A Guide to Pushy Dancers

avatar for dotdotdot
dotdotdot
After paying 10 dollars to valet, 15 to enter, and one drink, usually 10, we have already nearly 40 dollars to sit at the table. Almost immediately, a beautifully tan girl with big eyes and glittered eyelids sits in the chair next to me.
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"Hello, I am Annie. What's your name?" She grinned. Within minutes, we were discussing my visit and business trip. One song later, she asked if I would buy her a drink. Sure, I agreed. A few minutes later, she recommended getting a dance from her. I told her, no, not at the moment. She huffed, asking why not? Well, I wasn't ready. Oh, she replied, you have to be drunk to enjoy a dance? While pointing to my beer.
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She ended up leaving soon after. I didn't get a dance from her the entire night, and it was a slow wednesday night. This was a no win situation. She didn't win, obviously, because I arrived with a fresh stack of 20's to spend on the pretty lady of my choice and it could have been hers. I didn't win because she ended up being a good dancer and she never came back to ask for another dance.
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There is no real way to gracefully turn down a pushy dancer, the best way to be honest and upfront. If you aren't feeling the moment or the girl, then wait. It is her job to make you spend money in the club, but if she is good at her job, she will make you feel like you are the one creating the good environment and not her. She should know that you are there of course to uy dances.
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But if you are not there to buy dances, then you should let the girl know you are only interested in the stage show so she can move on. If you like talking to the girl, but don't want a dance, you should tip her anyways for hanging out. Be a gentleman.
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That said, there really is a limit to how pushy some girls can get. It's not a personal offense if we do not want a dance from you! It is more probable that you are having a bad day and do not want to meet me or my friends, who have so kindly bought your drinks for you. So be kind to the new people you meet, and if you look at us like we are clients or customers, then we will treat you like a product or sale. The real good girls are the ones who talk to me like we are old friends and laugh at the things I say. Sorry, but it's true.

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avatar for latinalover69
latinalover69
14 years ago
There's lots of ways to turn down a pushy dancer:

"Thank you sweetie but I just got here and want to relax for a bit and drink my beer but come back in a bit cause I'm not going anywhere for awhile" (if you want her to come back).

My Fave blow off for girls I have no interest at all is, "You know I'm waiting for someone, she just texted me". This usually gets rid of them immediately as the assumption is that I have a regular girl that I visit. If they ask me who I just make up a name. If they never heard of her I say yeah she's new and just came from another club that I also visit.

Actually my favorite and best one is simply, "No thanks, I'm ok right now", said politely with a smile.

Good luck in the future with these.
avatar for Rod8432
Rod8432
14 years ago
I've found that with loud music playing and plenty of other distractions, it's best to politely direct and use words that aren't confusing. When I used to say something like, "I'm okay," or "I'm good for now," etc., I'd sometimes get a confused look. I'd then discover she thought I'd suggested basically a "Yes," by hearing something like "That's okay" or "I'm good for that." And there was even more opportunity for confusion if I tried to explain I'd just gotten there, I just wanted to scope the place, etc.

So these days, I use the words "No" and "Not" prominently. I'll say, "No, thank you," or "Not right now, but maybe later?" I then of course, usually never see them again. And if they do come by, it's usually with a question like, "Are you ready for a dance now?" to which I can reply, "No, but thanks anyway. Perhaps next time."
avatar for bumrubber
bumrubber
14 years ago
Most of the time a "no thank you" is enough, but some persist. This industry does attract people who are not wired correctly so there will always be problem individuals. One at a local club is short, fat, ghetto, and pushy as hell. The other girls there are quite attractive, and very nice, so she sticks out like a sore thumb. If I tell her no she asks what kind of girl I like so she can go get her for me. She's caused me to leave 3-4 times without spending any money. I wish management would get a clue. Otherwise this is a good club.

It's always the fat ones. I guess they have to be pushy.

Anyone know where to get those "no fat chicks" T-shirts from the 70s?
avatar for Cravey
Cravey
14 years ago
My routine is to sit for about 15 minutes, enjoy a beer and let the stress of the day melt away.

At Treasures in Houston, I was approached by a really gorgeous girl only five minutes after sitting down. Her line was standard, asking if I wanted a dance. I replied that I wanted to relax for just a bit before getting dances.

She stood and before walking away, told me that "the blowjob you you would have gotten with the dance would have been all the relaxation you needed".

Zing..
avatar for rl27
rl27
14 years ago
If it's a club I haven't been to before I usually will say something like "Sorry, I just got in and my eyes need to adjust," or "No thank you, I just got here and want to see who all are here." If I know a few dancers I'll say "I am waiting on Faith," or whatever her name may be.

If a dancer is really pushy, I'll usually point to a random hot dancer and say, "I am waiting for her." A few times a dancer will say something like "she doesn't give a good dance," and keep trying to push for a dance. I usually reply with something like "that's not what I heard.

