How many married guys visit clubs on the DL?

9 comments

• giveitayank

  •

  15 years ago

  I've been married for almost two years now. I don't "club" nearly as much as I used to. My wife doesn't know about it. Just like you, the way she would find out is because of missing money in my bank account. I know she suspects something is not right so, I'm thinking about giving it up altogether.
• lopaw

  •

  15 years ago

  This topic has come up quite a few times. Many of us married ones (I include myself even tho I am not legally married) choose not to share our "excursions" with our better halves. I've been with my "wife" for 16 years now, and I refuse to give up my clubbing. I've been sneaking out to clubs for so long that I'm pretty good at being discreet and covering my tracks. In the beginning of our relationship I tried to get her to go along with me ("c'mon honey....girls night out!"), but she would have nothing to do with it. Oh well. If you're in a relationship, you have to decide early on how important clubbing is to you, and what you are willing to do to continue going. Alot of folks are not willing to take the risk of screwing up their relationship, but some of us just like it too much and can't let it go.
• Book Guy

  •

  15 years ago

  About 99%.
• jothoma1

  •

  15 years ago

  It wouldn't be the end of my marriage if she found out but it would hurt her self esteem and she would be hurt. I enjoy clubbing but because of that I only go when I am out of town on business. I would never visit my local clubs just out or respect for her if I saw someone I knew and it got back to her.
• PinkyLynn

  •

  15 years ago

  I have a regular who comes in 2-3 times a year. He only comes to the club when his wife is out of town. She has no clue. Before I started dancing my now ex-husband used to frequent clubs. I really didn't care. I felt that I was the girl he was coming home ready to jump into bed with. :-) Anyway, a few times, I asked him to take me with him and he refused each time.
• FinalLap

  •

  15 years ago

  It's tough if you don't travel on the job. I can't imagine trying to work in club visits in my hometown or daily/weekly routine. When you are out of town or she is (we both travel occasionally), it's easy to find time and opportunity w/o serious dishonesty. "Don't ask, Don't tell" comes to mind as a good way to handle it. That would be very difficult without the travel. On the money question, try holding out a hundred here or there when you make deposits. That way, you avoid the withdrawals. Or withdraw an amount every week whether you need it or not. Stash the cash for the club trips. Never put it on your credit card. Good Luck!
• mreef

  •

  15 years ago

  Good idea on the money that I realized the other day. I've already set aside my "stripper envelope" and started it off with $200 and $20 singles. That way when I can get out, I already have the dance/tip money. I did a lunch outing last week, only 2 or 3 customers in the club, but there was one girl I really liked and gave great dances, so after asking her schedule (weekdays only), I'll be going there for lunch again next week. The toughest part for me is visiting the great clubs (per reviews here) that are 90 minutes away. That's 3 hours just driving. My wife doesn't go out of town and with 4 kids, I can't just take off for 4 or 5 hours on the weekend. :)
• mreef

  •

  15 years ago

  The same was true of me. I used to go a lot with friends in NYC (that also loved clubs), but 15 years later and a married father, I wanted to go back and wondered if it would be weird going alone. What I've observed (and perhaps hadn't noticed before) is that are a bunch of guys that show up alone. The biggest groups seem to come Friday and Saturday nights and those are typically nights I'm not available. Especially the afternoon crowd seems to be a lot of guys by themselves. I often have to make opportunistic visits (going out for something, want to stop by the club for an hour), it's not something that could be easily coordinated with others. And best of all, I can leave immediately when I'm done with my cash, or had enough lap dances, etc. I don’t have to wait around for a buddy. And since I'm keeping this a secret from my wife, there are no issues with a friend spilling the beans, etc. The idea of feeling out of place going alone kept me out of the clubs for too long. I've yet to feel that way at all.
• Anna

  •

  15 years ago

  I would be more offended today if my other half spent MONEY on a dancer than the fact that he got a dance... Married guys are my favorite...customer and boyfriend. hands down for many reasons... On the customer front...they are usually respectful and predictable...visiting the same time on the same days and spending the same amount...they come in after work but before dinner and I like to get out of the club by 8 or 9...for some reason I feel they are more responsible as far as cleanliness and illegal things...after all they have not just themselves to worry about. As far as dating married men...they value the time spent with me...they tend to know more about women physically and emotionally and are more sensitive to women's issues (having heard all of them ten times from the wifey) .... they have a bedtime so never really interfere with my club hopping or sports events...they aren't all clingy and up my ass all the time...when they go out of town I get to go...no commitment issues or let's move in together bullshit...guilt induced gift giving is wonderful. My advice is take your wife to a strip club with ugly girls...then the next time you ask to go, she will be like "go ahead" because she won't feel intimidated...then head towards the club you really like.