Should our Wives be Glad we Go to Strip Clubs

15 comments

• lopaw

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  10 years ago

  As a woman I agree but I doubt many other (straight) women will. They just don't get it. A SC is a threat to them and it really can bring out a woman's insecurity if her partner visits one. I personally like a lot of contact with the dancers but my "wife" would never understand that or accept it, so I keep my visits on the down-low. I would love to have her come with me and maybe get some double dances (3 girls total....wow!) but she'll never go for it, so I stopped asking.
• ReadyPayerOne

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  10 years ago

  @motleyfool, this may work for you and your wife, but I disagree that wives misunderstand and should be glad we go. They could legitimately view it as a threat: - if the husband is the breadwinner and spending too much at the club. Threat to the the resources that could be dedicated to the family. - if the husband is having sex with strippers and introducing STD risk into the relationship. Again, it may work for some couples if the SC-goer sets limits and sticks to them. But there's a lot of temptation and it's easy to move beyond the innocent stuff if you factor in booze and/or a stripper motivated to offer sex to make more money.
• crsm27

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  10 years ago

  @Ready and Motleyfool The temptation of OTC or ITC could be an issue depending on where you live. I know i have gone to many clubs in my area and only have been propositioned in one club (which is now my go to). But most are just a tease and tease some more type thing. So what Motley is saying is correct for about 90% of the people who go to clubs if not more. Now Ready and Lopaw... I agree that their is more to it. The other half in the relationship needs to be very secure in herself and be able to trust big time. Because many women think that you are going to the club because you don't find them attractive or "sexy" anymore. Which in most cases is 99% false. It is like how Motley puts it. But in their mind they think you don't want them and are starting to stray. But also many women don't understand how the clubs work. In MN most of the clubs are you have to sit on your hands during LD's. And you can't even touch a leg or you will get bounced. (others are not). Yet many women think it is a free for all, no holds barr, beyond the thunderdome type of sexual activities that go on in the clubs. Which it isn't. Now I know i am bouncing everywhere here. But what I think needs to be done to achieve what Motley is suggesting is the perception of how most women think a strip club experience is for the men. Or they need to be enlightened on what actually happens in the clubs. Warning: some places like in City of Industry, CA, Upland CA, Detroit, etc... are not the norm. So don't take the women there. But here is another tangent.... When most people take a woman to the club.... and it is a legit club....what typically happens to the women?? Most of the time they get way more mileage than any guy. So maybe that is why some get a skewed perspective. to summerise: - A woman needs to be very secure and trust worthy to have the situation that Motley has. - We need to change the "image" or "perception" of what a woman thinks is a typical club experience for the average male.
• ReadyPayerOne

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  10 years ago

  @crsm - good points. Ok, I do think the club-experience that a wife is most likely to be comfortable with, assuming she is secure about herself and trusts her husband, is the average experience the casual visitor gets in a low mileage club. However, I feel like one stops getting the "average experience" when one starts being a strip club regular. I don't have proof, but I have to think that even in the cleanest, low mileage clubs, there will be dancers who do P4P. And when you're a regular, and you have favorite dancers, you're going to stumble onto P4P offers that the casual customer doesn't get. Even if you're a well-behaved faithful guy. Offers that come from girls who are discrete, selective, need to get to know the customer first, etc. etc. I'll use my own experience from earlier on in my clubbing career: I had a fave who I liked getting lap dances from at a classy, low mileage club. I had a significant other, and the dancer knew it. I never asked for anything beyond dances and this dancer would occasionally (unprompted by me) mention how she didn't do anything dirty. Well, something like six months into knowing her, we did a block of time in VIP that got a little steamy. Light extras, nothing negotiated or paid for. When we went back to sit down in the main area, we were cooling off, chatting, and she just blurts out that if I wanted to, we could have sex. For money, of course. I guess my point is, do this hobby long enough, and you'll be tempted. And even if you're the faithful type, I'd say a proposition from an established favorite is pretty tempting. And way more tempting than one from a random stripper offering "more fun" five minutes into meeting her. I think that's a reality of strip clubs. And if a wife knows that, I struggle to see how she can get comfortable with her husband running around in that world. But maybe my view is a function of where I club. Maybe I'd change my tune if I did some extended clubbing in places like Orlando.
• crsm27

