Customers Who Stare Down Dancers

They might be shy, broke, not attracted when the dancer gets closer, wasn't aware they were doing it, an incel, or in my case I might be wicked stoned and simply staring off into space and not seeing anyone or anything.

Different guys likely stare for different reasons including from op's original descriptions some of it just sounds creepy.

Could be a combination of things but I’m guessing mostly creepy. Im guessing if you go over, you’ll find a general lack of social skills await you

I prefer the simple direct approach. Tip her on stage and ask her for a dance when she get off (I do hate it when I do this and she comes out and sits on her phone,). Or, here's one, I go up to the dancer, if she's alone or with other dancers and ask her if has time for a private dance.

It can be different things. Some people are so self-unaware that they don't realize they are staring. (Along with that, they may be mouth breathers.) This probably explains the ones that wave you off when you approach.

Other guys think they are actually communicating to you via a stare. So, no, they are not aware you can't read their mind. I had a friend who read women like eye contact. He thought that meant he should burn a hole right through their head with his eyes. Women did not seem to react well to that (!), but he never did change his ways. They would practically start crawling the walls to get away from him.

Once I was spending time with a favorite dancer, and I noticed a young PL staring at her mournfully. I asked him what his deal was, and she shrugged. I surmised he got dances with her one night, and thought they were now lovers. I think he expected her to meet his gaze and come running right over to him. Again, this did not work.

In summary, these guys are either really dense, or psychos. I suggest if you can't ignore them, approach and give the old "Were you looking at me?" If they were in zombieland, this should wake them up.

I always appreciate a dancer approaching me. Also happy to approach her, if she's had her fill of hearing no that shift. Me personally, I prefer her to leave within a couple minutes if we haven't agreed to go for a lap dance. To give other dancers a chance to approach me. But I understand dancers have problems with customers getting irate because they were asked for a dance "too quickly". I once told a dancer, after a couple minutes, that I wouldn't be interested in getting dances with her. She acted offended. Too bad so many people have ideas about what's polite, that require others to mind read.

It is a little difficult for guys to not stare at pretty girls. I do not normally stare at pretty women in public places just out of politeness but feel it is socially acceptable at a strip club where I paid to get in, paid for a drink and will pay for lap dances. I will not give money to every pretty stripper I look at but will almost always spend money on at least one. I have probably spent fifty thousand dollars on strippers over the years.

After 16 years of strip club visits, I find just staring at a stripper is not the best way to show my interest. I usually approach them on stage, while they are walking around the club or sitting or standing by themselves. I do not approach them while they are sitting with another customer. I like it when a stripper thinks about how to put herself in a position where guys like me would feel comfortable approaching her.

@BubbleYum

If I'm wanting a dancer to come over, I'm usually making it pretty damn obvious that I'd love to have her company. I like eye contact, but definitely not glaring at a dancer, nor do I want her glaring back at me either! A warm smile goes a long way, as does a respectable tip. I'll usually walk up to her, introduce myself, and tell her that I'd love for her to stop by if/when she has time. If she's sitting by herself, I'll likely ask if it would be alright if I join her. I like to make my interest really obvious, but without being pushy or demanding...

As for those customers who seem to have a staring problem, I wish I knew what to tell you about that... I've occasionally had dancers stare me down as well, although I'm sure it doesn't happen nearly as often as it does the other way around. I absolutely hate having that shit done to me, so I can at least relate a tiny bit...

Random story # 1: There's a dude that works at a hardware store that I go into once in a blue moon, and trying to interact with him is literally like trying to interact with a mannequin. I can say hello, I can nod, I can smile, hell, I could probably even break into a musical number, and all this guy will ever do is stare back at me...no expressions, no words, no motion, no grunts, no NOTHING. Had I not seen him walking around the store a few times, I might have just assumed that he was a wax figure. 😂 And I really wish I were even slightly exaggerating this story, but...nope!

Random story #2: I saw two guys, probably high schoolers, sitting together in a McDonald's last week. I was in the restaurant for about 10 minutes, and I don't think they said one word to each other the whole time I was in there. Both of them just looked down at their cell phones while they ate their food. It's not like I was really trying to pay attention to them, as I was simply waiting on my food. But you just couldn't help notice the complete silence in the dining area, as two "friends" found it more interesting to interact with their phones than to actually have a conversation...

I guess my only point with those two stories is that I frequently find myself confused about the world I see around me, so I'm probably not much help to someone who might be just as confused as I am...lol

The look from me is to determine if a dancer is someone I might consider visually. The look away is , I might be waiting for a better option!

