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Muddy

USA

Just to start off, as a general rule, everything in my last guide on messaging strippers, do the EXACT OPPOSITE and you should be good. I'm still doing community service for the research on that one. Although I don't like to call this a guide necessarily, I would need empirical data to support something like that, I don't have it. I just kind of do what works for me and go with that. It is written as if I am talking to myself and thinking it through. So that's what this is, just sort of what I do and it's a chance to compare/contrast notes. Everybody is different and there are many way to skin a cat. For the record I'm not skinning the cat, I'm not gonna cuddle with it either but I am just gonna let it live and do it's thing. I will name it Garfield though. Anyway that's enough of this bullshit lets begin, the art of texting strippers.

-Success, you got a stripper's number! You were the 5th guy she gave that too today! Hooray! Now what do you do with it. Do you message her incessantly about wedding plans? Do you delete her number immediately? Do you send dick pics? Or do you message the next time your really horny for ITC or OTC? Yeah that one is probably what I do.

-First off it should be noted, that strippers are day to day, week to week beings. So whatever's going on in her life maybe completely different if you hit her up next month. My point here, don't be afraid to give it another shot, what's one answer one week, maybe a different one the next. Within reason of course, lets not cross the creepy line or get too incessant.

-Get down to business. You can always call for back up aka $$$. I'm not opposed to saying "Hey what you doing tonight?" or something along those lines but understand there are probably more men in her life texting those same things. What separates you from the pack is you will bring in numbers. So if a text goes unanswered I just say hey something like "Hey I got $300 if you wanna chill later" That send a jolt that turns an non reply into a "YES WHEN&WHERE?!?!?!"

-I always like to frame offers to make them look better with activities to make that money offer of $200 look better. For example, lets go out, get drinks, good food and have fun. To her this could mean, go out(strolling down 5th ave all sexy), get drinks ($20 Vegas bombs) good food (table at Rao's) but to you it's probably just pulling into the Taco Bell drive thru. And it just morphs into that during the night because it's just easier or next time we'll go all out or we just both wanna go to bed already. It ends up making space where you can cut corners and save a little bit, where as you can't do that on the cash part. I'm not trying to lie or scheme but I'm just using others people's imaginations to my advantage. Of course a lot of girls see right through this and only care about $$$. And some just want to be in and out like gangbusters (or at least you be in and out and then you get the fuck out, leave your money as fast as possible)

-Getting asked for favors. Depends on the relationship but for the most part 99% it's no. I used to respond with something like "We're not at that level yet" type answer but now I've morphed into just giving them what they would give me, which is no answer. Something happened in her life and it's probably a mass text anyway. Don't be the PL raising his hand.

-I'm not going to get too into the content of what your actually writing and how it's written. Everybody's different. But for me personally, I like to live and die on humor. If it works for me, it goes along way in loosening people up and making them more comfortable around you. But sometimes it bombs (aka my life on TUSCL) or goes right over there head and it comes off as awkward "wait what????" If I have serious answer in my head or a BS clever answer I'll go with the latter most times. I feel like it might be saving me money and that's what puts me to sleep at night. Just try to pick your spots and don't be annoying with it though that'll end anything before it begins.

-If I'm feeling OTC that day I'll text early but not too early. I don't like being one of those messages you read when your half asleep and forget about and I also need a few hours to realize it's a no answer and I need to move to plan B. So I'll shoot text around noonish to twoish AKA stripper dawn. Then by around 6 I'll have an idea of which direction I'm going out in that night.

-Too add to the above, if it's not the day of, I'll do the day before and see what she's got going on tomorrow. For the strippers/sbs in my life anything further away than that is too far out/hopeless. That could change though, I guess it would depend on who your talking to.

-OTC I like to avoid Friday/Saturday and just stick to odd days like a random Tuesday or Wednesday because the chances are lot less that they got something else going on.

-I abide by general texting etiquette, i.e. if she's giving you one word answers don't respond with a manifesto and if she's taking 40 minutes to respond, don't respond back in .2 nanoseconds. Give a couple minutes. In these situations, don't appear desperate and being super horny you kind of just naturally are that way sometimes, you want to get it done I know, but don't let that show, they could use that enthusiasm against you.

-Also don't stack a bunch of messages where it looks like your talking to yourself. That shit looks so crazy. If she ain't responding after like a couple just move on. Come back to it another week.

-double, triple, even quadruple booking. This is texting to meet up with multiple strippers at one time. I kind of do it. I'll text 4 strippers. Hey wyd tn? It takes hours for them to sometimes respond anyway, so I don't want to wait on baited breath for one particular girl to get back to me. I'm trying to diversify my OTC portfolio for the day. Most of them are going to fall through anyway.

-On that point, I wouldn't plan my day around OTC stuff. I usually have an idea for the day, with the strip club always as the baseline fall back, but I look at OTC or a specific ITC as something that could pull me away from that because damn it just falls through so much. Especially with SB's you haven't met yet. At the very last minute they decide you need to send them money for their safety to meet. God fucking dammit I could've already been at the strip club. But it's all expected to fall through anyway and the contingency plan is already in place then I just reroute like it's nothing.

-I would avoid too many emojis. Look dude your not a fucking Teletubby, your trying to fuck this girl.

-I would also avoid too much action stuff like *walks into the bar* unless it's truly funny. I've seen a lot cringey edgelord stuff online and I think girls see that too, it may come off creepier than you think it sounds.

-Dirty talk is way better in person IME. Unless your trying to use some sort process of elimination or it's just something you got to have, I've had more success just saying it person. They might not read sexting like your hearing it in your head.

-As far as ITC your going to get "Hey baby come see me tonight" I am not dropping whatever I'm doing and running to the club. I am not Dominoes 30 minutes or less. (that used to be me though) I *might* come through later, if I feel like it (oh I'm coming but they don't know that.) To be completely honest, if your a dancer I'm coming to ITC, it means your out of this world gorgeous, ITC I'm more into variety with those few exceptions. But they aren't gonna know that. If you treat these girls like a celebrity they're gonna treat you like a fan. The point is nobodies got me on a leash.

-Don't get into nasty back and forths. There are things you may say that she might not like like lowballing or something like that. Women are little bit more emotional, so they may feel the need to bring some sass along with their rejection to you. I just keep it light. "It's all good, no worries" or "yeah I feel you" I don't hold no grudges. I'll just hit them up down the road when they calm down from a different angle and possibly a different price point.

-On the above point, anything negative that happened before, if your still interested just hit them up as if nothing happened. There's a good chance they forgot or just was that time of the month.

-Texting is not the only avenue. I'm not really a social media guy either, but these girls all are. Any girl under 35 is into it. So it may pay off just to have a snapchat (the pics/messages delete so they may be more comfortable messaging on there), instagram, skype, kik is another big one. All these platforms are good to have incase the stripper your talking to would feel more comfortable on there.

-We all haven't been texting for too too long like maybe the last 10-15 years or so but it's something we do constantly now and maybe in some cases do it more than talking. Language itself has sort evolved in that world so for the guys who aren't as in touch with the lingo just google the phrase. For example wyd=what you doin. hbu=how bout you ttyl=talk to you later idc=I don't care etc.

-I turn off my read receipts. I don't need these girls knowing when I'm ignoring them and neither do you!

Thanks for reading. Feel free to criticize and blast away. To the strippers on this site who now know my VH1 Behind the IPhone story, if you would please https://media.giphy.com/media/R7m04yMaGW…

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