Meeting outside the club

57 comments

• jablake

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  16 years ago

  I very much enjoy meeting dancers OTC whether it ultimately be--good or bad. If she's cute, then I hope you'll keep this image in your mind: Picture Bambi with FEROCIOUS TEETH perhaps sporting some juicy red blood. Thinking love?: Remember Bambi!
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  Great image! lol Seriously, I've dated many dancers, some with good, even great results, some not so good. Some short term and some relatively long. I think one of the keys to getting that "date" if you want it is to communicate a few times prior to returning. These ladies get propositioned all the time and they need to feel comfortable with you. But whatever you do keep your head on straight and remember the TEETH.
• leo100

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  16 years ago

  I've met many dancers OTC. Depends on what type of relationship you are after. Are you looking for strictly business (getting privates) or friendship/dating? If you have to ask to see her outside, chances are she's not interested in you for dating . Most will outright suggest to see you outside if they want to date you. There is a direct correlation between your age and dancers wanting to go out with you, believe it or not. In the past yr, i've seen 3 outside for dating (2 are 9s-10s). I'm not bragging, just stating the fact. But be careful what you wish for. I've come to realize the novelty factor wears off real fast after the 1st date, and you may not want a 2nd. You are better off dating someone in real life, with more substance. Most these dancers don't have anything beyond beauty and cant hold a conversation, let alone a relationship.
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  I am pessimistic. Usually "maybe" or "not sure" with a stripper means "no". They'll know if they want to or not, and any "uncertainty" is, almost certainly, game playing. Any in case, I say keep looking. You'll find one before long. Few things in the world are better than meeting a stripper OTC... and fucking her in the ass!
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  try. whats the harm?
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  Wonergrl2, don't mean to get to personal but, have you ever dated OTC andI mean dated or had a relationship? From a dancers perspective, as long as you are safe and in control, what's the downside. MIght help some of us to know that point of view.
• jablake

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  16 years ago

  What's the harm??? Besides being sliced and diced by her male relatives you mean? Pemanent emotional scars that will lead to a perpetual state of lonliness and deep seated misogyny and financial devastation and etc.
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  jablake sounds like dating to me. doesnt always work out
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  besides you said you enjoy meeting otc previously
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  clubman2 I can only say from my generations perspective. I rew up in a party town so dating a dancer wasnt a big deal. I didnt dance but I dated a female dancer AND married a male dancer. Its a world im used to and a bohemian state of mind I was raised in. I guess what im saying is you can date an asshole be it dancer or doctor depends on the person. Will I factor in statistics and figures on how unsuccessful the relationships are NO WAY. I believe in the individual. Am I a good person to say one way or the other no cause this is a guy asking a guys advice my perspective will be viewed as skewed. And to be honest I dont want to deal with debating [view link]
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  wow pardon any typos my pc crashed
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  lol Got it. Maybe some other time and thread. I'd love to know or at lest try to understand the dancers perspective in general in this area. Having had good and bad myself I understand the individual perspective. I know many dancers become jaded about men after a while but there really are some men out there that are decent or at least try to be.
• jablake

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  16 years ago

  "besides you said you enjoy meeting otc previously" YES!!! And, I may also enjoy crack cocaine or heroin or marijuana (marijuana is fantastic, btw, imho). Just because because I enjoy something doesn't mean there isn't danger lurking everywhere as in the prior examples of CC, H, and M. Strippers, imo, are far more dangerous than those 3 mental stimulants. :) As you pointed out, the perils sound like dating----Dating a real life Bambi with FEROCIOUS TEETH!!! That means be verry verry careful when hunting err dating err OTCing.
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  See clubman2 im not the right person to ask i dont qualify to answer
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  Like I said, maybe another time and thread. I'd still like the dancer's perspective even if it has to be antecdotal(sp) but persoanl experience is always better. Details not required but would be interesting LOL
• shadowcat

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  16 years ago

  I have met strippers OTC for both reasons. For dinner socially because I like them and paid sexually because I like them. I know 5 currently that trust me and would meet me OTC for one or the other or both. I have had some rotten luck lately. Timing is everything. Just don't go expecting but be prepared for anything.
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  I hear that. I have two that I'm currently seeing socially, from the same club and ran into an ex today. Unfortunately she's involved but I find it best not to keep them secret from each other. When ever you do they always find out then you're really screwed. Got off point,when ever we go out it's like any other date, you never know what's going to happen. They are women after all. lol
• chitownlawyer

