since none of yall are asking me about atlanta

So I didn't win. I came in 12th place (14 guys) my debut amateur contest. I wanted to say that if you, my brothers and sisters from this website I could have done better. Anyway I showed up @ 9pm to get ready. The "house daddy" named alfred greeted me. I went to the dressing room and took a dump cause I was so scared. Not scared of the contest, but scared of catching hepatitis from the toilet. Anyway 14 guys showed up and I was the hottest by far. I had a fake moustache so nobody would recognize me. Anyway, I was up. G string was on. I had red chaps on, a vest, and a tiny cowboy hat that just sat on the top of my head. The place was packed. My song started....george michaels "father figure". Looking back, the song is where I went wrong. I moved around the main stage like a nimble cat. I jumped to the side stages with the grace of a ballet dancer. When I unhooked my tbar my johnson flopped out and I guess it was cold because it looked like a vienna sausage and 2 grapes. Anyway, they annonounced the winners and I was crying on stage. I knew I had it. When they announced me as 12th I collapsed. I don't remember anything else. I would like to announce my retirement drom the world of exotic dancing. I may do a spot here and there for the right money but ill leave it to the pros.