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How Strip Clubs Helped Me Build Confidence

Monday, June 14, 2021 11:07 AM
I had absolutely zero social skills growing up. None whatsoever. I was always friendly, and if you talked to me I would respond back, but otherwise I wouldn't say a word. In my family, there wasn't any conversations of how school went or anything thought provoking. I never knew that chit chat was a thing since one around me did it, and I thought it was a waste of time when I saw people do it. In college, those zero social skills resulted in some pretty cringeworthy moments. One time, a girl asked to sleep over knowing that my none of my roommates were there. We watched a movie on the couch, and she tried to get close. It wasn't that I was too scared to look at her or put my arm around her (though I probably was that too), it was that I was so stupid, that the thought of doing so never even crossed my mind. When the movie finished, I setup a blanket and pillow for her to sleep on it. I became that nice guy friend that girls would turn to when their boyfriends were being shitty. Post college, my friend introduced me to strip clubs. He would go all the time, and spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars each visit. At the time, I couldn't afford anything close, so usually I was hanging out at the table waiting for him. I remember the feeling when girls sat down next to me, starting the small talk, working their way to selling a dance, and then seeing how fast they would leave when I said 'I'm good,' knowing that I couldn't afford them. Sometimes my friend bought me dances to get me involved, and it would be dead silence with the girl until a "thanks" at the end. I decided that while I was there, I would try to prolong the small talk so I didn't sit alone while my friend was getting dances. Over the course of many future visits, I became better at the chatter. At this time, I was able to afford dances, but I didn't see the value in them, so I stuck with drinks. I became that guy that girls sat with to hang out with over some drinks (something I was willing to buy) when the club was slow. Fast forward to today - my job requires meeting new clients and checking in with my staff. I find that a lot of the conversation starters and finishers that I used in the strip clubs are the same ones I used today.

9 comments

  • minnow
    3 years ago
    Another DB post passing as an article. What's next- "How A Bathroom Troll Taught Me How To Dry My Hands"?
  • Nixur68
    3 years ago
    Honestly, it sounds weird but I have had the exact same experience. It's hard to describe but contrary to popular belief not everyone in strip club is a PL and you meet some wild, crazy, super cool interesting people. The worst thing that has even happen to me is getting ripped off but I've wasted my money on worse things. It's left me for the better. And brought my out of (former) introverted shell.
  • Papi_Chulo
    3 years ago
    Yeah – the growing-up years can be tough for many when they don’t exactly fit in with the majority and thus are unable to develop the right amount of social-skills and confidence. I think strip-clubs can help these type of guys at least be able to start coming a bit out of their shell – it’s not the end-all-be-all but it’s better than not having that/any social-outlet – but they also need to guard a bit against a false-sense-of-security since strip-clubs are not the real-world – perhaps SCs can be seen as practice per se vs some kinda of solution/magic-bullet.
  • TheBigG330
    3 years ago
    Thanks for being honest even if it offended some. People are twisted in all places, and all types. Strippers or people who work in clubs are not all POS, some might be more jaded than others and some might be more hungry for the all mighty dollar but that’s their job. Sorry to rant on your post lol, networking isn’t easy so kudos to you, and you probably helped some girl too.
  • Dan3635
    3 years ago
    Great post ei9ghtball! There are lots of different ways to live and different ways to grow up. Your path isn’t better or worse necessarily. I haven’t learned things in the “normal” way and sometimes I think my way is much much better. If you’ve ever watched the pick up artists videos they talk a lot about “inner game”. I’ve never used their advice for hitting on girls in bars. But their social skill tips have been excellent. For example, raising your eyebrows when you meet someone in the first few seconds can change the dynamic of the conversation. It’s strange little things like that. I bet you learned mannerisms and vocal pacing tricks just by talking to dancers. Great topic. Keep it up and ignore the trolls.
  • Jascoi
    3 years ago
    I’m still growing up
  • san_jose_guy
    3 years ago
    A very good and forthright article. I also feel that I learned how to talk to pretty girls in strip clubs, our Sunnyvale Hip Hugger. When I was in college I would not have gone to strip clubs. For one thing I did not have any money. For another, there were young women all around me. But this does not mean that the interactions were positive. SJG
  • wallanon
    2 years ago
    Lol minnow. It's not the worst article that's ever been posted here. My take is it works as an article if they guy wasn't looking to start a conversation about it. Plus there's a lot of discussion board post starters that go on and on and I'm wondering why they didn't post it as an article.
  • OrangeClown
    2 years ago
    Any know why the mods removed @Desertcunt's article "How barnyard animals helped me build confidence"
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minnow
Not an Article. Should be posted on Discussion Board

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