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JackKash

New York City

In that horribly overacted Costner film, Waterworld, there is one character I have sympathy for, the old man in the small boat floating on the oil and in the complete darkness of the supertanker's hold. Don't really remember why he is there, or how he got there but he seemed calm and resigned to his fate. Near the end of the movie, the "aqua man" (Costner) drops a flaming torch into the hold to destroy the ship. Seeing it come down to him, the old man says, "Oh thank goodness" or something similar with great relief in his voice (perhaps because he is also finally out of the movie) - and then the hold bursts into a fireball - btw, should I have said "spoiler alert?"

I think of this character when ever I see a bathroom attendant in the men's room of a SC. If there can be a more humbling, lower form of employment, I can't think of it at this time. To stay all night in the restroom (I have never noticed them come out, even just stand in the doorway, during the course of a night) offering towels, mints and cologne(!) to pissing, farting, shitting and probably a few vomiting drunk men must certainly be one of the worst jobs. An aside, I never understood the bounty of cologne available on the sink. Giving a guy a stack of $20's would work much better in a club (though I do note a Club's ATM is usually right outside the men's room).

Now I have seen three types of attendants. The quiet ones who work around you, cleaning up, maybe offering a towel, but they don't say much. The sense is they are just keeping the place clean and tidy. Most often this is a non-english speaker.

Then there's a second type, usually youngish guy, probably initially excited to get a job in a club but then he is shut in the restroom away from even the eye candy we enjoy. They try to make small talk but are working too hard and might have a little tension, a little desperation in their voices (they're working for tips too afterall). I can tell they are screaming on the inside.

Lastly, there are the ones like the old man from the movie. Resigned and calm with their fate. Pleasant chatter to fish out a conversation but nothing forced and an easy retreat if your not interested in talking. After you have done your business, they are there turning on the water at the sink for you, squirting soap into your hands for you, turning off the water and offering a towel (actually this is a bit of pampering I like, having to not touch the fixtures).

I had a good lingering conversation with one of these last types in the restroom of Crazy Horse III in Vegas. The break from the noise and hustle in the club was a welcome respite. Still, I could imagine that if someone ever walked in to this restroom and placed a ticking bomb on the floor, this man would not run but release a tired sigh of relief and say, "Oh thank goodness."