Rookie Mistakes
Cackjactus
I’ve been a pretty infrequent club goer for the past 10 years. I’m from a small town, didn’t really get out much, and didn’t really go crazy in college. Most of my early strip club experiences was going to them in Grand Theft Auto. My first true club experience was back in 2013. I went with a couple of friends to Bazooka’s Showgirls in KC. Didn’t know what to expect. My buddies also knew that it was my first time, so they immediately bought my first lap dance for me (good guys right). They even picked one of the better looking ladies in there. So how did it go??? Well, I was lovestruck! Here’s a hot woman with nice, large, natural tits grinding away on me. Had I had the cash on me, she probably would’ve made a lot off of me that night. I really can’t recall any other interactions from that first night, my mind was stuck on her. We were in town for a few days, so we went back the next night, and yes, she was there again. Of course I had to get more dances from her. She was totally in to me right!? Not sure how the club is now (don’t live anywhere near there, don’t see myself going back to KC anytime soon, so haven’t really researched it), but back then $20 was two songs worth. Remember when I said it was my first time?
My buddies and I take a trip to Dallas that same month (work related). I’m riding under the assumption that ALL clubs are like Bazooka’s. Then we go to Baby Dolls. One thing about Bazooka’s they made sure to mention (and enforce) was the NO TOUCHING policy. Well we all know how the dances are at BDD. This happens to be my 3rd trip to a club, and only my second overall to visit. We’re upstairs, and I’m looking at all the action. Much bigger (and better) selection than KC in my opinion. But I’m a shy guy, so I don’t approach anyone. I’m watching my buddies go for dances, and I’m like “why can’t I get one?” I know, I know, gotta get more comfortable and don’t look like a total chode. I’m rambling. One of my friends gets this blonde bombshell with nice, big, fake tits (“I can squeeze ‘em, that’s real enough for me”) and she offers a dance. I’m like “FINALLY!” She takes me to the chairs (no fort) and starts. Much better dance than KC. She guides my hands almost everywhere. Again, I’m under the impression it’s $20 for two songs (thanks Bazooka’s). I lose track, she knows it. It takes my buddy walking over telling me it’s per song that I realized I made another mistake. We’re done, she’s like “that’s 5 songs, that’s $100.” Mistake number two (or three or five at this point) was not coming prepared with enough cash. Have to take a stroll to the atm where she’s watching and I see a bouncer kind of keeping an eye out in case I try something. I wasn’t, I paid up. I was embarrassed and a little pissed honestly. Couldn’t enjoy the night anymore. I swore I would never go back (don’t worry, I did not stick to that promise, and I’m glad I didn’t).
I had no idea what to look for, what questions to ask, or just how to read a situation. I’ve been to a couple other clubs over the years, a few in Oklahoma and some in DFW. I don’t make the same mistakes as I used to (I still let little head make too many decisions). I don’t really know if any of my experiences really warrant a full review of the clubs I do go to. My last trip was back in October of 2022 so it’s not like it’s too recent. I just thought I’d share some experiences from my first few clubs to give you all a good laugh. I went back to Bazooka’s in 2015 I believe. No, my first love wasn’t there. I was much smarter the second time and did enjoy myself. Read reviews, do research, and don’t be like me and go into these places naive. Thanks for reading I guess? Don’t really know how to end this, so I’ll leave you with a joke….
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