Does one rude dancer ruin your strip club visit?

avatar for casualguy
casualguy
Your minding your own business. Dancers keep asking for dances. One dancer you're not the slightest interested in asks for a dance and is very rude after you turn her down. Do you get ticked off or just forget about it? I was ticked off for about 5 minutes the other night but then I decided to go to another club and totally forgot about it.

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avatar for casualguy
casualguy
16 years ago
I was about ready to leave the club I was in already. Fortunately, I did not encounter any more rude dancers.
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DandyDan
16 years ago
Depends on how many other dancers there are. I went to one fairly recently where they had 4 dancers and naturally, the least attractive one comes up to me from out of nowhere and asks for a dance. I tell her no and then she goes off about how she isn't making money (maybe she shouldn't just magically appear and ask "Wanna dance?") and she does this cliche thing about how if I buy a dance from her, I will never forget it. I don't know if it entirely ruined it, but even though I tipped the other dancers, I was apparently persona non grata that day, because none of them came by, even though I asked the one to do so.

On the other hand, if there is a lot of them, one rude dancer is just one rude dancer. There is still plenty to go around.
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mmdv26
16 years ago
For me, a trip to the club is rarely "ruined" by any single act or dancer. If my visit is ruined, it's usually because I have a bad attitude that day, or I get a dance from a girl bigger than me.
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BobbyI
16 years ago
Let's face it: Strippers are not the classiest women in the world. Rudeness from a stripper is hardly a shock. "Just another piece of poor white trash" I think, and it's forgotten seconds later.
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bornloser
16 years ago
It just happened. One hustled me for at least 30 minutes and when I kept saying no, she started nagging me. "Why did you come into a stripclub if you are going to act like this?" she said. I left after that.
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zorro
16 years ago
If a stripper was rude to me, I'd probably laugh, cuz hey, she's a stripper!
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shadowcat
16 years ago
Of course not. There are rude people everywhere. Parodyman and MRGAY Do not stop me from enjoying the rest of the posts from you guys.
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ChillinTheMost
16 years ago
Rude dancers don't piss me off unless they tell all their friends that I'm an asshole. And if she was hot and worth the time, I wouldn't have given her a reason to be rude. Rude bitch = won't bother you anymore.
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Ironcat
16 years ago
The only thing that rankles me is when you agree on a price for 2 or 3 dances and right in the middle of it I get the up-sell routine. I know strippers just want your money, but bargaining in the middle of a dance just ruins the mood for me.
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casualguy
16 years ago
I don't like the upsell routine either especially during the middle of a dance. How long you remember a rude dancer is usually dependent upon how many other dancers are there to distract you, if you don't leave the club immediately afterwards and head off for a different one. Of course one rude dancer is the reason some guys are ticked off and then an unsuspecting dancer may get less polite treatment if she asks for a dance or anything immediately afterwards. I've seen where one rude dancer circulated around a whole club full of people pissing guys off all over the club then another dancer following in her wake was getting rude treatment just trying to talk or sit with the customers.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
16 years ago
Rude dancers are mood killers. I might be in a good mood and it does only take one rude dancer to change that mood. I change from someone having fun tipping the dancers to sitting at a table like a rock deciding upon whether or not to leave. However if I came to see other dancers I might forget about her or at least try to after a few minutes.
avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
16 years ago
If she's rude and spoiling your evening, tell her you will talk to the manager. If she persists, talk to the manager. You might lose some hits from other dancers, but some might enjoy winning the guy with the big balls. Dancers stick together, but not when a guy with money stands up for himself and his dollars.
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Clubber
16 years ago
No.
avatar for how
how
16 years ago
There is one at El Paso's "Red Parrot" who aggressively tries to ruin others' enjoyment. She makes herself difficult to ignore.
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evilcyn
16 years ago
Never understood this idea in a dancer.. I am there to make money, and yes I so hope you want like a billion dances..
Why in the future if I am rude now, is there any hope of ever making a dollar in the future from someone..
I don't know how many times someone I maybe met the first few times, didn't get a dance... After that they may end up being a great customer, or someone that can help reach my drink quota.
Rude dancers piss me off I think more then it does you guys..
You guys are in reality paying my bills, why would being rude benefit any dancer in the club overall and in the future.
avatar for arbeeguy
arbeeguy
16 years ago
"Why would being rude benefit any dancer...."

