Was it Really Love?

Was it really love? for you maybe. for her.... only love of the money you gave her. however i dont think her not working there anymore had anything to do with you so chin up

Lust &/or Infatuation! Love? REAL deep, emotional, selfless Love...Perhaps not, very doubtful & unlikely, especially after a 1 night stand.

The loser here IMHO is your family.

A lot of us have been there. No it wasn't love, deep lust perhaps, but that's about it. Beware, but if you don't watch out, it will happen to you again.
Over time, you just learn to put your guard up, have a great time, but leave it at the club. She actually did you a favor. Almost all of these dancers have lives and issues that you don't want any part of, and the issues never end!
If you do go out, consider hitting different clubs, and you may have several favorites, so you don't get fixated on one girl. Trust me, if you do, it will be the best, yet most fucked up temporary relationship you'll ever have! Many of us have lived to tell the ugly and drama filled tales! LOL

No it was not love, it was lust. She gave you something that you found missing in your relationship with your wife. Forget about her.

According to your story, it sounds like your relationship with your wife has just lost some of its luster. You still have sex, sleep in the same bed and love each other. Many guys on here who are married don't have any of that. You should feel fortunate.

I would look at seeing what you can do to rekindle the fire with your wife. Plan romantic nights out where it ends at a hotel instead of the house or plan a vacation without the kids. Talk with her about how to rekindle the romance and sexual fire you feel is missing from your relationship.

This will make your trips to the SC easier to just "enjoy the fantasy." I know when I was married, when things were going well with my wife, I didn't really go to SC's. But when things went downhill and she didn't want sex and the love seemed to go away, I made more trips. I just wanted to have the fantasy. Never went beyond lappers. No VIP's or extras. I tried all of the things I listed above, but they didn't work for me because there was no sex or love happening in my relationship like there sound like in yours.

Good luck! I hope you figure out what you want.

All comments are on the mark. As I suffered extremely, including $$$ through the same thing. I can relate to the initial trigger to go to a club etc. Unfortunately this professional, sociopathic grifter played me like a fiddle. No one needs to post that I was an idiot. That would not be news to me.

Here is the complaint I brought against her which ultimately did nothing more than we will give her a scare according to the Butler County, Missouri Prosecutor. I did travel there to give a deposition to her attorney. I don't fault their logic that no jury would convict.

I am filing this complaint against T L. ------------- of -------------, Poplar Bluff, MO 63901 (alternate address --------------) for Fraud by Deceit over a period from March 2008 through May 2009.


