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GACA

Un-retired: Met my ATF. Married her. Divorcing her.

Raised in a religious, well at least pseudo religious household. Taught that Eve coming from Adam's rib as a gift from God was a testament on how we should adore and protect the opposite sex. Furthermore, examples of whores turned saints only fortified this belief of the innate sanctity of a woman's soul, it was to be held in high esteem. Remember it was God's gift to men.

Freshman year high school I got my first "smack in the face" with virtues not aligning with the real world. A girl I was obsessed with had a birthday coming, I talked to her quite a bit, we were friendly, I felt like she liked me, so I went shopping the night before her birthday, and surprised her with the gifts the next day. As I handed her the gift everything else played out in slow motion, her grabbing the bag, looking inside the saying "Awe, that is so sweet". Placing the bag down at her desk the coming in to give me a kiss...on the cheek, and then a hug, and the a simple "thank you".

That was the longest 30 second of my life to that point because I knew I had done it wrong, truth be told I was warned by my older brother not to do it, but my mom encourage me otherwise. "Be nice, girls like nice guys"

Well the look in Julie's eyes read otherwise. And then a tattooed thug wigger ass muthafucka came right up behind her smacked her ass and asked what I got him for her birthday, she chuckled and said "be nice, he's nice at least he remembered my birthday asshole" He grabbed her around the waist, I'll remember your birthday later tonight"

Writing about that moment still stings a little. No, a helluva a lot actually.

Went home head hung low, had to look my older brother in the eyes. "I'm never listening to anyone other than you ever again" (turned out to be a lie)

The next girl I had my eye on I went in with a little more "I think I'm better than you" attitude. But still I was conditioned to be a "nice guy". I talked with in class for about two weeks before I got her phone number. That first phone call I had no clue what to say or even how to start a conversation. I got my older brother. He told me to calm down and give him the phone. He dialed the number asked for Sophia and started talking away. He then said he's going to switch phones, and gave it to me. She said my voice sounded different, but I just blamed it on the phone switch. Thing went smoothly then on.

After a week of talking on the phone I wanted to ask Sophie to be my girlfriend. My brother warned me it was a bad idea, but my mom told me to go for it, it would be such a sweet thing to do. I knew in my gut I should have listen to my brother, but my head was saying it was a good idea. I asked her out, a later one of her friends said I scared her and she just wanted to be friends.

Went back home, looked my brother in the eyes. "I'm sorry I ever listened to anybody else, never ever again" (another lie)

Sophie, wanting to be friendly I guess invited me to a party at her friends place. Upon my showing up she proceeded to ignore me, flirt with other guys in front of my face, and generally be a bitch. I told my friends we needed to leave, so we got going after saying bye to the friend. I could see Sophie running out the house to look for us as we were driving off.

Next school day, she asked me if I was mad at her, I told her she could go fuck herself. And kept walking. Got home told my brother, he said "oh well, fuck that dumb hoe." I asked him what if she tries to talk to me again, he laughed and said "Nah, she won't, but I'd she does...run, run far away and don't look back"

She called, she wanted me to go to her house so we could talk. Hopped on my skateboard, went over, her parents were nice enough to give us some privacy, so after a make out and titty action I went home on cloud-fucking-9.

So we were making out a school and places, one day one of her friends came up to me and said "so are you going to ask my friend out?"

I remember looking her dead in they eye right in front of Sophie and said very very stern "fuck no am I ever asking that bitch out again" (yet another lie)

I was routinely fucking Sophie, treating her like less than garbage, one day my more SIMP ass buddies who all had a crush on Sophie corner me and say that can't stand they way I treat her, and that our friendship would end unless I showed her enough respect by at least asking her to be my girlfriend. I was wrestling with the ultimatum. I didn't have a car so it was nice to have friends who could drive. My brother told me not to do it.

I remember the night I asked, she said "oh my god really? I love you" Well I felt like I had somehow traded my soul for access to rides. Anyway no less that two weeks later, the girl left her house in the middle of the night, went to party with some neighborhood guys. They all took turns. I found out the very next day when her mom called me looking for her. She'd fallen asleep at their place.

I looked my brother in the eye, "this fucking time i swear on my life...nobody else" (That was the truth)

Had a pretty good rest of high school life, and then College was pretty ridiculous. I had my heart shut off. And the more I didn't care, the more ass I got. Can't really say I completely enjoyed it, internally it was eating me up inside, but fuck it, I was fucking.

It's been almost 15 years since my college days. I got married for a spell, divorce, hit a dry spell, and now I'm mostly dealing with strippers.

I'm one of those guys who don't believe in the virtues of women. I hate to admit that I don't trust women not to misbehave when a guy tries to be nice and respectful. I'm also a guy who doesn't want to spend the energy it takes to keep a bitch in check, it's too fucking exhausting. So I'm dealing with strippers more than civilians now day. I cop my feel, have a few drinks and laughs, and at the end of the day. I haven't the drama I seem to find in most of the relationships I've been in.