That Moment In Time

avatar for seawa
seawa
Nevada
That moment in time when you know you're about to cheat and you know you shouldn't, but you do. This time period can be gone in seconds, of take quite a while. What do we think about in that moment? For me a lot of things went through my mind but for me it happened so fast, I can only now reflect and truly think about the moment.
The definition of what is actually cheating can be debated forever. For me I will say that when I got a hand job from a woman that wasn't my wife, that was cheating. I look at it this way: if another man did the equivalent to my wife, would I think she was cheating? Hell yes.
I was at a club in VIP. It was my first time with a great looking blonde. 5'7" athletic build and great fake D cups. She gave a great lap dance and let me touch and suck all over. Now, isn't my sucking her tits and touching her all over cheating too? According to my previous statement, yes, but like I said, that's a whole other article.
When I say it happened really fast, I meant it. At some point she dropped to her knees and did the normal head in your crotch routine. Within seconds she just opened up my pants and pulled out my dick. I was shocked and I think she noticed. My mind was racing. Is this really happening? How far is she going to go? Is she just teasing me for more money? And then finally, am I about to cheat on my wife? She asked if I could control myself and let her know in time when I was going to cum. I said yes.
That was the moment for me. At that point I made the decision that I was going to cheat on my wife. She gave me an awesome hand job that I'm sure I will never forget. Now, I definitely feel bad about it and I know this is rationalization, but it got me really turned on to be with my wife. That's my excuse I suppose. I shouldn't have done it, but I did. In that moment I could have declined but even if I declined that night, I probably would have accepted in the future.
That was my first ITC experience and I know I will have the opportunity for more. The question is, what will that moment be like for a BJ or FS? Where is my line drawn? Do I have a line?

13 comments

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avatar for joeybanana
joeybanana
9 years ago
I hear ya, seawa. I've had one hand job from a stripper--by far the cheatiest I've been on my longtime partner, baby-mama, and co-owner of our house--but I'm increasingly tempted to go much further, and with "civilian" women (assuming I could pull it off). If I were ever in the position to cheat seriously, I gravely doubt I'd be able to resist, even though I know that if my partner found out, it would devastate my family life ( including my precious young kids!). What's a horny, supposedly monogamous guy to do?
avatar for gawker
gawker
9 years ago
About 30 years ago I'd been married for 20 years and had never cheated. I was 40 and my wife had had a hysterectomy three years earlier. Following that surgery her sex drive was gone - gone more than two children had interfered with our connubial bliss.
I had taken on a three month project with a 29 year old woman as my partner and she was a 5'8" slim Scandanavian blonde who had recently divorced. We were together at least 6 hours per day and after several weeks we knew we were enjoying each other's company and our joking started to take on a sexual overtone. I was fed up at home and looked forward to time at work. In frustration I left home and rented a small apartment. Within a week I was at my workmates apartment, sharing drinks, when she asked if I'd like to snort is line of coke with her. I'd done my share of drugs in the 60's, but never cocaine. Well, I loved it and she turned me on like no other ever had and I quickly learned that sex while high on coke with the prettiest woman I'd ever been with was incomparable. She loved sex and I started staying at her place. The first night I slept all night with her I awoke at 3:00 am with her sucking my dick. She let me cum in her mouth and swallowed every drop. She had a new sports car and she'd let me drive when we went out together. In a restaurant, every man would turn and look at her as we walked to a table. This was living!
I made an appointment with a college friend who was now a divorce attorney. He and I talked freely about my "good fortune" and he reviewed my assets, income and earning potential. He noted two young children, a stay at home wife, lack of family assets and clearly told me that if I divorced I would need a second job nights and weekends in order to afford a studio apartment and a 10 year old beater. This reality slap led me into marriage counseling and to long discussions with my wife. She made a greater effort to be a better sex partner but she and I knew it wouldn't last. One night she told me that she wanted us to stay married and if she couldn't fulfill my "needs" she'd look the other way so long as I didn't rub her nose in it.
As I started traveling for work I started seeing escorts and after many years of blow jobs and sex from professionals who were mostly strangers I realized that having a mistress or sugar baby would be much better than I'd been experiencing.
The whole question of "cheating" never really entered my mind. It was selfish on my part and continues to be selfish in that I've focused on my needs and wants rather than on "our" or her needs and wants, but she has no interest or desire to have a sex life. I've questioned whether this is just a rationalization on my part, and to some extent I suppose it is, but it's my reality.
avatar for joeybanana
joeybanana
9 years ago
Wow, I appreciate your honesty. Long-term, committed relationships are hard, and it's good to hear about the different ways people cope...
avatar for rogertex
rogertex
9 years ago
deep stuff ... we should remind ourselves god put just enough blood in mans body to have one head working at a time. In the galactic scheme of things sex is petty stuff. Savor the moment
avatar for GACA
GACA
9 years ago
Great article, I was married for a brief five years. After 1.5 years into it, couldn't stand the wife felt like she was holding me back, didn't have the same sex drive, and quite honestly she let herself go. It happened to me at work if all places. I was flirting with a coworker pretty hard. At one point we were alone in the service elevator, and I just had an impulse come over me to grab her and kiss her. Thought it was going to stop there till she pulled my zipper down pulled out my dick, and told me she wasn't wearing panties. I remember sliding in to her thinking, damn all I wanted to do was kiss and feel her tits. So there we were fucking in the elevator, she got off, I never did, felt nervous and guilty all at the same time....but I got over that the second and third times.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
9 years ago
I'm just glad indontnhave to deal with questions like this.
avatar for Meursault
Meursault
9 years ago
If it feels like cheating, than it is cheating. It may still be cheating even if it doesn't feel like it, but if it does, it definitely is. Best to avoid temptation if you know you can't resist.
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
9 years ago
It'll get easier for you the more you do it. Don't lose too much emotional energy over and just be as careful as you can.
avatar for loco1love
loco1love
9 years ago
Cheating for a guy would be to stop caring for his wife and diverting funds, energy and love to someone else. Sex at a strip club is not really cheating, it is low, but it not cheating. For men sex is like hunting or eating. There is no feelings attached to the act -- it is primitive. I think it is a curse we need to live with and accepting that this is part of life will make us a better person, whether we choose to avoid it or happen to fall into it. Many times it is also a natural reaction to cope with an abusive or frigid wife.
avatar for seawa
seawa
9 years ago
Great variety of responses.

