Starting in December 2012, I made a foray into the world of sugar daddies and sugar babies, trying to determine whether a mutually beneficial sugar arrangement would be a better alternative to going to strip clubs several times per month. This article will focus on my findings and observations in the sugar bowl.
I had paid memberships on Seeking Arrangement, Sugar Daddy For Me, Arrangement Finders, and several other websites on and off over the course of the last three and a half years. Out of all of them, I spent the most time and money on Seeking Arrangement, since it had the best user ergonomics in terms of doing searches and not showing profiles that had been inactive for several years. Sugar Daddy For Me and Arrangement Finders tended to have fake accounts to drum up sign-ups and also kept around profiles that had been abandoned 7 or 8 years ago! My target demographic was 20 to 25 year old girl next door types.
I learned there is a wide range of what the women on these sites are willing to offer. I found you could categorize the sugar babies into one of the following six groups on a continuum:
- Straight-up escorts using sugar baby websites as just another marketing channel.
- Non-pros who just want cash for sex, no dating or hanging out. They would compartmentalize a few hours of their time from the rest of their life to essentially be a hooker because the money is quicker and easier than working a real job.
- Sugar babies who are keen to the sexual aspects of a sugar relationship, but would like the relationship aspects as well.
- Sugar babies who want the sugar relationship and may be open to including sex with it at a later time.
- Sugar babies who want a non-sexual arrangement: to be your arm candy, companionship, platonic dates, etc. This makes up a good chunk of the young women, and a lot of them disappear after a while, just because the vast majority of sugar daddies are expecting sex as part of an arrangement.
- Babies with no intention of ever meeting. They might be looking to exchange pictures and videos for money. They might be cam girls trying to drum up business. They might be scammers telling you to buy something on their Amazon.com wish list. They may be girls using the website just for entertainment, since women can use these websites for free, while men have to pay.
The true sugar babies from the middle four categories of my continuum above could be further classified into one of four general groups in terms of their desperation and need for financial support:
- About to be evicted, phone and utilities turned off, very desperate for cash. She is ready to go ASAP.
- Working a low-paying job and/or attending college and struggling to make ends meet. They need help with bills and tuition.
- Working a job and can support themselves, but would like some extra income for luxuries, shopping, and to pay off student loans.
- Already live comfortably, but want rich guys to buy them expensive cars, condos, and exotic vacations for them and their girlfriends. This category tends to have the highest GPS and is searching for the highest bidder.
TIME The way the sugar daddy-sugar baby websites work is such that the men have to pay by the month to use the websites, but women can use the websites for free. This means a good proportion of the women are on the websites like it is some sort of free entertainment, trying to figure out how much their pussy is worth. The percentage of sugar babies that will converse to the point of setting up an actual meet and greet is small. And once you plan to meet in person, many of the sugar babies will flake or make excuses, wasting your precious time. Searching, screening, writing messages, and meeting all take up a lot of time and the rewards reaped rarely justified the time wasted.
The way strip clubs work is such that the entertainers are independent contractors who have to pay the club to work there. Men can come to the strip clubs for free or a trivial cover charge. Strippers are the ones who have to worry about their time being wasted when patrons show up and just want to nurse a beer and not spend any money. Generally speaking, if I go to a mid-tier club or better, I will find a dancer that has made the trip worth it. Intelligence for an upcoming strip club visit can be gathered through TUSCL within only ten minutes. If a club does not deliver, you just hop to the next one.
Verdict: Advantage to Strip Clubs
AMBIGUITY There is a lot of ambiguity of what a sugar relationship entails in the eye of a female as I highlighted above on my continuum. Every single sugar relationship was different. Some young women thought they should be given $1,000 to be your arm candy at dinner. Some wanted to bang once a week for an amount that would cover their monthly rent and utilities. Some thought they should be sent money and gifts to be an online or virtual sugar baby, whatever that is supposed to mean. Some have no clue what they want. Heck, I even had one girl who fell for me and just wanted to be my girlfriend. The different scenarios, service and pricing, are as unique as the sugar babies themselves. I also noticed certain phrases were also interpreted differently between sugar daddies and sugar babies. For example, a “casual relationship” meant sex to a lot of the men, while a “casual relationship” meant going on platonic dates to some of the women.
