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GACA

Un-retired: Met my ATF. Married her. Divorcing her.

I'm a follower of The System. I absolutely believe those who don't heed The Word won't be getting OTC 35% of the time when the end of 18 months come around.
My first time out using The System I got to pay a stripper to offer me an above-the-pants simulated BJ. What can I say I'm a fast learner :)
I don't alway wear a nice WHITE 3 piece suit, but I always wear a nice 3 piece suit. Per RBD, a suit will make you well noticed in many clubs and opens up your options dramatically, particularly in the right clubs. But remember I have to spend like a heavyweight, and not just look like one, I am faking the part of a friendly but sucessful business person.
Since I am looking for Love from these hoes, eventually I know after 18 months they're gonna love me so much they're gonna allow me pay them to have sex with me.
So My next outing was a little dive bar right next to a downtown civic center. If asked, I would tell the girls I'm just in town for a conference. It was the perfect spot. I saw a super hot stipper on stage just waiting for her rotation to start, a fat ugly one on her phone, and the bartender was a little hot thing as well.

Me : "Hey there, so I don't want the champagne"

I know this funny bit is gonna be a great ice breaker and she'll think I'm hilarious and maybe will just give me her number for OTC later

BT: "Huh?"

Me: "I don't want the champagne"

BT: "What are you talking about, ugh.. we don't even serve champagne"

Me: "Haha, that's really nice of you guys, that shit gets a little tricky"

BT: "Huh? whatever... what are drinking? "


Now to impress her with my drink of choice

Me: "Haha, can I get a Remy"


BT: "WTF... Ewww "


Me: "What? I love Remys.. So how much?"

BT: "Ewww oh my fuck'n god perv "


Me: "Ha ok. Not sure why you're playing so hard but i just want a Remy and I want it now"


BT: "You're a sick fuck I'm not licking you anywhere ..you need to leave"

Shit, WTF I thought I was ordering an expensive drink. OMG, what if she tell these other girls I'm a perv? God why didn't I just order beer. Shit this might be game over before it started.

What would RBD do? OK I have to make myself look like less of a perv, more of a friendly and successful business man.

Me: "I'm so sorry I'm not a perv or anything I'm just in town for business, actually my first time ever, umm... here's like $20, just get me a glass of water"


BT: "Haha..I was just messing with'ya, we don't have Remy Martin but thanks for the nice tip, here's your water hehe"


Me: "Ya. No problem, thanks, so where does a successful businessman who's just breezing through town, such as myself, go to have a little fun around here, I was just at a conference. .."


BT: "Hey mister, we're not a whore house here"


Me: " ya, no, I was just like, no, not at all, here's another $20, can I just get another water"


BT: "You're fckn weird, but thanks for the nice tips hehe"

Fat Ugly Stipper: "Hey Bella, fuck it's dead in here, and wtf this fucker is just in here sipping on fuck'n water? Gaddam we don't get naked for free asshole why you ordering water, if you're that cheap you should not have come through the door asshole, ugh cheap thrills mutha fuckers I swear"

Chains her cigarette

Me: cough.. "No, I order a rem...never mind"

F.U.S: "So what? You gonna just sit there" drags cigarettes "... for a free peep show" exhaust smoke ".. or you gonna get a dance?"


Me: cough cough "sorry" cough "umm, I just got here and well to be honest I just kinda wanted to relax a bit and sorta check the vibe first" simultaneously waving hand to clear the ensuing fog

F.U.S: exhausts fog "..and you walked into a strip club, stop being a perv and buy a dance"


Me: "ya umm" cough "just I don't want to feel pressured right now" cough "i just.."

FUS: "oh so what you're a fckn creeper just here to molest thin pretty girls fucking jack-off weirdo?"

Shit shes making a goddam scene. God how to handle this...

Me: "ok just one dance and thats it" cough

F.U.S: "alright you ready?"


I grab my water she leads me to the lap dance area where I can still see the stage. The super hot stipper still waiting. This is good she gonna see that I'm not a perv and I'm really here to respect these girls. God she gonna be so impressed that she just might...

FUS: "hey! What are you into tits or ass"

Me: "huh.. No I'm here to chill just do whatever you want"

FUS : "No it's your money you tell me what you like"

Me: "no.. Wel.. I was just being nice, you said you needed a dance and I..."

FUS: "oh fuck you asshole I don't need no charity money. I'm not a pity case"

Me: "oh ok well.. In that case

FUS: "oh so you're one of thos jerks that think fat girls means I'm ugly"

Me :"whoa I didn't say anything like that. Look I agreed to this dance and.."

FUS: "Ya and now you're not even bothering to look at me" pulls out her hanging to her belly flabby boobs nipples pointing to the floor "what you think I shouldn't be here" as tears start to swell

Me: "I didn't say.. Ok here $40 that's enough for two dances. Let's just..."

FUS: beaming smiles "oh you want two dances"

Me: "No I'm.. listen here's $60 I'm just gonna go back to the bar and..."

FUS: "No you paid for three dances and I'm gonna give you three dances. I don't do hand out. I work for my mine"

By now two other guys have walked in. The super hot stripper is starting her stage rotation

Me: "Um.. Ok let's do this quick"

FUS: "ok so just sit back and relax"

I was trying to watch the stage but it was hard to look around the behemoth. Fuck I just want to take a quick break tip the stripper on stage so she knows I'm interested

Me: "hey I'm gonna get up real quick and..
FUS:" we got two more songs"

Just my luck. Super hot stripper is talking to another customer before my lap dance (well air dance shes to heavy to be on my lap) is done.