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  16 years ago

  I have met strippers outside the club on numerous occasions. Every time that the stripper proposed the meeting, it happened, assuming that I wanted it to happen, as well. Every time that I have proposed the meeting, it didn't happen. Fortunately, I have been approached a fair number of times, more frequently as I became a regular at certain clubs. Keep in mind that my only interest in OTC is sex for money. My marriage is great in every way except sexually. Because I would just as soon stay married, and am not looking for emotional attachments outside of marriage, I do not seek any romantic/social OTCs. That having been said, I have established relationships with strippers that have involved us telephoning/texting just to BS when we weren't in a hotel room fucking. But pay-for-play was the primary focus of the relationship, and that's how I wanted it, and continue to want it to be. I had a strange experience in a club the other night...sitting with two strippers, one who I have met outside the club a couple of times, the other dancer someone who I am meeting this coming week. The first dancer was telling the other one what I like in bed, what positions, etc. Perhaps when I got up to use the can, she also told the other girl how I was in bed....but I was spared getting that blow to my ego in person
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  IMO best to keep it all about sex if you do meet OTC and are paying. Look these girls aren't really going to like you unless you an abusive, leather clad biker with a drinking problem. They can relate to that (daddy!). And if they do connect to you on that level: a) your not the type of guy who pays; b) they won't expect or want you to.
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  Dude, you need to find some new clubs or something.
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  correlation right????
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  ^^^fyi satire lol
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  This help validate the inverse correlation model I mentioned. lol
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  Oh, of course, at your clubs, clubman, the OTC girls are ivy league graduates and love you for your kindness and MBA and knowledge of french cuisine.
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  Damn, how did you know?
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  Because Ivy league graduates are just dying to fuck rich, generous, kind gentlemen for money. That's why nearly all them become strippers.
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  ^^^fyi satire lol
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  Oh my God, you mean I'm supposed to be paying them? Man when that bill comes I'm gonna be up a creek.
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  Oh, yeah, you are banging strippers for left, right, and centre for free, and have to come in this thread and ask "why won't strippers date customers? I just don't understand". For sure!
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  Obviously! Just because you have had reasonble success doesn't mean you can't improve. Don't forget my MBA, knowledge and the french cuisine.
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  ^^^ and your BS.
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  You'd be amazed at what some intelect and kindness can achieve when the majority of patrons are either imbeciles or groping fools trying to BUY a cheap quickie
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  Dude. Get real. They want to party and do drugs.
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  I think we're back to the correlation. I repeat in different terms, I think you've been exposed to a very narrow spectrum of clubs. In my travels around the country I find that your stereo typical idea of strip clubs is the exception and not the rule. Try it, you may be pleasantly surprised.
• chandler

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  16 years ago

  Back to the original question, there's nothing in your narration that points to her wanting to date you, and everything that points to her wanting to humor a customer. The way she dances for you doesn't mean anything. Nor does getting a phone number from her that works. Nor would her returning your call or agreeing to meet you. Actually having her show up like she promised would be the first sign that you might have something going. You're a long way from that. You already answered your own question with the bit about striking while the iron is hot. Doing that gives you the best chance of succeeding, and also saves you a lot of wasted time and aggravation over calls going unreturned, being stood up, flimsy excuses and a long list of other things that aren't nice.
• njscfan

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  16 years ago

  First, I agree with Bobby and Chandler that in your particular case it does not sound likely that you will meet this particular girl OTC. But there is no harm in asking. I've had girls say no on one occasion only to say yes later. Second, I agree with multiple posters that I would stick with pay-to-play sex, and avoid "dating". Nothing against strippers per se, but I think strip clubs are a poor choice for a dating service for a number of obvious reasons. Third, I also agree with Bobby that any claim of regularly fucking hot strippers for free is BS. Can it sometimes happen? Sure, but it is the very rare exception not the rule. If a stripper was willing to "date" you she would expect it to be a exclusive relation just like any other girl. Strippers (and hookers) are not sex maniacs they are just doing a job. They are not going to have lots of random sex with guys unless they are getting paid. Last, I agree the key to sex OTC is mutual trust. Most sensible girls will not agree to meet you in a hotel room after only one or two encounters ITC (and if they do, that should give you pause). If you want to fuck a girl OTC, visit her repeatedly at the club and build up a level of trust. Then if she's willing to make some extra $$$, she will hook up with you.
• clubman2

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  16 years ago

  njscfan I agree completely with the majority of your comments. And for clarity, I never said that this was a normal all the time occurance. And personnaly I'm not interested in someone who is giving it out with regularity to multiple guys. There are a think two notaable exceptions to the comment on exclusivity. One, there are ladies that are in another relationship that for some reason isn't solid or is troubled in some way and therefore are not in a position to ask for exclusivity for you and are not ready to give up on the other yet, and two, those ladies that want someone they can trust, have fun with and feel comfortable with but don't want a committed relationship for whatever reason, maybe not just right at the time. Granted neither of these want or would tolerate someone that is hitting on everybody but total exclusivity is not an issue. Rare, yes. Established over an extended period of time , yes. But they do occssionaly happen and once in a while you can get very fortunate. Hell, I even almost married one that developed this way a few years ago. But, for the most part you are right.
• ClevelandTom

