Back a few months ago, one dancer asked me if I was a cop. Well I have a new weird question, one dancer asked me last night if I was a stripper. I think she thought I was somebody else. She thought she knew me from 10 years ago and said something about I left her and she cried afterwards she told me. Crazy.
It was not in the form of a question, but I once had a stripper tell me that I looked EXACTLY like her old high school history teacher. Oh yeah, the same one that she performed her first blow job on. After she handled my meager equipment she knew that I wasn't the same guy. Oh, well......
About a dozen years ago, I got a couple of lappers from a cutie right before she went off duty. She asked if I wanted to go to her place to party. As I was leaving, I noticed she was meeting a van load of weird looking guys. Didn't know if she was hosting a gangbang, or if this was a set up. I declined.
"do you want some russian love?"
me: What is that?
"It's a lap dance"
me: no thanks maybe later
me thinking: wtf...russian love is not a lap dance...i think of russian love as rubbing my dick in between your tits
haha in addition to SD,
I told a stripper I would give her an extra tip if she can make me cum....she then said "do you promise that you will let me know if you cum?"...I'm thinking wtf you will know when it happens...
I'm not sure of a way a dancer would not know, unless you shot in your pants and she didn't feel a wet spot. Now, assuming by her asking the question she did expect you to cum, she would be looking for the rather obvious evidence that did or did not cum, ergo, a weird question.
I don't know if could be classified as weird but it sure was entertaining. 7 years an hour+ after the vice squad had just raided the infamous Memphis Platinum Plus, I accepted lap dances with a cute, petite dancer.
Her "What are your rules?"
Me "I don't have any. What are yours?"
Her "I don't have any either".
On my most recent trip to a middle-of-nowhere strip club, to Denison, Iowa, I met a dancer, and she asked where I was from and I said down by Omaha and she asked me "How did you get here? Did you drive?" I should have told her I didn't drive and I flew my plane in and it's parked outside the door.
At least she asked you nicely. I once had a dancer tell me, in her best Madame Helga voice "Bite my nipples, Bitch!" I did. She laughed and called me a silly, little man and left in the middle of that dance. Weird.
I asked if she were serious and she said yes. I asked how hard and she said the harder the better. I told her i could draw blood and she said fine. I took leave of her. I don't mind a light nip (pun intended), but to bite? I don't think so!
lol that reminds me of an episode from "nip tuck" it is about 2 plastic surgeons with weird patients. One patient kept having to come in to get his nipples replaced because he liked going to a dominatrix to have them pinched/twisted off. It showed a scene where the dominatrix stuck the fishing rod hooks into his nipples to rip them out. The patient worked in hollywood where he said the major deals go down at pool side parties so it was important to have good looking nipples. Ouch! not my cup of tea but to each their own.
Her: (on the club floor) you remember I don't do penetration, right?
Me: right, I remember
Her: well, did you come in here just for penetration, are you going straight for that, or do you need a fluff girl first?
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Well, duh...
me: What is that?
"It's a lap dance"
me: no thanks maybe later
me thinking: wtf...russian love is not a lap dance...i think of russian love as rubbing my dick in between your tits
I told a stripper I would give her an extra tip if she can make me cum....she then said "do you promise that you will let me know if you cum?"...I'm thinking wtf you will know when it happens...
I'm not sure of a way a dancer would not know, unless you shot in your pants and she didn't feel a wet spot. Now, assuming by her asking the question she did expect you to cum, she would be looking for the rather obvious evidence that did or did not cum, ergo, a weird question.
Her "What are your rules?"
Me "I don't have any. What are yours?"
Her "I don't have any either".
And she didn't. I got a BBBJ on the 4th song.
I've gotten used to dancers asking me to spank them during LDs, but this was a new one.
You reminded me of a dancer that asked, "Will you bite my nipples?"
I'm such a mild-mannered looking guy (think Ward Cleaver in
a strip club).
I asked if she were serious and she said yes. I asked how hard and she said the harder the better. I told her i could draw blood and she said fine. I took leave of her. I don't mind a light nip (pun intended), but to bite? I don't think so!
Me: right, I remember
Her: well, did you come in here just for penetration, are you going straight for that, or do you need a fluff girl first?