recently offered bbbj with cim by dancer that I did not know. turned it down due to concern about std's. settled for hj with russian ending instead. wondering if i was right or just paranoid ?
Hard to give a generic answer, it depends on your risk tolerance, and factors such as are you married? In the latter case I would say it's irresponsible to indirectly put your wife at risk without her knowledge.
In reality, the big STDs of concern from oral sex are gonorrhea and HSV (herpes). HIV from oral sex is very rare. Some researchers even believe that transmission is not possible at all, but that is controversial.
Gonorrhea isn't such a big deal even if you got it: just take some antibiotics and it will nuke that shit. The bigger concern it that catching gonorrhea would about double your susceptibility to catching HIV later on.
As for HSV, do you already have it? About 80% of the population does: the % increasing the older the age group. If you got HSV, would it be a big deal to you? Other than the stigma and, especially, the fact that you would have to explain it to future partners, it's not that big a very serious disease all by itself. Also in the absence of cold sores the chance of her transmitting it to you is rather slim. (OTOH, if she offered it to you, just assume that she does every guy. I would just go with the assumption that she already HSV.)
There's alot of hysteria out there regarding STDs. It hard to explain risk/reward to the masses. In this case, on the reward side, how good does BBBJ feel to you compared to alternatives?
One thing is pretty certain: if you have doubts now, the first time you received one you would worry your ass for the next month about whether you caught something or not. It would certainly cancel out whatever utility you got from receiving the BBBJ. That's typical. After a while, though, you would likely, for good or worse, get numb to the (slight) risks.
Several years ago, I asked my urologist this question after a friend had asked me about it. The doctor's answer was that tou certainly can catch STD's from oral sex. He did not indicate what the level of risk was.
You were probably paranoid, but it's up to you what your tolerance for risk is.
People in general are amazingly bad at rationally assessing risk - the classic case of this is fear of flying vs. the real danger of driving, for example.
The chance of "catching something" is pretty remote, but the fact is, you could be presented with the hard data and, while it might attenuate your nervousness a little, you're still going to assess risk emotionally - it's just human nature for anyone not very, very quantitative in their thinking.
A BBBJ is supposed to be a happy time - if you worry, that's not happy, so why subject yourself to it!
"A BBBJ is supposed to be a happy time - if you worry, that's not happy, so why subject yourself to it!"
To attempt to conquer one's fear? To avoid future regret? I've always regretted not enjoying slut puppies fully. This one dancer many years ago was probably one of the healthiest people that I've ever met. She said that she began having sex long before puberty and had been with hundreds of men, but she just couldn't understand the value of sex without having feelings for the person. I asked her about disease and she said that she'd never been sick that she could remember. She didn't even know what it was like to have a cold! She just had no fear of disease even a little bit. She said she sees people getting sick and it doesn't seem real. Her only known family, her mom, never got sick either and didn't have any fear of disease, but was murdered fairly young---she didn't want to talk about that.
I very much liked this dancer, but I could never fully relax with her because of my fear of disease. Her thinking was if she never gets sick, then how could I get sick from her?
Like I said she was one of the healthiest people that I've ever met and I found her health exceedingly attractive. I could imagine surrounding her with contagious illnesses and she would appear to be immune looking as good as ever. Even when I was very strong, I was never any match for disease. Oh, she apparently was immune to addiction as well as disease. She said she didn't get much pleasure from drugs and didn't see the attraction; especially people killing themselves (addiction) over nothing (drugs).
I just spent 3 days at my favorite club. I DID NOT worry. If she was giving, I was taking. I don't know how many more years I have left but I am not going to change my life style.
My buddy was very old when he died. He looked like shit for a least a decade before his death. What is seared in my mind is the way he died. He was an extremely tough guy who could take a beating without regret or fear. Watching him suffer through a very slow and painful death will always be with me. I may look like shit and I may have very little time, but the suffering he went through was just something I don't think that I could take for even 24 hours.
When I think of disease, I think of his horrible death and his begging and crying for pain killers while he was in the hospital. It was good news the day I learned that he finally died. Until almost the very end he wanted to live no matter how much he was hurting and then he told me the pain was just too much and he felt he was going to have to throw in the towel. I would have been throwing in the towel many weeks earlier. I wouldn't want to put a detested enemy through such agony and misery.