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  16 years ago

  I have experiences with three dancers OTC. One offered oral only and was a pain in the ass. . . I don't see her anymore. One offered FS at a reasonable rate, which I took advantage of and had a great time. I still talk to her and would see her again. The third was more like a date (or couple of dates) with extras coming at no cost. She has easily been the best experience.
• Orebell

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  16 years ago

  Thanks for all the comments. I think the thread got hijacked a little bit. I am not getting my hopes up too high of hooking up with this girl OTC and having anything happen between us. The more and more I think about it, it really might be a waste of time. Nothing personal against her, but I am looking for someone who I can date and have a relationship with. What would be nice would be to spend an evening with her, have a little fun, and screw each others brains out. Actually I am setting my sights on getting back to Rio de Janeiro. Was there about a year ago and it was off the charts incredible. Imagine going into your favorite strip club except for there maybe being 10 to 20 girls, there are 100 to 125. And all of them are on the menu to take back to a room and have some fun. Not only that, if you are interested in a girl, all you have to do is look her way and make some eye contact and she will be over to you in a flash. Usually you can hang out in the bar area and if you and her can communicate some, have some conversation. If you like her and she likes you, within minutes she will be kissing you and you two can play around a little bit before going to a room. Sometimes if it is really busy and rooms are taken you get to play a little longer waiting for a room and it does not cost you a dime. The girl for an hour in a room, entry in to the club, a drink or two will run you about $125. After you are done, you can shower, shave, brush your teeth, sit in the steam room or just relax and watch some TV. Then when you are recharged, you can go back into the bar area and do it all over again with a different girl if you so choose. And since many of these clubs are closed on the weekends, many of these girls will hook up with you for an all nighter for what many girls charge for an hour here in the states. Trust me, going there will ruin you as far as expectations. And believe it or not, there are many of these clubs all over Rio. None as big as my favorite, but some of the smaller ones maybe have anywhere from 15 to 30 girls. It really is a place like no other. And do not worry about it if you do not speak the language. Sure, it helps but it is not necessary. Thanks again for the advice. No matter what happens with me and this girl, her dances were the most sensual I have ever had in a club. She really got into it and seemed to enjoy it. From reading some of the reviews for the club, other guys have experienced the same thing. She had me in lala land. Hopefully I can hook up with her OTC. Either way, I am back to Brazil in 6 months.
• chandler

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  16 years ago

  Hey, sorry your topic got hijacked. Thanks for getting us back on track to the subject of, um, Brazil, you say?
• chandler

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  16 years ago

  njscfan: As farfetched as it may seem, some strippers really are promiscuous sex maniacs who just happen to also get paid for acting like one. If your habitual move is to pay strippers for sex, it's understandable that you'd never find out about them.
• shadowcat

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  16 years ago

  Warning: Read the U.S. State Department reports about travel to Brazil. I can fly to Rio or Sau Paulo tomorrow for free. There was a time in my younger years that I would have loved to do it. Be very careful after dark. This has been verified by my co workers. I settled for Acapulco. No longer the darling of Mexico. Been replaced by Cancun. But it is a rip off for tourists. Best bet for sex in this hemisphere is Costa Rica. I may do that soon, if some of my favorite strippers fail to take care of me.
• Orebell