Did you ever hear of compulsion?

Or addiction? (maybe the same thing.)

A lot of people do things that are definitely NOT IN THEIR OWN SELF-INTEREST. Occasionally it may be ignorance, but more often I think they just can't help themselves
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jablake
16 years ago
"Why would being rude benefit any dancer...."

Well, she is being kicked in the teeth all night long and it's cathartic from top to bottom; perhaps.
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motorhead
16 years ago
I rarely have encountered rude dancers - most dancers I have met seem have the same attitude as evilcyn. If I turn them down, they smile and hope for the better the next time.

But one time at a lap dance factory where I was used to the dancers coming up and asking "wanna dance", one girl came up to me said something....the music was loud and I didn't hear her - I assumed she asked me for a dance so I said "no thanks". She got really pissed and sharply said, "I didn't ask you for a dance".

I didn't like her attitude, but I was partly to blame, so I certainly didn't let it ruin my visit.
avatar for ShotDisc
ShotDisc
16 years ago
i try to be as polite as i can when I have to turn down a dance. but if i get attitude, i just give it back. visited Wackos in Jax today. it is a dive, but a fun dive. well there is one dancer there who is definitely out of place. she is very pretty but has outrageously fake boobs. she thinks her shit doesn't stink and that she is better than all the rest. the reason she dances there is because she doesn't have to get topless. I watched as she was ignored both onstage and working the floor. she came and plopped down at my table and sat there watching the big screen, smoking like a chimney. i said she didn't look happy. she acted like i wasn't even there. finally she asked me my name and asked if i minded if she smoked. i said yes i did, and she got up and left in a huff. and she probably wonders why she doesn't make any money?
avatar for arealdancer
arealdancer
16 years ago
if a stripper is being pushy tell her shes beautiful but not what your looking for if not name another stripper you do like so shell get off your case..or just keep saying no lol
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casualguy
16 years ago
I guess if you're asked for dances over 100 times in a few days, one rude dancer is less than 1 percent of the time. It seems to come with the territory (strip clubs) with some clubs even worse at times than just 1 percent. I believe some dancers don't even realize how rude they are. I say this because I've had dancers act very rudely after turning them down for dances, then, less than 30 minutes to an hour later either they don't remember me or don't remember they were rude because they are asking me for a dance again.
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casualguy
16 years ago
I do remember visiting one strip club early Saturday evening before much of a crowd showed up. Only a few customers had arrived so far even though it was after 9 PM. One dancer refused to leave me alone. I told her no thanks and every possible combination. She argued with me instead for about 10 to 15 minutes before I got upset to leave her at the table I was sitting at because she apparently was not going to. I was in a good mood when I arrived but feeling a bit angry at a dancer who doesn't know when to leave after that. I think that was only the second time in the last 2 years that I've had a dancer refuse to leave me alone. Perhaps other times I don't mind a pretty dancer not leaving me alone so it doesn't bother me.
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SuperDude
16 years ago
A dancer will turn on the rude routine to try to shame you into buying dances. Any guy with self-respect should say "NO" right away.
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JMelbourne27
16 years ago
A rude dancer CAN ruin my visit if I'm not in a good mood already, but in a GOOD club there should be LOTS of other CUTIES that you can beckon over who will make you feel better fast.

