On-Line Dating / Hook-up Services

avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
I write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
Anybody have any good experience with dating services on-line, or with those "adult" dating services?

E-Harmony? Adult Friend Finder? The "QUEST" telephone chat lines? I'm having a hard time figuring out how to, on the one hand, find a "real girlfriend" while, on the other hand, getting someone who is interested in relationship-that-includes-sex rather than simply pay-for-play. I'm not sure the internet is the right place to do this -- I'm in school on a college campus, of course, so maybe I should just learn to pick girls up at the campus watering hole (although that's something I've never been able to do in the past, so I don't know why I'd think it would work in the future). But I'd like to maximize my likelihood of effectiveness on the internet.

So, there are really several questions. First, how to winnow out the sex providers who DON'T want a relationship, from the women who do, on certain services accessible by telecommunications. Second, which of those services is effective. Third, how to go about finding a girlfriend at all. Fourth, how to get a girlfriend who's actually interested in sex. And so on.

(Caveat: I'm using "get a girlfriend" as short-hand here. I'm not really assuming that the internet will "get a girlfriend" for me, but I didn't want to get into that whole philosophical / social conversation. Hmm. Didn't do a very good job of avoiding it, did I?)

Thanks for any advice! :)

17 comments

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avatar for magicrat
magicrat
16 years ago
Book Guy,

I've used Sugardaddyforme and have had some success. Some of the ladies are up front pay-for-play, others want the song and dance/get to know you/do we have chemistry thing, but ultimately, all roads are intended to lead to sex.

In the month I've been on the site ($40/month), I've hooked up with one gal for $100, had lunch with another (no chemistry either way), and am working on about 3 others and have gotten to the point where we both know what the deal is.

I think it's worth a try, but it can be time consuming determining who you might be interested in and going through the emails, im's, etc.

Good luck!
avatar for bornloser
bornloser
16 years ago
Quest is for 20 somethings and hookers I have found. I am not sure how old you are but the older you get-the pickings get mighty slim on sites like E-Harmonys and Match. The older women are looking for guys with a lot of money but most look like ugly ass sumo wrestlers. If I was rich-I am not- I sure would not waste my time on some ancient old lard ass.
avatar for yndy
yndy
16 years ago
book guy:

the "love and relationships" section on askmen.com message boards has hundreds, no, probably thousands, of posts on this topic. "its a numbers game" has been posted over and over and over again.

my friend, who is going on 48, tells me he met someone he likes (~age 43?) via eharmony.

www.plentyoffish.com is free.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
Make buddies with men who've been raped in the Divorce Court. That should cure your desire to get a girlfriend.

Watch "lady's men" and if you wouldn't mind being more like them ask yourself what they're doing right and if you can be a little more like that.

Two men that I knew had women beating down their doors for sex based on references. One man was tall and ruggedly good looking and dumb. When it came to sex, he was like a machine that wouldn't stop. Some of his women would gush unashamedly that he was the best they'd ever had. A hooker at Take One Lounge not only serviced him for free (to teach him a lesson about being a gentleman), but was so thrilled by him that she said that she was willing to pay him! The other man was short, fat, very ugly, and intelligent. He was also a machine that wouldn't stop. The women were crazy over his power. Hey, this is pre-Vigara so maybe the hard strong long lasting dick can't reel 'em like in the old days. . . . . . . Well, the dancers at Angels will kill for good tongue and the word spreads fast among these women if you're any good.

Another ugly man had the women eating out of his hand due to his quick wit and beautiful smile.

Bottom line hang out at Divorce Court and then appreciate the strippers and hookers as one of the best deals ever.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
Oh as some other poster said NUMBERS!!! I'm short, fat, poor and should have batted zero. Instead because I'll approach women out of my league and have contempt for rejection, I bat just a teeny tiny tot over zero. :)

There is an old saying that is very true. You gotta dig a lot o dirt usually before you hit gold. Yep, I'm aware there were a lot of gold miners that died broke. Moral? They didn't dig enough dirt or shoulda got in a different line of work. :)
avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
16 years ago
College co-eds are the best source for you right now. They understand that no one has any money and it's all just for fun, until senior year when some are trying to get a husband and a degree. There must be a lot of extra-curricular campus activities where you can meet and hook-up. If not, use the co-eds for practice to tighten up your game before you get into the real, cruel world.
avatar for Cougar289
Cougar289
16 years ago
I think there is a lot of fraud in some of the sites like adult finder and fling and the like. You ask certain questions on these sites and the answers have no connection to what was asked. You set up a meeting with a woman and suddenly she's in a car wreck and can't make it and then you find her same profile in a completely different city. Chemistry and PlentyOfFish (POF) are legit but its a lot of work to find someone interesting. I use POF for the weekly socials at bars (for us older guys) and meet some people that way. I met one woman who said she had a few extra lbs, but turned out she had about 200 extra lbs.

