tuscl

since none of yall are asking me about atlanta

Monday, September 14, 2009 1:16 AM
So I didn't win. I came in 12th place (14 guys) my debut amateur contest. I wanted to say that if you, my brothers and sisters from this website I could have done better. Anyway I showed up @ 9pm to get ready. The "house daddy" named alfred greeted me. I went to the dressing room and took a dump cause I was so scared. Not scared of the contest, but scared of catching hepatitis from the toilet. Anyway 14 guys showed up and I was the hottest by far. I had a fake moustache so nobody would recognize me. Anyway, I was up. G string was on. I had red chaps on, a vest, and a tiny cowboy hat that just sat on the top of my head. The place was packed. My song started....george michaels "father figure". Looking back, the song is where I went wrong. I moved around the main stage like a nimble cat. I jumped to the side stages with the grace of a ballet dancer. When I unhooked my tbar my johnson flopped out and I guess it was cold because it looked like a vienna sausage and 2 grapes. Anyway, they annonounced the winners and I was crying on stage. I knew I had it. When they announced me as 12th I collapsed. I don't remember anything else. I would like to announce my retirement drom the world of exotic dancing. I may do a spot here and there for the right money but ill leave it to the pros.

12 comments

  • notgreenvegas
    •
    15 years ago
    Meant to say if you my brothers and sisters from this site had showed up
  • notgreenvegas
    •
    15 years ago
    I'm pretty sure the guy that won (named baxter) won because his song choice. He was ugly but man when karma chameleon came on the culture club just put the crowd in a trance. He was good. I didn't want to catch the gay so I stayed in the back
  • Dougster
    •
    15 years ago
    Dude, are you some kind of homo or something? You seem oddly pre-occupied with your looks for a guy.
  • Philip A. Stein
    •
    15 years ago
    Frist off, these contest are always rigged. So you probably did win but they gave to a house dancer or some dude they're trying to hire or the DJ's boyfriend. I agree, song selection is everything. Nest time you might try Tent in your Pants by Peaches. It's got hard pounding rhythm that'll drive the ladies mad. [view link] I bet there were women in mob asking themselves, "Nice stash, wonder if it's real?"
  • harrydave
    •
    15 years ago
    I'm going to guess you're bipolar, perhaps drug induced. You're in a manic phase and you're going to flame out in a week or so when you run out of cash. Be sure to keep us current with daily updates on your exceptional life.
  • notgreenvegas
    •
    15 years ago
    Yeah I wish women were going wild. The place was full of guys in leather! I gave a few LDs to some fans after because they felt sorry for me I think. I took a cue from platinum plus and took ice out of a guys drink and rubbed it on my nipple. He got up and seemed mad....who knows why. Anyway I ended up leaving atlanta with my tail tucked wishing I had done a little better. I should have hit the mystic tan more I guess. Anyway I'm still hot and I still don't understand the world of exotic dancing. My travels will continue. Next goal......try to get a dancer at the trophy club in greenvegas to take me to the skybox for free. Ill be in touch
  • notgreenvegas
    •
    15 years ago
    On a serious note if you read this post and didn't laugh out loud or at least smile raise your hand. Bueller....bueller.....anyone. anyone. Thought so. Lighten up. Laugh a little. That was fucking funny.
  • magicrat
    •
    15 years ago
    NGV, I thought this was one of the funniest posts I have ever read here. I think you guys are giving him too hard a time...he does have a lot of entertainment value..which is one purpose of the site imo.
  • notgreenvegas
    •
    15 years ago
    Magicrat thank you dude. Damn someone gets is.
  • txtittyfan
    •
    15 years ago
    Must be his style, or lack thereof. The NGV posts strike me as moronic, not humorous.
  • notgreenvegas
    •
    15 years ago
    Txtittyfan you are an idiot
  • notgreenvegas
    •
    15 years ago
    My tiny gold cowboy hat and my fake moustache will be on ebay today. Please do not contact me directly offering cash. There's no telling how much these collectors items will go for
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