If there aren't, F*^& that club and go to a good one, NOW!!!
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
16 years ago
If a dancer is rude, she's not going to get any dances from me as long as I remember her on any night. However how long I remember her depends upon on how rude she was, how angry she made me, and how many other dancers made me forget about her. I usually remember for at least a few days. I've noticed I remember some incidents months later but can't remember what the dancer looked like. Now if I do remember a rude dancer months later, she just lost out on the possibility of getting dances from me that week but for months even if she has long forgotten the episode.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
16 years ago
There was once a dancer who wasn't just rude, she stole money out of my pocket, a real thief. I told an employee in the club and left angry. I emailed the management and came back and spoke to the manager. He thanked me, and actually gave me my money back, did his own investigation and I confirmed he had found the stripper thief pick pocket, had her fired (even though he just said it made his decision easier and didn't mention firing). He just said she would be some other clubs problem. Needless to say, the bouncers and dancers in that club didn't seem to treat me just like any customer after that. I typically do not like to be well known in a club though and just blend in with the crowd even though I can be bad at that at times. Seeing dancers get fired doesn't seem unusual to me. I've seen 2 or 3 get fired for getting nude in a topless club in front of me and a few others even though I was one of the first ones she got nude in front of (they were both on the main stage though). One dancer got fired for leaving early (she was pissed off at the manager already), I was partly to blame because she wanted to leave with me so if I hadn't been there that night..., another dancer quit working because I had an argument with her, that's not the same thing though. She knew I would be there and didn't want to see me anymore. She came back after a few months. Dancers can get rude from time to time but hopefully it isn't something you have to get used to.
avatar for how
how
16 years ago
Cyn pointed out the fact that it makes no sense for a dancer to be rude, as it lowers her likelihood of earning more money. I have an idea why some dancers ignore that fact.

Many dancers feel insecurities, even if they are fine and lovely people. Perhaps their low self-esteem comes from maltreatment by family members, or other causes. Some of these ladies see their co-workers as such competition, they practically regard them as enemies. They adapt the unspoken attitude towards those other dancers: "You must fail, so I may succeed." That ironically leads them to rude behavior, counter to their own success.
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
16 years ago
I'm often surprised by the amount of expectations a given average dancer brings into her interactions with customers. Mostly, I've noticed this phenomenon in interactions between myself and a dancer, but I've seen it happen between other guys and a dancer, too, so I know it's not JUST me, though there may be a significant element of my own proclivities giving rise to this phenomenon.

I see girls who really "expect to be treated like a lady" (which is perfectly reasonable) but who don't exactly express what they mean by that. For instance, some girls instantly find it rude for a man to offer to buy her a drink. "Are you trying to get me drunk?" Other girls instantly find it rude to NOT be offered a drdink. "Why the hell do you think I'm here?" It's always a "you ought to KNOW what the RIGHT way to behave" assumption on the dancer's part.

This extends further than just drink-buying. Some girls "hate" it when guys "grope" too much, but also the same girls give full-contact lappers in which male hand-contact on most female body parts is considered by the client AND BY THE DANCER to be part of the price of admission. Other girls "hate" it when men talk about the other girls in the room, or when men don't talk about the other girls. Some dancers absolutely insist that it's "just not classy" to ask up front for ITC or OTC services (in a polite way?) whereas other dancers get annoyed that men "assume" they will or won't do a certain thing without asking.

The problem isn't with the level of performance of "gentlemanliness" or "rudeness" on the part of the dancer or client. It's with that typical female conundrum -- what do women want? "if you were a better person you would already know." Women in general, and young flighty frivolous women in particular, have the idea that a "good" set of behaviors isn't, necessarily, that which a group or a pair of individuals agrees upon. Rather, it's a set of behaviors which the woman has a right to expect, and define, and remain silent about, and complain about when it isn't forthcoming.

They grow out of that. They also grow into fat ugly old age. If you're lucky you can find one who has grown out of the one and not yet into the other.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
16 years ago
I met another dancer last night in a crowded club that decided to stay and argue with me rather than leave my table after I turned her down for dances. The club was crowded and I didn't see any reason for her to stay and argue with me. I believe some people have expectations of what is rude and what is not rude. Apparently the dancer who wanted to argue with me didn't know how to leave politely. She asked a question that went something like "what are you, gay, crazy or something else (I couldn't hear due to the too high music volume)?" That is rude to ask a question like that. I think the next time a dancer asks me a question like that I'm just going to say something crazy like "I remember a dream where I killed people at random and enjoyed it very much. However I thought that dream came from Satan himself and I don't know why Satan has so much interest in me. I think Satan should just get lost and not come back. What do you think?"
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
16 years ago
I probably need to look at the dancers face and try to remember her face longer than a few seconds so I can avoid these dancers in the future. I've been ignoring such dancers as much as possible but that means I don't remember what they look like. I think I smile too much and some dancers mistake me smiling for thinking I will be agreeable with them. However I'm smiling because I was in a good mood before they decided to argue with me.
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