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  10 years ago

  @ready You are correct. If a husband becomes a regular....ie going 4 times a month (once a week)...then the wife will have issues. I think that is when the esteem issues will pop up. Like...why you need to go to the club once a week. Now on the reverse side....if a hubby goes once a month....yes you are kind of a regular...yet not a "regular" if you know what I mean. But yes i have had same experience as you....but I am un attached. After going to a club about 5 times in a 2 month period... I was offered... but this girl wasn't an ATF or anything. But she just blurted it out just like your situation.
• Draper

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  10 years ago

  My wife went from being very cool with me having an occasional SC trip to being almost repulsed by the idea of me going once we had a kid. The first time it came up post-baby I was actually shocked by how drastically her POV changed. She softened her stance on it a bit since, but it's still a work in progress. Reality is there's more to lose now than there was before, so I get why some insecurities have arisen where there weren't any previously. @ReadyPayerOne- spot on, well said. I don't solicit P4P, the clubs I visit aren't known to be spots for extras, and I am pretty composed during an average LD...but I'd be lying if I said my guard doesn't drop a little bit in the comfort of my ATF.
• Tiredtraveler

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  10 years ago

  Most wives would not understand at all. My ex inferred shortly after our marriage if she caught me watching porn or having sex including Rosy Palmer and her 5 sisters that she would consider it cheating and she would file for divorce. Later the ex arbitrarily decided that sex was not necessary for a marriage and told me that I was to be spiritually satisfied with her companionship and the occasional kiss (incidentally I found out later she had just found out she was pregnant and had not told me). I called the divorce attorney the next day. Fortunately she miscarried and low and behold she wanted to reconcile. NOT!!! I never looked back and have not seen the gold digger for more than 30 years. I lived in a no alimony state at the time.
• skibum609

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  10 years ago

  Wife and I are swingers so me going to a strip club doesn't even register on her radar.
• Mrbronson

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  10 years ago

  ReadyPayer hit it on the head... in a perfect world, we'd all be more open about our desires... but if you are in a relationship, especially long term, you are expected to ignore your most basic human desire for sexual novelty. There's a reason affairs continue to happen, and even increase.
• sshrfrsky

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  10 years ago

  Love hearing from the guys with SOs. One day I'll post my situation. Its not bad per se just I suppose she would prefer that I dont have the desire to go but she doesnt want to tell me I cant go.Sort of "do what you want" but really dont.
• Alucard

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  10 years ago

  Absolutely NOT.
• bang69

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  10 years ago

  I see a lot of married women in strip clubs with their hubies
• p00pd00d

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  10 years ago

  You make a good point. I don't think that most women would agree, but you can either keep it on the DL or find a woman who doesn't care. Better yet, get yourself a woman who is simply perfect and satisfies your every need! (just kidding)
• ilbbaicnl

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  10 years ago

  It's complicated, at least these three factors: 1. Wife may think of herself as still being in the the hotness top tier, or that husband is "choosing" to be shallow and focus on physical appearance. 2. Wife may think that hubs getting serviced by strippers will somehow make him want a divorce. 3. In our culture, controlling other people is a major status symbol. Women tend to brag to their friends about keeping the hubs on a short leash. As men brag about keeping their wives on a short leash.
• Wander24

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  10 years ago

  I rarely go to a club without my wife. She has as much fun as I do, perhaps even more as I foot the bill. Sometimes the girls pay her more attention than me, but I don't mind. We have had some incredible private dances here and there, but mostly we just enjoy ourselves for a while , and then head home for some extra hot lovemaking.