The friend who introduced me to strip clubbing would turn into statue during lap dances. He would cross his arms over his chest, close his mouth, and just watch stone-faced and expressionless while a dancer was grinding on him. Outside of that, he was animated, garrulous, charming, and very generous. He made friends and favorites everywhere he went, but his behavior during lap dances was just plain weird.

So I've noted that too good a verbal interaction can lead to less friction from a quality entertainer.

it varies. most of the time, the guys in the clubs are completely unaware that they've been staring. society tells them not to stare at a woman, especially not her boobs. so when they're at the club, sometimes they stare too long. i took a break from a club for about six months. i had an ATF that i didn't hear from (texts, etc) during that period. When i came back in, i tipped her and sat at the bar. she didn't come over for a good while and danced for other customers. when she finally came over she thought i was upset with her for blocking me (i had no idea) and that i was staring her down. turns out, she blocked me because her phone screen was broken and she couldn't reply to text messages and she got frustrated at receiving them, so she blocked people sending them. i'd chalk any stares to just awkwardness. remember, these men need to pay money for women to talk to them. :)

Speaking only for myself, if I'm staring at you on stage without tipping, it's probably because I'm lost in a lustful daydream about you, and standing up would be embarrassing. Not that most people would probably notice...

Seriously though, I am probably either zoned out, or comfortable and don't want to get up. The dancer might be mildly interesting, but I'm waiting to see more.

If I'm looking at you while you're on the floor, It's probably because I'm deciding if I want to get up and go over. If I maintain eye contact when you look at me, I almost certainly am interested.

I try not to "stare" when someone is with another customer, but if we make eye contact and I keep it, I am probably interested there too. After that, I'll only glance back once in a while to let you know I'm still interested.

However, if I'm in a room with a bunch of beautiful naked or nearly naked women, I'm going to be looking at most of them almost all the time. I'm not there to watch TV or gaxe into my water bottle.

My reason for being there is to get lap dances. I only watch the stage show while waiting for a lap dance with someone who tickles my fancy. I tip every stage dancer a couple of singles as a courtesy. But some strippers will get pissed at you for that. They seem to think you shouldn't bother, unless it's enough bills to at least make a light drizzle.
You could ask the club to raise the cover by, say, $20, and include 20 club script singles. Dancers (only) could be paid/tipped with the script, which the club would trade for cash. It's justifiable, because the typical strip club business model doesn't work with too many customers who gawk at the strippers, without giving them any $.

They are probably trying to establish a telepathic link similar to the Vulcan Mind Meld. If you come, you've given them proof the telepathic link worked.

"Across the crowded, darkened room, their eyes met, not for just a moment but for a lifetime. Slowly, surely, excitedly, they made their..."

God! That cliche's become so engrained in our society's consciousness, that it's probably also become the expectation of many, at mostly a subconscious level, and people are acting on it without realizing it -- at least not until the dancer approaches, then it becomes an "Oh Shit!" moment and then the starer desperately tries to crawl back into their shells.

On that note, I admit it: I'm a starer. I like the looks. I like the smiles. I like feeling like I might actually be flirting with a pretty woman without actually trying to talk to her, without worrying about stuffing my foot in my mouth trying hold even a semblance of a conversation (yeah, I'm pathologically shy). If she doesn't come other, no harm, no foul.

And if she does...

Oh Shit!

You can just think of them as the men who stare at GOAT strippers.

Many guys don’t have self awareness

Some who stare and just trying to make eye contact

Coming over to check which one is a good move

"Staring down" definitely isn't the way, but as I'm browsing the club I'll definitely attempt to establish eye contact with a potentially promising dancer. If she's not looking my way I'm not going to constantly stare, but just check back in from time to time. Once eye contact is established, I'll smile or nod to underscore my interest, but after that it's up to her. There are usually other options. And, I never "wave off" anybody. If somebody approaches that I'm not interested in, I still give her the courtesy of a cordial greeting before gently blowing her off. Just staring for the sake of staring or "waving off" a dancer you've been staring at is dysfunctional behavior, even by SC standards. Stageside, if I'm interested in the dancer (wouldn't be stageside if I wasn't) I'll slip her a few bucks from the get go and add a few more each song. That's more likely to get attention than a staring contest. I'll look for an opportunity for a brief convo and a suggestion that we talk afterward. Beyond that, I don't want to distract her from performing her set.

They’re eye fucking you. It’s cheaper than getting a dance.

When you're a stripper, or your income is otherwise derived 100% from commission on your own sales, it's pretty much impossible to not overthink your pitch. I think there's always going to be those customers who actually enjoy being dismissive or worse when approached by a stripper. They feel like they need payback for the women they hit on who weren't interested.