As I said, my time with girls at the club really does get me more excited for my wife. I think it reminds me of what is possible sexually. Being married, I think we stray from those initial exciting sexual adventures. This happens for a number of reasons; routine, children, work, physical changes etc. Meeting with a girl in the club on a purely sexual basis is refreshing. Now, I know a woman would never agree with this, but it is how I honestly feel.
My guilty feelings are subsiding. I know that it is wrong, but I also know that I am not going to stop going to the club. So far I have done everything but intercourse with a dancer, I won't know how I react to that opportunity until it arises.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
I'm late reading the articles, but I struggled for years with cheating on my wife at strip clubs. But each time I passed up an opportunity, I'd come home and she'd refuse to meet my needs. Again. We talked, I begged, we had counseling, and absolutely nothing ever changed. So then I started letting the strippers meet my needs. It started with an LDK, then handjob, then titty fucking, then blow job, then fucking, then finally OTC. I'd feel guilty sometimes, and I would've stopped if she'd been more sexual for me. She tried a few times, it'd last a week or two, and then she's back to being the ice queen in bed. Finally, once I got good at getting strippers OTC, there just didn't seem to be much reason to have a wife anymore. We are divorcing and with my new freedom I'm having the best sex of my life.

In my opinion, now that you've gotten a taste of how good it can be, you won't be able to stop unless she finds a way to be the sexual partner that she should be. Sure you could stop clubbing for a while, but the ice queen will eventually push you back to strippers. Once I figured out how this cycle worked, I just ignored the guilt and kept clubbing cause I knew she would drive me back there again.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
Kodos to JS69 for making the careful and conscientious decision and doing what was necessary. It is never easy to do what he has done.

But that he has done it, and done it responsibly and ethically, shows in his character.

SJG
https://sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/
avatar for FullPress
FullPress
9 years ago
Jeez-zus. This is where I am going to make NO friends, but everyone chiming in here is a guy. believe me, just fucking believe me, if you don't have clearance with your wife, when she finds out, you are fucked and your life will be a living HELL. So do the right thing. Tell her what's up and that yes, you would rather have sex (meaningless or not) with strippers or anyone other than her or you have to because she can't keep up with you and see how that makes you feel. If you can muster the courage to spit the words out then at least she gets the full truth and can decide if she can deal with it (like gawker did). She trusts you. Even if she's not everything she once was, chances are you are not either (you are spending half her cash on strippers while shes stuck with the kids and btw try that for a while and see how your energy holds upHow can that make any wife feel sexy?) You can take this with a grain of salt, but please don't.
"What she doesnt know cant hurt her" will rip everything to shreds when she does know. and one day she will.
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