Get the HPV vaccination to avoid genital warts (and your wife now/later cervical cancer) which is extremely contagious. you can get it from any skin contact. look up pictures on the net of lesions and you run to the Dr to get the vaccine that prevents it.
HSV: does she have a cold sore or any redness around her mouth/ kitty, if she has it vaginally, chances are she has it orally. the first days of a lesion may not be visible
HIV: no reported cases from saliva. a couple of reported cases from bleeding gums. if she has bad oral hygeine there is probably traces of blood in her mouth.
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In reality, the big STDs of concern from oral sex are gonorrhea and HSV (herpes). HIV from oral sex is very rare. Some researchers even believe that transmission is not possible at all, but that is controversial.
Gonorrhea isn't such a big deal even if you got it: just take some antibiotics and it will nuke that shit. The bigger concern it that catching gonorrhea would about double your susceptibility to catching HIV later on.
As for HSV, do you already have it? About 80% of the population does: the % increasing the older the age group. If you got HSV, would it be a big deal to you? Other than the stigma and, especially, the fact that you would have to explain it to future partners, it's not that big a very serious disease all by itself. Also in the absence of cold sores the chance of her transmitting it to you is rather slim. (OTOH, if she offered it to you, just assume that she does every guy. I would just go with the assumption that she already HSV.)
There's alot of hysteria out there regarding STDs. It hard to explain risk/reward to the masses. In this case, on the reward side, how good does BBBJ feel to you compared to alternatives?
One thing is pretty certain: if you have doubts now, the first time you received one you would worry your ass for the next month about whether you caught something or not. It would certainly cancel out whatever utility you got from receiving the BBBJ. That's typical. After a while, though, you would likely, for good or worse, get numb to the (slight) risks.
People in general are amazingly bad at rationally assessing risk - the classic case of this is fear of flying vs. the real danger of driving, for example.
The chance of "catching something" is pretty remote, but the fact is, you could be presented with the hard data and, while it might attenuate your nervousness a little, you're still going to assess risk emotionally - it's just human nature for anyone not very, very quantitative in their thinking.
A BBBJ is supposed to be a happy time - if you worry, that's not happy, so why subject yourself to it!
O.
"A BBBJ is supposed to be a happy time - if you worry, that's not happy, so why subject yourself to it!"
To attempt to conquer one's fear? To avoid future regret? I've always regretted not enjoying slut puppies fully. This one dancer many years ago was probably one of the healthiest people that I've ever met. She said that she began having sex long before puberty and had been with hundreds of men, but she just couldn't understand the value of sex without having feelings for the person. I asked her about disease and she said that she'd never been sick that she could remember. She didn't even know what it was like to have a cold! She just had no fear of disease even a little bit. She said she sees people getting sick and it doesn't seem real. Her only known family, her mom, never got sick either and didn't have any fear of disease, but was murdered fairly young---she didn't want to talk about that.
I very much liked this dancer, but I could never fully relax with her because of my fear of disease. Her thinking was if she never gets sick, then how could I get sick from her?
Like I said she was one of the healthiest people that I've ever met and I found her health exceedingly attractive. I could imagine surrounding her with contagious illnesses and she would appear to be immune looking as good as ever. Even when I was very strong, I was never any match for disease. Oh, she apparently was immune to addiction as well as disease. She said she didn't get much pleasure from drugs and didn't see the attraction; especially people killing themselves (addiction) over nothing (drugs).
When I think of disease, I think of his horrible death and his begging and crying for pain killers while he was in the hospital. It was good news the day I learned that he finally died. Until almost the very end he wanted to live no matter how much he was hurting and then he told me the pain was just too much and he felt he was going to have to throw in the towel. I would have been throwing in the towel many weeks earlier. I wouldn't want to put a detested enemy through such agony and misery.
Get the HPV vaccination to avoid genital warts (and your wife now/later cervical cancer) which is extremely contagious. you can get it from any skin contact. look up pictures on the net of lesions and you run to the Dr to get the vaccine that prevents it.
HSV: does she have a cold sore or any redness around her mouth/ kitty, if she has it vaginally, chances are she has it orally. the first days of a lesion may not be visible
HIV: no reported cases from saliva. a couple of reported cases from bleeding gums. if she has bad oral hygeine there is probably traces of blood in her mouth.