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Interesting start to an article, I know. I have discovered how to be invisible at a strip club. It's an amazing sensation, sitting, staring at beautiful women sauntering past. One by one, they pass by. Sometimes looking forward, as if they have somewhere to be: sometimes checking their phone, as if they'll make more money on their phone; sometimes checking out the booth or the table next to me; occasionally checking out the table behind me. When I say invisible, I don't mean completely invisible. Magically the waitress can see me and the bouncers politely nod at me. Then, there is the occasional unicorn stripper that looks my way and approaches, but for the most part the girls appear to look right through me.

And I'm sure you're wondering, how can I be invisible at a strip club? Unfortunately it's easier than you'd think. My wife and I are in our 40's and have been going to strip clubs together for the past few years. We started in Vegas, then in our home town, then on vacations. We enjoy our time, as I've shared in previous reviews and discussions. Our m.o. is simple. We typically go early (late evening) and enjoy the shift change from afternoon shift to night shift. When the club has good food, we love our "dinner at the club", and the show is usually more entertaining than people watching at a vanilla restaurant.

I digress. Evidently there are so many strippers that are freaked out by couples that they don't know how to handle themselves,. Childishly, they simply pretend like you're not there. The unicorns have shared with us that some of the girls fear that the wife is there reluctantly; they fear the wife's jealousy, sometimes the husband's jealousy; some just don't know what to do with another girl.

During a recent visit to a strip club, it actually got so bad, we were on the aisle with girls walking by and there was a guy sitting at a table behind us. There were so many girls passing by and just looking the other way. I felt bad for the guy, as if I was "cock-blocking" him. I know what some of you are going to say, you need to be more aggressive and approach the girl you want. We've tried that. Too often we get a girl that doesn't know how to handle a couple and all we get is disappointment.

We've had some, unusual, girls dance for us. Many of whom are not our style. The most unusual, for us, was a goth girl, tattoos, black makeup, definitely not our style. She approached us, excited, and we decided to go along. She was the last dance of the evening that night. She got us so worked up, we immediately left and went back to be together.

We've developed "rules", or ways of detecting whether or not we've found a unicorn. First, and foremost, if the girl approaches me first, we typically do not get dances. It's kind of like "guy code" for girls. Girls should show respect for other girls. The dancers that approach my wife first and get cozy with her, have been the best. Many times they will ask my wife's permission to sit on my lap or question which one of us would like a dance first. Thankfully my wife not only cooks and cleans, but she takes excellent care of me, as well. The unicorn will say that she "loves couples". The best of them will not charge double for a couples dance. When they're giving me a dance, they spend a lot of time looking at my wife. During my dance, they also touch my wife; tits, thigh, hair. They'll take her hand and have her touch them, and many times encourage my wife to touch me (thankfully she doesn't need much encouragement there). When they're dancing for her, they're looking at her, and hands are moving around more freely. For me, that's hot!

So, our invisibility ensues and we endure it. We wait quietly, patiently for the elusive unicorn stripper to wander past us, bringing the joy that only a mythical creature can provide.