Ok so I'll just have to wait at the bar.

Me: "he can I get another water"

BT: "here you go.. That's $20 dollars please :)"

Me: "ya... Here. So when is that girl going to be back on stage?"

BT: "well that's her regular customer she's talking to he spends big money on her. So she'll be back on stage when he leaves maybe like an hour or so"

Me: "hmm... Ok well keep the water coming"

FUS: "hey Bella I have my tip out tonite and the one I owed for yesterday and the day before"

BT: "shit bitch you still owe two more months hehe"

FUS: "ya well there's nothing but limp dick faggets in here, nobody's trying to get a dance. They just waiting for Jasmine because everybody knows she's an extras bitch and I don't fucking suck dick like her. But not this guy here he's a gentleman, he's a real man. Hey do you want me to do some more dances for you"

Me: "umm.. No I'm just relaxing seeing what's here."

FUS: "omfg.. I just told you what's here. A disease infested skank that sucks every one off in the VIP, and me, a woman who respects herself and respects your body and doesn't trick herself off to customers"

Me: "ya I'm just.. Relaxing for now"

FUS: " well fuck... I thought you were gentleman turning out to be like every other perv sick fuck"

Me: " I'm just trying to relax. I don't want to feel pressure to get dances cuz I'll hate that experience and I don't want to hate that experience"

FUS: " can always tell who the dirty motherfukers are cuz they don't want to get dancing with me because I'm clean dancer. Jasmine.. she's a fucking extras bitch"

BT: "Boo, you got me cracking up girl"

Me: "ha.. I'm just.. I think I'm gonna get out here now but come back a little later when there's more girls"

BT: "ha... These two are it for tonight. Everyone else called in sick."

FUS: "Well there's a conference... gotta work they Backpage. Bitches are dirty"

Super Hot Stripper: "hey Bella, i got Bills usual hour in VIP. And then those guys over there got an hour plus they want you to do a double"

BT:" I gotta watch the bar"

SHS: "hey mister, make sure nobody steals anything we gonna be right back"

FUS: "omfg this is bullshit. How come I can't come. Make those guys buy me a dance too"

SHS: "ok I'll ask... Bella... Come on"

OK. Now at least I know that both the bartender and super hot stripper do extras. I think I might hang out for a bit.

FUS: "so do you want me to do a dance"

Me: Feeling confident with a built-in excuse "you know I would but I gotta watch the bar"

FUS. "it ok I'll do a bar dance for you"

Me: "ok i guess. Just one more though"

She pulls her bags of sags out yet again. I try not to vomit. On the plus side. I can go ti beer tap and pour myself a few.

New customer #1: "hey I need a bud"

FUS: "hey am I still dancing for you?"

Me: "a bud ya here... And No just the one"

NC1: "I'm getting two actually"

Me: "Two ok ya"

FuS:" so two more?"

Me:"no I was talking to him"

New Customer #2: "Hey can I get a mick ultra"
Me: "I don't work here I'm just watching the bar"

BT: "whew... Fuck it's been a while since I did VIP. Oh shit did you write down what you served out"

Me: "not really but so far two buds and a mick ultra"

BT: "ok but you have to write it down here. Thats how I keep track. Hey how many beers have you been drinking?"

Me:" I didn't get a chance to actually"
BT: "good, no drinking behind the bar. Ok just keep track. I gotta another VIP and maybe just one more after that. You're super cool. I'll be right back."

FUS: "hey Bella make one of those guys buy me a VIP... Shit that bitch is playing on my money" She goes to the back

New Customer# 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.....38

BT: "Holy shit girls we had the best night"

SHS: "Fuck ya we did, bitch you need to come out from behind the bar more. Fuck it's already almost closing time"

Me: "ya so it got super busy while you were away and I tried to write down everything. So anyway I'm actually ready to get my dance now"

BT: "Jasmine I gotta count out, I can't"

SHS: "shit bitch I've been working all night it's Boo's turn"

BT: "Malibu Sangria get your fat ass out here there's a customer who wants VIP before we close"

FUS: Running from the back.. "it's about time you bitches came through. Hi there you come here often?"

Me: "Wait. Sorry I've been here all day watching the bar, and waiting patiently to take one of you two to VIP. I don't usually insist but, I did my part and now"

SHS: "fuck don't gotta cry about it. K it's $160 for the room and $100 for my tip"

FuS: "hey now I remember you were here earlier. You still owe me for two dances"

Me:" ok here $40 to you... And here's... Wait.. Here's $240? .. Shit. Wait I only actually owe you one dance.

FUS:" fuck that you ain't taking my money from me"

Me:" ok well i have $240"

SHS: "baby I need all of it I'm already tired"

Me: "but I... I... But I really only owed her for the one"

SHS: "Boo stop being a bitch. Take him to the VIP your broke ass needs the money"

FuS: "ok. Come Mr. I gotta hurry up and suck your dick before my babies daddy pick me up"

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So not exactly as planned but the 2nd time out using the System, and I did get a BBCIMBJ. Starting to feel like a rich stud Gordon Gecko now.