Girl U Want

Um, a half a dance?! A messy finish I presume???

In a crowded Nashville bar, I was sitting on a stool - back to the bar - listening to a jazz band on a stage across the room. A girl backed up, between my legs to let someone pass in front of her. When she realized what she had backed onto she turned her head and said, "I'm sorry." I leaned forward and said into her ear, "I'm not!" She stayed there, moving slowly with the music, until the band's set was over.

Only after the girl walked away without another word, leaving me with a boner, did I think to look at my date on the next stool. My date asked me if I knew the girl. When I said, "No" my date date said, "That was hot, let's go!" It was a good night.

A couple of years ago, had gone to St. James to see a particular dancer. She had gone in the dressing room, telling me she'd be right back. I was approached by a dancer in a magnificent costume that looked like it belonged in a Broadway play or the Opera. She stood in front of me so I could drink it in.

Me: Magnificent costume !!
Her: Would you like to take it off of me ?
Me: (in great pain) I'm sorry, I'm waiting for my date.