The Longest Club Review I Have Ever Read

11 comments

• georgmicrodong

  •

  14 years ago

  If you go to the recent reviews page, there is a link that will give a list of the 100 clubs with the most recent reviews. It's a longer list, so something there might ring a bell.
• samsung1

  •

  14 years ago

  My guess is: [view link]
• minnow

  •

  14 years ago

  ss1- Instead of providing an UNCLICKABLE prolix link, how about just naming the club, date of review, and reviewer???
• georgmicrodong

  •

  14 years ago

  minnow: instead of BITCHING AT PEOPLE TRYING TO HELP, why don't you copy and paste the link into your browser? Especially when you aren't even the one asking the original question...
• samsung1

  •

  14 years ago

  Here is the review for those using a phone and can't go to the link as easy: I heard a good deal of hype about this new club in DC, and always being up for a new venue, I decided to give it a try last night. I have to say that given all I had heard about this place, I was VERY disappointed. The club is in a very sketchy part of town. Nevertheless, I had no trouble with the neighborhood. The place was easy to find and seemed quite safe when I pulled up at about 10:30 pm. The club has a decent sized parking lot with valet service right out front. I am not opposed to paying $20 for valet, and quite often do so in clubs downtown where there is nothing but hard to find street parking. Here, however, I was charged a $20 valet fee, and the valet parked my car literally 20 feet away from the door. I was told that you have to pay for valet if you want to keep your car on the lot. The service was friendly, prompt, and excellent, but also completely unnecessary. Hint #1 to management, consider just charging a nominal fee for self parking in the lot. Maybe $5. Once inside, I was asked to pay another fee - $20 for admission. A friend had given me a free admission card, so I didn't have to pay this, but I was surprised I was asked. Hint #2 for management - consider a discounted door fee for people who already paid for valet. OK, so after supplying the admission card, I was escorted into the club by a security guy who seated me at the bar. I was alone, so this made the most sense. The guy was extremely courteous, pointed me to the bar, and then took off. So far so good. The decor in this place is MUCH nicer than in any other DC strip club. I wouldn't call it posh, but it is pretty well done. The space is roomy, with a long bar that fills most of the middle of the club, and 3 stages. Nice use of mirrors on the walls improves visibility of the stages and also makes the room seem a bit larger. I noticed that only the main stage was in use, which isn't too much of a surprise for a Tuesday night, but what was a surprise was the dancer on that stage. Hideous. I mean this girl was ugly. When I say ugly, what I really mean is "not attractive to men". Plain and simple. I considered it a one-off, and focused my attention on the bartender and the menu. The bartender was very attentive, attractive, and friendly. And she hustled. She took my order, delivered my order, checked in to make sure I was ok - all the right things. In fact, I'd say she was the best thing going for this club. She was the most positive part of my entire experience. I was hungry, so I ordered food. Food... well, that isn't really what they sell at Stadium. Snacks. Expensive snacks - that is what I'd call the menu items. The prices are quite high and the portions are quite small. I ordered the Stadium Crab Cakes. Cakes. Notice the "s" at the end. That is how it appears on the menu - Stadium Crab Cakes. The description below the title on the menu also says cakes, with an s. $15. I figured $15 is reasonable for a couple crab cakes, so I went for it and ordered them. BUT... what I got was one crab cake. One teeny weeny little crab cake. There was also a huge pile of lettuce leaves on the plate. I searched through them frantically but found nothing more to eat. Only that one tiny little crab cake. All 3 bites of it were delicious, but seriously - $15 for 3 bits of crab is ridiculous. And the title on the menu is misleading. They should at least take off the "s" and call it crab cake. Still hungry, I order the french fries - which, really, should have come along with the crab cake instead of all that crappy lettuce. Especially for $15. I was really hungry though, so I bit the bullet and ordered the $10 french fries. Yes, $10. What arrived was a plate with about 11 (I counted them) thick-cut french fries sprinkled in Old Bay. They tasted good, but again - at about $1 per fry - these things are expensive. They have a 6 ounce steak for $32, but really??? Six ounces is small for a hamburger, for a steak it is just insulting. I was still hungry after the fries, but couldn't see shelling out any more money for snacks at this rate, so I just ate a full dinner at Checker's on my way out. That filled me up, and only cost me about 6 bucks. While all this was going on, I was paying attention to the dancers on stage as they switched from one to another. I watched 7 or 8 dancers in all, each one as hideous as the one before her. It seems, at least on this particular night, that you get three choices at Stadium: 1. Entire body covered in tattoos 2. Entire body covered in stretch marks 3. Entire body covered in tattoos and stretch marks Well, for me, neither of those options is to my taste. I looked around the room for other dancers, thinking maybe all the good ones were busy doing table dances, but no, that was not the case. Every dancer in the place was a pig. They were all friendly, genuinely glad to be there and glad to be with customers, but all the same these were not pretty women. They weren't even plain women. They were scary ugly. I recognized more than a few of them as the dregs from the other DC clubs. These are the girls that seem to get fired from one club, wind up at another, get fired there and wind up someplace else, and so on. Stadium seems to be the latest club to pick them up. Perhaps they won't last long. I hope not, for Stadium's sake. I never checked out the private rooms, or table dances. I just didn't see the point. These girls were train wrecks on the main stage - I couldn't imagine wanting to see them at close range. I'm definitely not masochist enough to pay for such a privilege. SO - clearly the goal of Stadium is to provide an upscale experience - an upscale environment with high quality dancers catering to an upscale clientele. So far they have fallen far short of that goal. It seems they think the best way to ensure only upscale customers fill the room is to make EVERYTHING so expensive that nobody else can or will want to come in. That's just not a good business model. People with money to burn want value too. At Stadium, they are about taking lots of your money, giving you very little in return, but doing so with an absolutely positive attitude. Smiles abound at Stadium, although on not exactly the most attractive faces. The furniture is really comfy. The best furniture in any strip club in DC. Let's see if they can hire dancers and chefs to match. Maybe they can figure out a way to deliver high-quality services and value to match the high prices. That would be truly upscale and worth a return visit. Until I hear that they've changed things, I doubt I'll go back. cheezwhiz's Profile & Reviews Stadium Club 2127 Queens Chapel Road NE Washington, D.C. 202.269.4477 Again, this is just my best guess after looking through the recent reviews...maybe arbeeguy saw it long ago that it is no longer on the last 100 recent reviews
• samsung1

  •

  14 years ago

  georgmicrodong, thanks for the defense but minnow and I have exchanged several PMs back and forth before. There are no hard feelings lol
• jabthehut

  •

  14 years ago

  However, george's comeback was pretty good. Does anybody else see the irony in microdong having a comeback for minnow?
• mmdv26

  •

  14 years ago

  I agree w/ arbeeguy, cheezwhiz's review was long, but interesting and well written. Sometimes it takes a while to tell the whole story!
• Clubber

  •

  14 years ago

  "Cliffsnotes" version of the review... I heard about this new club in DC. I was VERY disappointed. Bad part of town. Expensive, but nice inside. Good bar service, but expensive food sucked. Dancers were the pits, so never tried any dances. Won't return.
• jabthehut

  •

  14 years ago

  Thanks Clubber. I was hoping someone would do that so I didn't have to read the whole thing.
• Clubber

  •

  14 years ago

  jth, No problem.