Overheard in the VIP

joesparty
Recently in the den of debauchery that is Bogart's "VIP" I overheard a girl telling her customer about how her doctor recently increased her Xanax dose. My girl and I snickered a bit under our breath, but the kicker happened a few seconds later. Xanax girl and her guy leave and return quickly thereafter. He thinks he left something--I think keys or wallet--under his chair. He starts searching and doesn't find it right away. Xanax girl says, loudly and out of the blue, "Well how did THAT end up in my purse?" Guy thanks her for "finding" his stuff and beats a hasty retreat. My girl and I nearly died.

What's the unintentionally funniest thing you've overheard in VIP or the club in general?

14 comments

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sharkhunter
13 years ago
I remember a dancer asked me if I saw her slip and fall on her ass. I smiled and said no, I must have missed that. (Darn it I thought. That would have been funny.) Then she said good because she didn't want to talk to everyone else who did.
georgmicrodong
13 years ago
Bartender, to me, after escorting my ATF and me back to the, then lockable, VIP room:

"Don't get completely undressed, ABC was here earlier and we might not get much warning if they come back."

My ATF responded, completely deadpan:

"Will leaving his socks on be good enough?"
shadowcat
13 years ago
Best known cock sucker in the club plops down next to me, points at another dancer with her arm in a cast and asks "How can she give a good lap dance?"
ididthisonce
13 years ago
One girl lost her chewing gum in some guys's pubic hair. Wonder how he explained that when he got home?
Clubber
13 years ago
Customer: I wouldn't pay a dime to see her in the back.

A few beers later...

Customer: Sure honey, let's go.

A few minutes later...

Bouncer: Get out and stay out!
vincemichaels
13 years ago
The most memorable one I've heard was. "Oh shit the rubber broke"
Longball300
13 years ago
Detroit club. There was a power outage and only some lighting was on and no music. Heard all kinds of moans, groans and body slapping that you normally would never hear. Suddenly my ATF and I hear from the VIP next door: "Ooo, ooo, put it in my ass so it will hurt less"........ and yes, I typed that correctly..... hysterical.
Dudester
13 years ago
Me: Where do I put the condom ? (indicating a spent condom)

Her: Just toss it behind the chair. There'll be a dozen more back there before I finish tonight.
skibum609
13 years ago
Jack -- Realistically a strip club will have more attractive women as a percentage of the group than women in every day life, but thats only because looks are the main requirement there. Not every attractive woman strips so you can find women as attractive, if not more attractive than strippers in every day life. I have been to Mons and Spearment Rhino as well as about 500 other clubs on this site over the past 35 years so I have an idea of what people look like. As far as stripping being a job just like any other? Bullshit. Jobs affect the way people think, the way they live and how they handle life. Cops see things differently than the average person so they tend to hang out with cops. The idea that a a job in the sex industry is similar to a woman being an accountant is ridiculous. Strippers take off their clothes for money; allow customers to fondle them for money; fondle customers for money and some do extras for money. If you really don't think that afects their lives you're r eally not thinking.
shadowcat
13 years ago
Jack who?
Otto22
13 years ago
Once at Henry 8 the dancer called out to her colleagues, "My God, look at the balls on this guy!" They were impressive, about the size of tennis balls.
Moose42
13 years ago
"Take off your pants....do you have a condom? No? It's okay, I have one." Great success.
dudeanonymous
13 years ago
skibum: huh?

troop: cat got your tongue?
HonestT
13 years ago
Those were really funny. The funniest things I ever heard:

From a stripper in VIP after hearing her saying no, then saying no louder, then yelling: "if you touch my asshole again, I'm going to shit on your hand, MF!" My ATF and I laughed hard.

I was getting a day shift 2 for 1 girl/girl dance with girl 1 sitting on my lap, while girl 2 is grinding on us. Girl 2 gets on her knees and says, "spread 'em baby" to Girl 1, spreads Girl 1's legs and moves her thong to the side. Girl 1 goes, "wait, don't do it! I just farted a little!". Girl 2 responds with, "girl I have 5 kids, nothing can gross me out-- I've seen it all. " Girl 2 then proceeds to tongue out Girl 1, with gusto. LOL

I guess I should not have let that bother me, but it made me kinda ill and I left right after that dance.
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