Specifically, that she represented herself to me as described as follows. Based on these false representations, I provided her money for $42,150 over the 14-month period, all documented, to pay bills, legal restitution and to replace personal property.
1) That she was not legally married to the extent of being a single mother with one child, named -------------, either 6 or 7 years old. She further represented herself as being alone without any financial support from any other party including her father. I mention her father only because she said he could and would help if she asked him. She stated that out of pride she would not ask him for assistance.
a) I recently learned she is married. On two occasions, August 2007 and December 2007 I directly asked her if there was a husband or boy friend. In August 2007, she said there was no man in her life.
b) In December 2007 and January 2008, I asked her about information I had read in the obituary of her late stepmother, C ------------- where T and a husband D are listed with children ------------- and -------------. In December 2007, she initially said D and her were separated. In January 2008 she amended this to say they were not legally married but partners through “laying on of hands” or words to that effect, without legal binding, and had not had a relationship for 10 years save the birth of their child ------------- 5 years prior.
c) I understand that ------------- is older and there could be up to four children in total.
2) She did not have the resources to pay:
a) Restitution in the amount of almost $1,300 per month/60 months for her July 2008 felony conviction for Medicaid Fraud (-------------- ST V T L -------------, 7 year Suspended Execution of Sentence, 5 years supervised probation). I later learned this to be $800/month.
b) Attorney general fines related to this same conviction in excess of $10,000 with an April remaining balance in excess of $5,000 (see attachment “Texts from T ------------- to ------------- -------------”). These fees have only come into the picture this Winter. On Wednesday, April 29th, we had an extensive text conversation about these where she alleged the State Attorney General through the County Prosecutor was pressuring her to close on the balance. She said her attorney would lend her the money but this was a last resort. I offered to pay it directly to her attorney or the Prosecutor. She said this was not practical due to having to be a cash transaction. I now understand there never were any attorney general fines.
c) Student Loans, amount unknown.
d) Monthly mortgage for $900.
e) Annual Missouri personal property tax of approximately $400.
f) Medical bills including doctor fees, lab fees and prescriptions of approximately $1500 / Winter 2009. I understand her husband does now or at one time worked for the Poplar Bluff --------------. Presumably, there are medical benefits available to her if he is such employed.
g) Replace her previous vehicle, an older model Tahoe, supposedly due to a blown engine and the associated closure of an auto loan, $9000. I provided her $5000 to supplement this transaction of closing the loan, selling the Tahoe and buying a used car. She told me the sale and purchase was in Poplar Bluff including a dealer in the Fairdealing / Doniphan area. However, the used car purchased, a late model Pontiac GTO, has a Collinsville, IL dealer sticker. I observed this on 16 April 2009 in the parking lot of the Hampton Inn, Cape Girardeau, MO.
h) Replace various appliances that were supposedly ruined during the ice storm experienced in late January, early February 2009 for $900.
i) For groceries month to month where I frequently sent her gift cards from Kroger’s and Wal-Mart to assist her.
j) For her weekly hotel stay in the Madison County, Illinois area incidental to her employment at PT’s Sports Cabaret in Sauget, IL. To be accurate I initiated the offer to cover this weekly expense when she supposedly was laid off from working as a hand at various local farms/ranches. The last and primary place of local employment was the --------------
k) In addition, she said she did not have resources to retain various personal items due to selling them to gain cash to pay bills. These included various power sports equipment including a Jet Ski and two motorcycles. I later learn she has 2 Jet Skis.

Most importantly, she represented herself as being in love with me. In her words: I was her man, there was no one else etc, she did not want to lose me, she wanted me in her life, you are heaven sent, you are my rock and guardian angel. That she was happy we shared the same dreams for the future. She said I gave her hope through supporting this dream by my saving money to attain them. She never resisted, countered or tried to set straight this mutual understanding nor did she ever ask to stop supporting her including when I made her the beneficiary of an account I established for her dreams. I provided her a copy of the documents establishing the account.

From March 2008 through April 2009, I provided T ------------- the following cash assistance:

Gift Cards by US Mail/UPS or hand delivered for groceries and restaurants: $2,250
Wire Transfer through Western Union from Sidney, Ohio to Poplar Bluff MO: $28,500
Bank Checks made out to her and deposited in a Poplar Bluff Bank: $11,400
Total: $42,150
Please see attachments for further details and documentation.

The last time I was with T ------------- was on Thursday, April 16th and Friday, April 17th.
• On Thursday, we met in Cape Girardeau at the Hampton Inn around 5:40pm. After a quick visit to my room to give her a family quilt, we had drinks and dinner next door at the Outback. There we tested a used Blackberry Pearl that I gave her as she told me two-three weeks prior her multi-functional cell phone had stopped working. We left there for AT&T Cingular to look at accessories. We then went to the Mall where we shopped for a variety of things including a phone accessory, clothing and house wares all of which I bought for her. We departed the mall at closing around 9pm where at her suggestion we crossed the Mississippi River to East Cape Girardeau, IL to the Pony club where she had worked off and on. We had one drink and departed to return to the hotel. Upon return, we watched TV and talked. She needed to depart around 11:00-11:30 to return to Poplar Bluff by 1am for -------------’s babysitter. Before she departed around 11:30, I gave her a Cashier’s check for $3000 to cover month end bills including restitution. I also insisted to pay for the baby sitter.
• On Friday, April 17th we met at PT’s Sports Cabaret in Sauget, IL. This was at 8pm upon the start of her weekend shift. I stayed there until approximately 3:30am when I returned directly to Ohio. During the period we were together, we had multiple drinks and in the course of the evening paid her money per the fees of that club.

