, "Strip clubs are different from other businesses, because the revenue stream depends on the vagaries of male desire." I strongly disagree - that's thinking with the little head instead of the big one, it's that kind of thinking that gets you in trouble in a strip club. This is a busines, the girls are doing this for money. You're the customer, you have every right, indeed the responsibility, to see that they treat you the way you want to be treated, otherwise the PL label applies. Chitown clearly wasn't treated the way he wanted or expected to be treated, he's a dissatisfied customer. She should either make it up to him if he wants to give her the opportunity to do so, or he should take his money elsewhere. Sounds like that's what he plans to do.

Chitown: I personally look at your situation as ideal. It's your opportunity to promote all the opportunities that exist in a free market. I never want to be the whale, but I do like to spend time w/my faves. Those times when business is to good for them offers me the freedom to redo our custy/dancer relationship in the future if there's a reason to do so. I never complain, and usually address it with humour and respect to a fav. Just as a business women's gotta do what she's gotta do, a customer has to do what he's gotta do. I don't want to be anyone's #1 customer - that cost is not one I want to carry. On the rare, real slow day I've been the whale, I engage a fav, or two, to not allow a free for all at my expense.

Regardless of what business we're talking about, I have a certain level of courtesy that I expect from anyone who I deal with on a regular basis. I wouldn't tolerate my barber ignoring me for 2+ hours without telling me up front that he was going to be tied up for a long time. Nor would I tolerate similar rude behavior from a waitress or my massage therapist or anyone else. Why should I treat a dancer any differently?

As I said before, I'd have no problem if she came over and told me she was going to be tied up for several hours. I expect her to have other customers and to make money when she can. But to just let me sit there without any acknowledgment? That's being rude to a good customer and I don't tolerate that from anyone. It's my money and if I don't get treated the way I want to be I go elsewhere.

FONDL: First of all, didn't Chitown's fave do that in so many words? "Sorry, you'll just have to watch me operate." She didn't say for how long because she didn't know. Mr. Whale doesn't typically state in advance for how many hours he plans to spew money like a spigot. It ends when it ends.

Strip clubs are different from other businesses, because the revenue stream depends on the vagaries of male desire. At its most basic, strippers spend their night bouncing around from "no" response to "no" response until they hit a "yes". Then they ride the "yes" until it changes to "no". To expect predictablity from this enterprise is to invite disappointment.

It would be quite different if Chitown had arranged in advance to meet her at an appointed time. Or even it were the night and time he regularly made his appearance. But he went on the spur of the moment well into the evening. He took a chance. He had been lucky up until then not to run into a whale-type obstacle already in progress. I think he has to allow for it as an occasional possibility.

Forgive me if I'm misinterpreting Chitown's description of the events, but I don't see the rudeness. Maybe it's because personally I don't expect a fave to come by and apologize for what I can see with my own eyes: She's busy, and she can't tell for how long for the reasons I described above. If she blows me a kiss or sticks out her tongue at me, that says it all.

I've calmed down and become rational enough over the last several days that I have decided that I will go back, and hopefully she will take it as an opportunity to make things up to me. This particular dancer truly is special...although her looks wouldn't put her on the cover of an international fashion magazine, she definitely hits what I happen to look for. And her "dances" have the same happy effect of exactly hitting my idiocyncratic tastes. I have to say, though, that I still don't understand what harm it would have been for her to have taken 20 minutes away from Moby (leaving him with only three girls for that time--and a perfect sampler: a blonde, a brunette, and a black girl) to have an abbreviated conversation of five minutes or so and my usual three-song round in VIP. And, as some have suggested, I did take this opportunity to get to know some other dancers. I was just disappointed because, frankly, I was coming in late specifically to see her, and she is better "broken in" to what I like than any other dancer I've spent time with, other than one with whom I have an OTC arrangement. So their isn't a perfect equivalence between time spent with her and time spent with other dancers, especially new ones.

Huge just hit the nail on the head. That's the point I should have tried to make. When I get together with a fave, it doesn't feel right unless it's open-ended. It may turn out that she doesn't stay long and only does a couple of dances, but if that's pre-arranged I'd just as soon forget it for that night.

AN: I'm sticking with my definition of "Whale", unless I see several tuscl'ers writing saying they don't mind waiting 2 hrs or more for favorite dancer(s). It happens, you can't realistically expect your fave(s) to be sitting there alone waiting just for you. Yet, you would like to have her.. At Some Point In Time over the course of your visit. Furthermore, you'd like some sort of gauge as to when, if ever your oppurtunity will occur. It is indeed possible that you may hook up with a real hottie. Very likely, you may find some dancers that pique your interest, though not to the same degree as "Whaled Faves". Chitown, I wouldn't let this incident deter you from another visit. Yet, there's always a bail or stay decision point. That, of course, will vary with club, # & availability of other interesting dancers, crowd demand/dancer supply curve, availability of other "good" nearby clubs, and, yes, your mood. Personally, I'd stick around an hr. for prospect of faves, but if nothing imminent appeared to be forthcoming, I'd bail. While there's no comparison between LV big spender and average tuscler, the top 5% of any category qualifies for a special term- such term being "Whale".