To the really obnoxious who use a reply like this I will say something like "who cares if her dance is good, she's smoking hot." This almost backfired once years ago at Mardi Gras in Atlanta. It took me about an hour to make up my mind, and when I finally found a dancer I was interested in and asked her when she was on stage, she replied "Oh, I didn't stop by before, because I heard you only like models." I laughed and told her, "you must have talked to the pushy dancer, or one of her friends. I wouldn't trust anything they say," then spent the next three hours with her.
avatar for kingcripple
kingcripple
14 years ago
this happened to me once. i was dragged to this piss poor club by a friend. all the girls were ahem, big and one came up to me and i said "not now, thanks" she was polite at first. second time too. the third time however she gave me a dirty look and scoffed at me, walked off. it didnt hurt me at all. i thought it was funny. im always polite when refusing a dance but i could have, and probably should have been meaner to this fat chick. my God....
avatar for xxxnycexecparty
xxxnycexecparty
14 years ago
Had the girl sat with you for a while and had a couple drinks with you before asking for a dance, I'll bet you would have bought five dances or more. Unfortunately too many girls just don't know how to play the game. Guys like to enjoy the atmosphere and a some conversation and just basically get settled in, before jumping right in to the dance room. Ladies be patient and play a little hard to get for pete's sake. Men enjoy the thrill of of the hunt.
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avatar for edepsiz
edepsiz
14 years ago
It's easier to shake off a dancer you don't know,but how do you deal with the girls who know you and with whom you have gone to VIP but you're not interested anymore? They just assume that once you get dances from them you'll always do so in the future...it's harder to shake those off...
avatar for Digitech
Digitech
14 years ago
I say 'I like to watch the rotation of dancers on stage first.' This is practical because the clubs I visit usually don't have too many. If you were in some super-club where they have 75 dancers working at a time, maybe this wouldn't be practical.

Of course, I've encountered plenty of pushy dancers, breathy sighs and eye rolling.

The worst that I can remember is a dancer who sat next to me and immediately sprang the question for a dance. I declined, she said 'Are you sure?' I politely declined again, and she said 'Why? Do you think I'm ugly?'

I said no, I just want to take some time first. Then she started laying into me and saying that I was a loser who just comes to the club to turn women down and call them ugly, etc etc.

I didn't really have a response for this, so there was a pause of about 10-15 seconds. Amazingly, she said 'Okay, I think we got off to a bad start. Let's try again, my name is...'

Then she asked for a dance again!
avatar for kingcripple
kingcripple
14 years ago
depends on the club. there are two clubs in texas i have been to. one is upscale and the dancers are never pushy. the other i was afraid to go in. one dancer kept hounding me for a dance. the first two times she was polite. the third she rolled her eyes and scoffed at me. i just didnt want to tell her she was fat and i didnt dig fat girls
avatar for Epiphany
Epiphany
14 years ago
Good points made by all...I also like to watch the stage rotation at least once and if there is one that I like, I tend to make eye contact and leave open the possibility to stop by my table later. Many of the girls are under a great deal of pressure to generate revenue, so being sensitive will make it easier for all. I strongly suggest that you bond with your server, as they know what is going on and can make recommendations. TIP HER WELL. I especially enjoy clubs that make it comfortable for my wife and I to attend. Dancers that understand the dynamics of making the environment non-threatening will make big time tips from me.
avatar for Gossage54
Gossage54
14 years ago
I usually just do the polite "I'm OK right now, I just got here" or something to that effect. If it's slow they'll probably come back, if it gets busy you probably missed your chance (if you are interested) or you might have to hunt her down and say "I'm ready now". If I'm really not interested I'll just say "I'm not getting a dance today, sorry". Then if she sees you go back with someone else she'll give a death stare but who cares if you have no interest anyway. After the polite "I'm OK for the moment" you'll either get an "OK I'll come back and check on you later" or they'll grumble and go off in a huff. If they do that you're probably better off because usually that girl would give you a rushed bad dance anyway with the probable upselling the song count. Sometimes I can be so turned off by getting bombarded with pushy dancers within 10 minutes of arriving I'll finish 1 beer and just abort the mission. I usually keep to myself after entry and (hopefully) relax and have a few drinks and survey the scene. I like to know I've seen virtually every girl on duty before making my decision. For me it's a bit of a production, I can't imagine walking into a club grabbing a beer and going right into the back. I'm paying for a whole fantasy scenario.
avatar for Jerzyfam
Jerzyfam
14 years ago
I had a chick come over 5 times. Kept telling this broad no. On the next time, I told her I'm giving you this dollar to not come back around here. She gave me an evil look TOOK THE DOLLAR AND DID NOT COME BACK. It was worth the $1 in my opinion
avatar for quicknight
quicknight
14 years ago
thanks for the advice. i'm going to try some of these right now. i got a real pushy one who tries to "claim" me everytime i come into her club. i once ditched her when she went onstage and she brought ut up the next time i saw her!
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