On the evening of 3 May 2009, I discovered her www.myspace.com web site: “---------” where there were pictures of her children, her husband or boyfriend and various blog and “twitter” entries that countered most of what has been described in paragraphs 1-4.

When I immediately asked her through text message about what I saw. She did not respond and within minutes made the site private. In spite of a few attempts to ask her to explain things, I have not talked to her since Saturday 2 May 2009.

I am filing this complaint following discussions and recommendations provided by Mr. R H of the Missouri Attorney Medicaid Fraud Control Unit and her Probation Officer, MS. T W of the Missouri Parole Office, Poplar Bluff, MO.

In summary, I provided this assistance to T L. ------------- accepting as fact the willful mis-representations she made as outlined. I simply would not have provided these monies if I had known:
• she was married,
• there were true, lesser obligations and
• Her overall personal situation was other than represented to me as evidenced by looking at her myspace web page as seen on 3 May 2009.

I forgot to state the obvious. We met at PT's Sports Cabaret in Sauget, IL in Fall, 2006. I started going there once a month/one night incidental to business travel. By August,2007, I was seeing her two nights a month, we had exchanged phone numbers, real names etc. As mentioned the last time I saw "Morianna" was April 2009.

Thank Che. The "long con" is a good description. I initially sent her $1000 with a promissory note for some car repair thing after being laid off etc. No coincidence it was incidental to our exchanging of personal information in August 2007 as this sob story came out during my September 2007 visit. She ultimately never cashed the check saying she had thought better of it as she didn't want money to interefere with our personal relationship. I didn't realize this was the gutsy initial con on her part.

Sounds like you were hypnotized!

sex, drugs and gambling move more money than Wall street. Everyone has there vice. Fucking good looking woman can be expensive. This is the addiction generation.

Hypnotized? That explains it. I thought it was the 32DD's riding on the size 4, 5'9" frame, perfectly capped teeth, engaging personality saying things like you are my rock etc etc. LOL. Appreciate the opportunity to vent.

And high ITC mileage.

Part of me is glad I don't have that kind of coinage to drop on a stripper. Even if I did, my last relationship would keep me from giving any woman my money with out a repayment plan in place. Quite frankly, when you loan money to anyone, don't expect repayment, then you be mad when it doesn't get paid back and if it does, its a bonus. If they say they will pay you back, get it in writing. I feel for what you went through.

If your wife were to learn of your club visits, how would she feel and what would she do. My ex claimed going to clubs was the equivalent of adultery--even if there was no touching.

Sometimes there is chemistry between customer and dancer. It happens. The music in the background, the drinks, the sparks...sure it does happen but I bet she forgot about you right after you left the club. I am sorry to be so blunt. I have had chemistry with my customers during lap dances and have had orgasms during them too but guess what?... I totally forgot about the customer as soon as the night was over. I don't even remember half of their names. You pay for the fantasy and that is it. Once the song is over, it's done unless you both decide on o/c. Why oh why do you guys fall in love with us after 1 night? I am shaking my head right now.

"Sometimes there is chemistry between customer and dancer"

I agree. No different than between any woman & man anywhere.

How it is handle is most important IMO.

That was me a few years ago. My break was a year and she wasn't there anymore when I went back either. It was a disappointment sure but later, more of a relief. Now, after practice and with being comfortable in clubs, something akin to this happens on all of my trips. I always find a favorite who I gel with but I keep it in the club. I still go through withdrawal when I get home but it's shorter and I make the transition back to real life quicker. Unless... my last trip to Vegas, I met a dancer... I already had a return trip planned a few months later. We exchanged e-mails and have passed each other a couple of one liners since. The trip is now only a few weeks away... I know I'm on the edge of a slippery slope and the first few feet down will be exhilerating but the bottom is hard and unforgiving however you look at it. There is a part of me that hopes she won't be there.