Minnow, I think you miss my point. A big fish could convince a dancer to keep a regular waiting for a bit. While I agree an hour seems excessive one guy keeping a dancer occupied for an hour isn't a whale. It takes a whale to monopolize multiple dancers for several hours

as for the person above who wondered why the girl couldn't tear herself away for a dance or two. Speaking from experience I know I don't juss want the taste or an appetiser. I want a whole meal including dessert and coffee afterwards if that's what I am willing to do. Last week a girl I hang with was juss at the end of her shift and we hung together for about 45 minutes, 25 of which was in a VIP room (i've previously hung with her for four plus hours). She did maybe two motionless dances for me and I gave her $100 bucks for the room. I wasn't overly pleased and told her the next day truth be told I would've preferred NOT to even have seen you under those circumstances since it felt so abbreviated. Perhaps a taste would work for you.

AN: I know that wasn't your main point. I was making sort of a side comment. For her to break away for me would mean more as a gesture than to really offer me what I came for. I've had faves do that - usually after I'd given up on her - and I've wished I had said let's try it some other night.

I think Chitown should let this one instance pass. You can't be so inflexible that you never tolerate her making a killing. So forget about it as though it never even happened. Unless she keeps doing it.

Chandler, The preface to your quote says "FONDL, I understand your point" kind of implies I'm discussing his thinking, or my characterization of it.

I said I understand FONDL's point (and to a lesser extent Chitown's disapointment), they have a valid complaint. A dance or two would take about 15-20 minutes, including some conversation, out of 3ish hours of whaling. It's not really going to kill her to make some effort for a good regular and a good dancer could finesse it, but as long as she's making a killing I'm not going to dwell on it unless it becomes a habit. Personally I'd sample the other talent or go.

AN: "you'd think one could tear herself away long enough for a dance or two."

In that case, I prefer to write her off for the night and save it for another time. I can have more fun with another girl who's not trying to squeeze me in during a break from her big catch. It's alright if my fave wants to sit with me for a minute, but I'd pass on getting a hurried dance.

WTF does live by the sword die by the sword man in this context? Stupid.

"I'll show her. I'll leave. And then I won't come back for longer than usual."

FONDL, is a girl who is busy making a killing with a whale even going to notice, let alone learn the lesson you (i.e., the royal "you") intend? I doubt it. I'd call that being a bit melodramatic, even if you have no illusions about romance. If it makes you feel better, great, but the drama you think you're playing the pivotal part is nonexistent to anyone else.

Chandler, Casualguy, Minnow, oops, missed that. My bad. I still stand by my definition, multiple dancers for a long time required to be a whale.

FONDL, I understand your point, with three other dancers you'd think one could tear herself away long enough for a dance or two. Still if the whale is paying a lot better than you would for a few dances you can't fault her for going with the money every so often, so long as she doesn't make it a habit.

"It's the thought that you would leave the club and not come back for some time that seems needlessly melodramatic." Nothing melodramatic about it, I just believe in demonstrating how I expect to be treated and how I will react if I'm not treated that way. I expect a regular of mine to have other customers and I'm perfectly willing to wait while she entertains someone else. But 2.5 + hours with a guy who's with 3 other dancers too is excessive. I won't wait that long and I want to make sure that she knows it.

Chandler, I like your thought process re: emotions and mistaking the strip club expereince for romance. Still, if I drive a half hour to get to a club, I would be dsiappointed if my favorite is not available all night. Romantic or selfish, I don't know which that falls under. But it would be hard NOT to feel disapoointed.

Chandler: Well, I patronize multiple dancers, and I don't consider myself to be a whale(lol). Therefore, I am proposing to add this term&definition to Tuscl Glossary: Whale: A customer who keeps 1 or more dancers occupied for 1 hour or more by buying multiple dances, or extended VIP's. // As for $$$ amts, a 2002 Zbone poll indicated that only 5.3% of survey participants routinely spend over $500 per visit(1.8% spent over $1K per visit). Keeping dancer occupied in VIP for 1 hr at Brass Flamingo only requires $100-$120. Doing same thing in 2001 (Tampa) Spaceship would cost $400 ($800 for their Champagne Room). Its my understanding that Bare Ellegance "Skybox" runs $500 per 1/2 hr. Regardless of dance/VIP cost, the effect on PL is still the same, thus my defining time, rather than $$$. An alternative term derived from zbone is "F**koe", which loosely means someone who occupies desired dancer with conversation for a long time. We all have probably Whaled or F**koed at 1 time or another.