At a strip club, generally you know what you are going to get as long as you do a little research. For example, five dollars will get you in the door, and twenty dollars will get you a lap dance. You will know whether the club allows one-way contact, two-way contact, or all-out extras by reading the reviews on TUSCL. Sure, there are ROB’s in strip clubs. and some dancers won’t do all of the things you like, but the question of what you get and for how much is much less vague than it is when shopping for a sugar baby.
Verdict: Advantage to Strip Clubs
QUALITY When meeting a sugar baby for the first time, you are dependent on the fact that her photos and description are accurate. Unfortunately, most people lie on dating websites and the internet in general. They may put up photos of when they were thirty pounds lighter from five years ago or heavily edited pictures that do not show their flaws. They brag in their descriptions to make them sound more interesting and exciting than they really are. Over half of the women I met up with in person tended to be fatter or uglier than their pictures. A lot of the women lied or were downright deceptive on their profiles. When this occurred, I had to figure out a way to eject from the meeting or date. Some of the women were as advertised, but definitely not the majority. A lot of women communicated well online, but their in-person communication skills were severely retarded. Conversing with a millennial in person was like pulling teeth.
While strip clubs are dark and it can be hard to get a good read on a dancer's attractiveness from a distance, I think by heading up to the stage and tipping a buck or two, one can make an analysis of a dancer’s body and determine if she is up to your standards before committing any further time and money to her. If she is not up to snuff, then you can just decline her or avoid her without any complications. I also like the fact that dancers are nude or topless; there are no clothes to hide anything in contrast to women you meet in other venues. What you see is what you get. I feel like a lot of strippers have developed a gift of gab or are at least able to converse with better than a lot of their millennial peers due to the fact that talking with strangers is a big part of their livelihood.
Verdict: Advantage to Strip Clubs
VALUE It is hard to gauge whether a sugar relationship or going to strip clubs is a better financial value due to the numerous variables in play. The former may include sex or less, while the later may include a tease or more. A sugar relationship’s allowance will vary widely depending on the woman’s greed and your negotiating skills. Even amongst the various strip clubs in the United States, there is a broad range in terms of what you get for what you pay.
Verdict: Inconclusive
Despite many bad experiences in the sugar bowl, I did also have a few excellent experiences. I had some very satisfying relationships with women who were quite younger than me. All things considered, I prefer going to strip clubs over doing mutually beneficial arrangements. I feel like my time is better spent, there is less uncertainty about what I will get, and screening for quality is easier. I love going to a new club or one I have not been to in awhile because there is a thrill to the hunt. With online arrangement websites, I sat at a computer or on a smart phone and did not get the same exhilaration. For me, sugar websites are like going to the seafood counter at the grocery store, evaluating the fish behind the glass and not knowing really what to expect, and then going home and finding out that salmon did not taste as good as you thought it would. For me, going to strip clubs is like wading in the Kenai River, figuring out which lures and techniques work and don’t work, and then reeling in that monster Chinook.
Excellent survey. I too have dabbled inside the sugar baby world and not I currently have zero active accounts if that tells you anything.
My biggest successes were finding girls who didn't know what they want, but appreciated any attention you gave them because they weren't getting anywhere else. These girls were "needles in a haystack" but they did exist.
I think going after strippers is a more cost effective and quicker gratifying than a sugar baby. You can set up a relationship with a stripper which is similar to a sugar baby if that's what you so desire.
The biggest issue I found is if someone is attractive (say higher than an 8) on a sugar daddy site expected $1,000s of dollars for a simple date, where doing OTC with a 9 stripper is not hard to achieve and is probably going to be much cheaper as well.