If your objective ia a "real girlfriend" then your two best options right now are either school related functions or one of these large mega churches that have a lot of socials for young people. These are places you can actually talk to someone and see if there is any chemistry there. If you want sex within the first two weeks then trash the church option.

For casual relationships with sex, but not a real girl friend finder, the bar scene in most large cities is your best option. There are a ton of 20 year old women at the bars right now and if you know how to dance it is a real gold mine for women that are looking for a quick hookup. There are also a fair number of 30 year olds at the bars looking for young studs just for the sex. They get turned off by the young conversation, but really like the sex.

Finally, if you are desperate like me I can set you up with women who will say they are your real girl friend but in truth they are not. They are very friendly and will have you believe that you are the only guy in town while you are with them. Even though it may cost you $100-200 per visit, it is the low cost girl friend option and will last as long as you have the cash. The trade in terms for a new girl friend are also very reasonable.

avatar for Timbuck12
Timbuck12
16 years ago
I had a lot of fun on Match and Yahoo Personals 4-5 years ago. I was in my early thirties then so I'm not sure how it would be for the other generations of users, but I sure enjoyed it. :) But the girls on those sites are looking for dating relationships and not one-night stands.
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
16 years ago
I think Super-Dude has the right plan ... I just haven't figured out how to make it work for me (yet).
avatar for ozymandias
ozymandias
16 years ago
A campus setting is a nice, miniaturized world to play in.

The best thing to do is meet girls in a setting you're comfortable in, where you can shine a bit and act "yourself". The best way to do this is meet them in hobby or interest-oriented clubs - that way you know the chick shares your interests. This is especially useful if you have geeky interests (like playing tabletop RPGs or being in a trivia team) which normally would steer girls *away* from you... suddenly they become plusses. And who doesn't like a hot gamer chick?

The sex aspect you just can't control that well - different women are more or less into it. From experience, young college girls generally are pretty sexual creatures (being young and also educated), but obviously don't expect professional-level services from them!

O.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
16 years ago
I visited those sites just to see out of curiosity but never attempted to use the sites and didn't want to pay anything. Now I notice on certain sites whenever I go surfing, I get pop-ups indicating some location I lived in over 10 years and a supposedly pop up message from some girl saying "Hey I see you live in.... let's hook up, etc. etc." The messages seem to be coming from these online dating sites. Someone must think these spam pop ups are generating revenue for them. I must have some crap on my pc from over 10 years ago from information copied from another pc.

I remember I did the basic free join on one site with nothing but my age etc. Then I supposed had over a dozen emails from sexy look girls wanting to meet up with me or have sex. Give me a break. I don't know what kind of scam that site is running. Of course you had to pay to see a pic of these females that was bigger than a tiny thumbnail. I didn't pay. They kept sending me messages for a month or two. One of the first messages was supposedly from one hot girl who stated that she made a bet with her friend to fuck more guys than her friend that joined the site. Suspicious I thought. What girl would send a message to some unknown guy like that with just an age and nothing else?

I thought about trying out one of the sites sometime when I'm not too busy. I always seem busy though.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
16 years ago
Some of those pics of local girls in my area scared me away too. The last thing I want is dozens of emails from people I'm not interested in. I guess if you're playing a numbers game that will be something to sort though like spam mail.
avatar for cobra45
cobra45
16 years ago
About 5+ years ago, I used Adult Friend Finder. It was very frustrating; you would see hundreds of ads and I probably sent messages to 50+, but most of them are fake and (I presume) made up by the site (I say that, b/c you would see the same pics mixed w/ different headlines in other states). Out of all the messages I sent, I found one actual real person; went out 3x, got one bj.
I also used Yahoo personals, but to no avail.
Hope this helps.
avatar for deogol
deogol
16 years ago
I've used yahoo personals. Nothing. I think it is more about them getting interest for their own emotional "I've still got it" than actually finding a relationship. At least for women my age.
avatar for Dain
Dain
16 years ago
The legit dating services are good for meeting woman who really want a relationship. Use MYSPACE to cruise your area. I've hit three for sex on it; all three were strippers and narcissistic enough to brag about it on their sites.
avatar for Blues84
Blues84
16 years ago
I have been successful on plentyoffish.com
avatar for ShotDisc
ShotDisc
16 years ago
craigslist, tagged for NSA hookups
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