Mick: Feeling disappointed I certainly understand. It's the thought that you would leave the club and not come back for some time that seems needlessly melodramatic. I view disappointment as a normal part of most strip club visits. I don't know how many times my night started out with disappointment that a girl I was hoping to hook up with wasn't there or was monopolized, and I wound up having an even better time with a new girl or one I hadn't expected to see. Speaking of driving distance, I drive at least an hour any time I visit a club, so my approach is somewhat dictated by my determination to make it worth the trip.

AN: Casualguy was referring to Minnow's definition. By those terms, I'm a whale most of the time I visit my home club, and so are several other guys there.

Although I've often been disappointed that strippers I wanted to get with were tied up all night, I can't recall ever feeling like one guy monopolized all the best girls. It might be that whales tend to like a different type of girl than I like. Usually when check out who's among the crowd of girls hanging out at a guy's table, I conclude it's no loss of mine.

Chitown, I've been on that side of a big spender before. I've also sadly been the whale once or twice without intending to.

Sometimes on a slow day or night the girls follow their friends to a guy who is tipping. That was me a few times and I've ended up buying a few rounds for 4 or 5 girls and slipping a little extra tip to them after I've had a few. I wouldn't consider myself a whale in the sense that I'm tossing out $20's to the girls and buying champagne, it is usually only when nobody else in the club is spending I become a whale by default.

Once that pattern gets set up sometimes the dancers stick with "the whale" even after the club picks up. I don't often feel bad about hogging the girls when it happens, but when I'm on the other side of it I know what you mean.

It really only matters to me when he has one of my regulars or the number of dancers is a bit too low for the crowd. In the later case rather than a free market the club becomes a restricted market and a zero summ game. Every dancer he takes out of circulation is one less for everyone else. In that case, probably best to move on.

For the first case, i.e. a favorite or regular dancer, I've always told them I understand they need to go after the whales sometimes, but just be upfront with me about it and make it up to me next time I'm in. I usually move on after they let me know they're landing the big fish that night, or as you mentioned it is the perfect opportunity to add a secon stringer to the roster. (I like to go with a good utility player, versitle, hot hand right off the bench.) This is one of the good/bad things about a regular. She should be upfront, but you have to allow some space for her to operate if an opportunity arises.

If that had been me, I would have either (a) quickly latched onto another girl and spent the evening with her if one was available who appealed to me or, more likely (b) left and gone to your other club. And in either case it would probably be awhile before I returned to club #1.

But it makes a big difference how often you go to club #1 and how often you see this girl. If you're a frequent regular of hers it's quite different than if you only go in once in awhile. If you're an infrequent visitor then the way she treated you is both understandable and excusable. But if you are a regular or hers, she should treat you better than that, and I'd make sure she knows (through actions, not words) that you were not pleased.

...."every woman has two tits, and several of them actual merit...." Sounds like you might have Ariel on your mind. Yes, it blows when you're on the short end of the free market equation. It pays to have alternate dancers, too, although having 4 faves @ same club "occupied" may be a bit too much, and merits serious consideration for bailing, & going to Club B. There have been many times @ Brass with some faves saying "I'll get you when I finish VIP", where I've SWORN that this'll be the night I go to (PT's, CC, CR, etc), only to have a new dancer exude good stageside vibes, be available, and at least almost make me forget "whaled dancer". A few times, though, I have bailed to PT's, and been happy with my choice.

That's business as usual for me. I have many favorites at some clubs, any of whom are liable to be otherwise engaged at any given time. Chances are, at least one of them will shake loose soon after I arrive, and if not, I have no problem with trying out new girls. They know it, so they feel no need to come by and make apologies.

At least in your episode, Chitown, your faves were *already* tied up when you arrived - it's not as though they chose this "whale" over you. I think first come first serve counts for something. Also, were the other girls you were "occupied with" a letdown just to fill time, or were they worthwhile on their own merits?

I can't expect my faves to drop everything for me. I'm not that big a spender, and even if I were, there's always a chance somebody will come along and spend more. I'd rather not get started on that path. By the same token, if I'm in the middle of having a good time with a new girl, I'm not inclined to send her packing as soon as one of my faves comes on the floor.

It seems to me our tendency is to attach emotions that aren't really there to how this plays out by mistaking commerce for romance. We act like it's the high school dance with the gender roles reversed. "Will she pick me? Oh, please." When I catch myself thinking that way, I try to remember we're both doing the picking, and the best I can expect is we'll be in sync often enough to sustain a business relationship.

