Competition

17 comments

• gk

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  14 years ago

  Sort of. When you say you have an ATF, she knows you feel that way. What happens sometimes is that dancers take your interest, dedication, exclusivity. whatever you want to call it, for granted and slip in other business on what you think is your time because they know you'll be there. This may not sound directly like your scenario, but it really is in the larger context. That guy might have thought of her the same way you think of her. The signs are there: "let's go" signifiess an understanding or expectation (on his part), whether immediate or longterm we don't know. Regardless of whether that last sentence applies, the reality always is this, you're "involved", she's working. Go with the flow. You always need to have to have a realistic line of "respectul" expectations. If it's not working and she crosses that line too much, just move on and spread your money around. You'll feel better that way and stay in control.
• Clubber

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  14 years ago

  Well, first thing you have to remember is that she is there to make money, so if you take up her time, she should be compensated. I doubt you would be her ATF customer if she didn't make money off you. My ATF would always sit with me, but knew I had no problem with her dancing for others. After just a few dances when we first met, she didn't dance for me again, but rather we just spent time together ITC and OTC.
• Player11

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  14 years ago

  I think that guy is a jerk for barging in on your scene. But I don't think its worth a shooting over. Also, dancers will spend their time where money pulls them.
• steve229

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  14 years ago

  Sounds like this is the first time, so you could just chalk it up to a pushy customer and let it go. If it happens again, well, then you know something is up. I'm curious about your "I leave an hour later" statement. Did you: A. Sit by yourself in a funk for an hour, then leave. (Er, not good) B. Flirt with the waitresses and tip the other dancers on stage for an hour (better) C. Flirt with the waitresses, tip the other dancers on stage, invite that hot new girl you've had your eye on over for a chat and drinks, then take her to the back for a try out dance (best)
• gatorfan

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  14 years ago

  The dancer told the other guy "maybe later", am I understanding this correct? Those words set up the situation. Most dancers will simply say "I'm with a customer" or go ahead, do the lap dances with the other guy first. What if you were the other guy and she said she'll be right back, but never returned. Rude behavior either way.
• Jpac73

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  14 years ago

  Seems like the Dancer might have led the guy on. Why did she tell him "Maybe later" in the first place? If she wanted to give him a dance why didn't she give it to him then? Maybe she didn't really want to dance for the guy in the 1st place. If a dancer told me that and she wasn't going on stage, or with another customer I would not want to deal with her anymore. I would take it as being disrespected and would not bother speaking to her again.
• sharkhunter

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  14 years ago

  Hi. New here but not new to strip clubs. Sounds like a very pushy customer and rude butting in like that. However if you already got dances from your dancer maybe he just wanted to ask instead of waiting around. It's not worth a fight over in my opinion. I suppose if a dancer said maybe later the guy must have asked her. I actually have trouble remembering a dancer ever saying maybe later to me. I usually go to places where dancers ask multiple times though. No need to ask anyone.
• looker123

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  14 years ago

  There are only 2 ways this can go. She thinks she knows you will wait for her and put up with being pushed off, that means she thinks she can call the shots. I would make a point of doing a dance with a few of the other girls, let her know that your money is going else where. At the same time don't ever forget this is a business (especially of the dancers) and there is no place for real emotion.
• 2335vent

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  14 years ago

  Thanks for the help just curious how of ten it happened top others. Clubber I agree and have always been supportive of her making money. It was just strange since I had told her we'd dance again just before the other guy showed up. Steve Never was in a funk. Just tipped some of the girls on stage talked to a couple of waitresses then left. All others. I would never get in a fight or verbal confrontation. Too old. Lifes too short. I've had multiple ATFs over the last 10 years(is it still an ATF?) I get to know someone over a few months (usually pick the most attractive girl and has to have a personality/brains) and visit several clubs at home and at my second home so may be two ATFs at a time at different clubs. Usually get preferential treatment but understand its a business. Maybe I need to lower my standards? Ah no. Interesting she emailed me an apology today saying she thought the guy only wanted 1 dance but ended up with her for 1 1/2hrs in the VIP and was sorry she couldn't get back to me. She apparently had talked to him early but then was busy with another custie then me and he'd waited about 1 1/2 hrs for her!! Anyway thanks again always enjoy the banter but usually not an active party.
• ilbbaicnl

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  14 years ago

  Not too many customers are that much of an a-hole. It's generally the dancer who will cut the chit-chat short when she could be earning somewhere else. Many clubs require the dancers to work a full shift, so if you come when things are slow, and the dancer knows you're coming, you will get more time to socialize. I think it's pretty rare for a dancer to think of a customer as much more than an ATM with a penis. If you want it to go beyond that, you have to see things from her point of view. A dancer may be more special to you than she is to other customers, but that doesn't make your money more green than anyone else's.
• mmdv26

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  14 years ago

  This situation is the ebb and flow of the hunt. Definitely part of the game. One minute you've got the prize, the next minute it's as if you didn't exist. There is a great deal of obsessive/compulsive behavior in play here. The strip club experience parallels mental illness in many ways.
• jabthehut

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  14 years ago

  As to a girl being in it to earn money, I couldn't agree more, however, a one-shot private dance may not earn her as much money as someone, like the OP, who may "waste" some of her time talking but actually be good for a few rounds of say five private dances in the night. The girl who doesn't figure that out deserves to starve. On the other hand, the OPs ATF probably did the smarter thing in avoiding a scene.
• samsung1

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  14 years ago

  I remember once I saw a dancer at a bar sitting with another customer. I also then saw another customer eying her. We joked about having to wait in line for her. Friendly competition I guess. After she was done with the customer at the bar she was called to stage. I went up to stage tip her and the other guy didn't. I got her attention afterwards and enjoyed some dances with her.
• LeeH

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  14 years ago

  I've had variations on that theme. Chalk it up to "shit happens". If it keeps happening, maybe it's time for a new ATF.
• gatorfan

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  14 years ago

  To say again, the stripper controls the situation. She did a shitty job of handling it. I'd question whether half of what she is telling you is even true.
• bigdude012

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  14 years ago

  I've had the opposite happen. I was getting money out of the ATM and it ws clear that I was going to spend on the dancer I was sitting with. I was walking back when out of nowhere a dancers with very large breasts came out and gave me a big hug and said, wanna dance? I told her I only had enough money for one more dance; which was true. The dancer I had been sitting with seemed concerned when I told her about and I think she was pissed with the other dancer. In the end it was all good.
• licklick

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  14 years ago

  I always figure that "talk" time is a bonus and never begrudge a dancer the opportunity to move on and make some more money. After a long chat, I try to acknowledge that I've appreciated their time along with the dance. With ATFs, I know that on the vast majority of my visits I'm gonna get plenty of quality time.