I am currently in this situation. I met a stripper in a club. She is divorced and just moved into a new place. She told me she strips Thrusday-Saturday and works as a nurse/caregiver for elderly folks from Sunday-Tuesday. I got two VIP dances from her...they were great. She then asked for my cell number. The next day, she called me and told me she'd fell out on stage and had to be taken to the hospital. She had ulcers and was put on meds and told she couldn't work for a few days at either of her jobs. She then asked if I wanted to come over and see her new place and keep her company. I did, and she offered me a Coke and we watched TV and talked. She told me how all the other girls at the club were drug addicts but her. Finally, she said she was ready for some sex. I told her I couldn't risk that as I had no protection (I purposefully didn't bring any- I wasn't ready for that right away). Finally, we agreed to do oral stuff. After that,. we watched some more TV. Then it was time for me to leave- that's when she asked for some help- $200 to help her since she'd be out of work. I gave it to her, feeling stupid. She called me a few days later saying she was back at work in the club. I wnt to see her and got one dance. She ended the night asking me to call her and we'd go out to eat or something. I really find her sexy, but I don't trust her. I don't know if I'll call her, but if I don't I wonder if I should visit her club again when she's there. I am really wanting to keep spending time with her and doing sexual stuff with her, but I'm also concerned she'll keep trying to constantly bleed my bank account.

" I am really wanting to keep spending time with her and doing sexual stuff with her, but I'm also concerned she'll keep trying to constantly bleed my bank account."

Of *course* she'll try to bleed your bank account. The trick is to get plenty of sex while she's doing it.

Thanks CDM. Nice to know we have nearly the identical addiction. You are printing the words that I am thinking. I haven't fallen in love with any of them - more like falling in love with all of them. But I too have to make my way home to the wife and five kids when my money (and soul) are exhausted. I love the way it feels to get that hormonal high - it's what keeps me going back and what has me out here on a regular basis now. Has there been chemistry? No doubt. I'm still a bit new to the SC lifestyle and I'm shocked at how many fairly uncommon occurrences seem to have happened to me already - like makeout sessions, heavy petting, and everything but the actual deed itself. Several of the girls have either claimed orgasm or in at least two cases, I don't think they could fake it that well. It seems if I'm willing to please them, they tend to give more in return. Since my fetish is expriencing a woman's orgasm, that tends to work out well. Of course you have to cultivate the ability to get that far. I'm rambling now, but your original comments struck a chord. I'm looking forward to payday...

You actually have more responsibility than she does. This is what we do for a living and its legal. I don't see why customers want to blame us when I'm sorry but we provide a fantasy and you have to pay for that fantasy!

It's sad that like a,cop or priest some of these girls abuse their station. They just by being gorgeous women are in a position of power and to use that power for evil such as bilking the guy who posted this is jut wrong. I'm not saying that gaming a guy in the club is wrong as that is your job but by reading the description this went much farther. This is what has made me callous to requests for outside time and my number which I no longer give out for a variety of reasons. The main on is not dealing with drama.

It is really love for the customer until Reality intrudes and gives you a nasty wake up call. Love causes you to ignore flaws that would be deal breakers if you were thinking rationally. You ignore the signs that the things that she's been telling you just don't add up or make sense. Then something happens that causes you to re-evaluate all the things that have been happening since day one.

I totally get this because of an experience I had with a dancer (12/2013) at a club in the north west.

Went through same emotion and still have that strong emotion at this moment. We connected very good right from the start and we did have a good moment in the backroom.

It's about a month now since we met, but the moments we had were unforgettable, same things you described in your article. I got hooked, she texted me everyday and I had to see her because of these moments we spent in the backroom. There is definitely an OTC in the near future as well.

I asked her how it was and she said don't put too much thinking into it. Basically she is telling me not to over-think what is going on.

However, I just can't toss this strong emotion out that easy. Definitely there is going to be some detox for me happening in the next coming days.