BTW, is a "whale" one who patronizes multiple dancers, or just big spender? That's a new one for me.

"Whale" is a Vegas casino term (at least that's where I understand this particular meaning to have originated). If landing the "big fish" is desireable, the "whale" is a step above. These are the guys who like to gamble and have almost unlimited funds. In Vegas whales get comped rooms, usually the best available, meals, etc, etc. These are guys who play blackjack for 10,000 a hand.

When they call ahead casinos have been known to send a private jet, limo, close a room so they can play alone or with their friends, clear a floor and assign a very senior person to do nothing but make sure they get what they want and keep gambling.

While not exact a whale in the stripclub context is the guy everyone drops everything to please, leaving the other customers scraping for what's left.

When this happens and I get whaled I don't begrudge the dancers. They are in it for the money and the more they make the better for them. It sounds like they will take care of you next time you are in. Also when this happens with my favorites it gives me a chance to sample other dancers. It is like a win win situation the regulars are making money I get to try out some new talent and when the regulars are available the next time I do not feel obligated to hang with them if I don't want to. I would go back to the same club and enjoy myself with or without the favorites. You can never have too many pretty naked women sticking the titties in your face. The more the merrier.

CT: I definitely know how you felt (and probably are still feeling). Like I've mentioned in previous ramblings, when I'm in a club where I have a regular/fave, I EXPECT that she spend her time with me. If I feel that she's losing a lot of money had she been spending time with other guys, I will kick-in a nice tip when I leave to thank her for her loyalty.

I've left clubs pissed off when "my girl of the moment" opts to dance or sit with others in my presence. I HAVE had girls that I'm with, first ask if it would be okay to dance for another guy for a bit, and reluctantly I will SOMEtimes let her, but normally, that's a NO!

On the other hand, I've been the one occupying the girls, and I KNOW I've pissed off regulars that had expected to spend time with their girl, only to find that they were with me.

On the other other hand (sorry, had to keep up your theme), like you said, it IS an economic thing and obviously the whale was a big spender that made it more than worth the girls while to spend that time with him.

In what you relayed here, this is what I would take from the experience; most importantly, your girl DID make the effort to come by and apologize, and included a kiss and it obviously wasn't anything personal. Chalk it up as being in the right place at the wrong time, and give her and the club another chance - unless the whale makes it a habit of becoming the Klub Kiljoy.

Thanks, lopaw! And my apologies to any actual blubbering whale-bellied day shifters who may be reading this. No offense intended.

"I call it Day Shift."

Bwahahahahahah! Good one!

casualguy, I think Chitown was pretty clear that this was 4 dancers for the entire 2.5 hours he was there, plus presumably some time both before he arrived and after he left. I think that qualifies, especially if the club was slow and there weren't a lot of dancers. I don't think I read anyone characterize someone tying up a dancer for an hour as a whale, some just agreed that it can be bothersome if you show up and your fave is unavailable. The problem with the whale is they often go a lot deeper in to the lineup than just one favorite, making it tough for the rest of us to find a dancer.

I didn't even realize tying up a dancer for an hour could make you be considered a whale. I've done so a few times but I thought it was more likely the dancer wanted to talk a bit when the club is usually slow. I don't usually spend that much during an hour. I remember one dancer decided to spend over 3 hours talking to me and I only spent $30 on her (bought 1 $10 table dance an hour). It's no wonder someone may have asked if I was her boyfriend on a subsequent visit. It can be a bit surprising when one of your favorites at the time seems to want to spend your entire time in the club just talking to you. I told her I would like to get some dances from other girls before the club closed. Otherwise I did enjoy that at that time.

I scanned thru many responses and tend to agree with those who suggested it is business. I tend to flit around with a favorite at each club but have one lady that see in and out of club. She works nights (1-2x a week). At one stretch, she had an old guy that would spend 300-400 a nite on her ( no vips, and not outside). That was the only time that I got a case of the ass. It seems he either gave up (cost too much) or he got it and decided wasnt worth it. I saw the guy, not a whale, just an old white guy with thinning white hair pulled into a poney tail.

I used to get all huffy, too, when a fave dancer chose to sit with her whale for the whole night, but now I agree that it is a golden opportunity to tryout someone new. There are some true undiscovered gems out there that you might not ever have found had it not been for the ole' whale-hog.

Thanks for the explanation, AN. Now I get it.

Minnow, I meant multiple dancers at once, you silly man. I think it's a good term, but I like AN's less technical definition: "One step up from a big fish. The guy everyone drops everything to please, leaving the other customers scraping for what's left."