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  16 years ago

  Hey Shadow, I was just in Rio in June 2007. I doubt much has changed since then. I am not sure what you are concerned about. Is it the crime? If so, yeah it is there and the stats prove it. I am not saying it cannot happen to me or anyone, but I say be smart. I stayed in a heavily populated area and in the day time, I stayed on major streets and did not venture too far on foot. At night, it was a taxi everywhere and the taxi was right outside the hotel. When I was out in the day time, I kept minimal valuables on me. Hid my money in a pocket hidden pocket in my shorts and kept a little in my pocket in case I got hijacked that they could have. No jewelry, no camera taken with me. I think the key thing is be aware of your surroundings and do not get drunk while out in public. Also, do as best as one can to blend in. No fancy clothes or anything like that. I never felt threatened at all. Lots of guys go down there and never have a problem. The key is planning, planning and planning. Or were you talking about Yellow Fever? If so, not much I can really say about that. I do not think it is that prevalent. As far as Costa Rica, I agree that it does get high marks. But Rio is tops. It was a blast.
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  I agree with chandler that there are strippers who really are nymphos and would fuck pretty much anyone just for fun. Heck, maybe even SOME customers once it becomes clear they couldn't get any money from them for it. I've never done it myself, but from the stories they tell I am sure it happens. Still I bet only 0.5% of customers are going to have a shot at that even with the sleaziest of nympho dancers. In any case a similar 99.5% of guys who claim to fuck strippers left, right, and center are just lying. The typical dancer has ZERO attraction for the typical customer. And him acting like a nice, little, whipped ATM (typical customer MO) will just make it worse. A few guys in the world can pretty much fuck any woman they want. They also, obviously, will have no problem with strippers. But such guys will usually go for higher quality than strip clubs have to offer, unless they are really fucked up themselves. IME I don't think trust is the key to OTC. I think it's more of a case of establishing that you won't settle less, and she isn't going to be able to milk you with her games like she does the others. Basically she has to know it's the only way she is getting money out of you, and, if not her, you will find an other.
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  I think it's bad advice to say you need to spend alot of time building up trust with a stripper before she will fuck you OTC. Most (maybe 80%) will know the first time they meet you whether they are interested or not. Then most (80%) of the remainder by the second time. Then the rest by the third time. After that they are definitely just playing games with you. I think putting out the message that it takes a long time to build up that trust, is what strippers would like customers to think when they know they will never deliver. By putting out that message guys are just being set up to be strung along and get nothing in the end.
• njscfan

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  16 years ago

  Bobby: I am certainly not urging anyone to be strung along. I am simply reporting a fact: my OTC experiences have almost always (perhaps always) occurred after more than one visit to the club. It does not take months, but it does take 2 or 3 visits so that the girl can ask me questions about myself, verify who I am, and feel comfortable with me. Escorts check out customers too, although their methodology is different. But the motive is the same: safety. Strippers and escorts who see guys in hotels, etc., run the risk of being robbed, beaten, killed. Whenever I have talked to them about safety issues, they have always had stories to report of being threatened or robbed. By contrast, when I have had sex with strippers ITC, it has almost always happened on the first visit, and usually within 10 minutes of meeting the girl. The only explanation for the difference that makes sense to me, is that ITC they do not have the same safety concerns, for obvious reasons. I want to emphasize that I don't think this has anything to do with whether the girl "likes" you or not. It's just a question of whether she feels physically safe from harm when she is with you. Girls who have had sex with me OTC have (without prompting) emphasized that they felt they could trust me. So, respectfully, I disagree with you. I am not urging guys to be strung along. I am urging them to recognize that the girls have legitimate safety concerns, and that they should acknowledge and attempt to alleviate those concerns. Once a girl trusts that you won't slit her throat (and, of course, assuming she's willing to sell sex in the first place), she will meet you OTC for sex. Most girls won't have that comfort level on the first meeting, at least not in my experience. If you claim that 80% of the time you are meeting a girl ITC for the very first time, and she is agreeing to meet you in a hotel for sex right on the occasion of that very first meeting, then all I can say is that your experience is vastly different than mine. I would be curious to know how many times in the last 12 months you actually met a stripper and had sex with her OTC on the occasion of that very first meeting. If it is an extremely small number, then I do not think you have much data on which to base a conclusion that 80% of the women will have OTC sex on only one meeting.
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  I don't mean that 80% of the girls I ask will do OTC the first time they meet me, or even that 80% of the ones I ultimately will do OTC with will do it after our first meeting. I mean 80% of the time they know they will that's where it's heading the first time b/c I'll innocently ask the very first time I meet them and get their number. For, whatever reason (I don't even know exactly why) even if they say "yes" I wait till the second or, rarely, third time to pull the trigger. (I guess I am worried they might chicken out if I try to make it happen after the very first time, whereas if it's the second time they have had some time to think about it so are less likely to "get cold feet".) Ok, so numbers. Out of five: one was after the first time, two were after the 2nd time, 1 after the third time, and the other was too complicated to put a number on.
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  Think more about, I also like to wait a bit myself even if she has my number after our first meeting. Just to see if she will go all psycho and start calling me all the time. Happened once. I didn't end up seeing her.
• njscfan

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  16 years ago

  Bobby: it does not appear that we have a disagreement here.
• njscfan

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  16 years ago

  Bobby: You,re right, stripping and other sex work is different than other kinds of work. Whether it is inherently more degrading than ALL other forms of work is debatable. In my personal experience, I have performed various forms of low level, unskilled manual labor that is arguably more unpleasant than being a stripper. But I admit I cannot make a comparison because I have never been a stripper. But that whole debate is irrelevant, respectfully, to the point I was making, which is only that sex work is a job. So the relationship with the customer is a commercial or business or customer relationship, not a "friendshp". I hope you don't disagree with that.
• BobbyI

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  16 years ago

  Yes, I agree with that. However, I think it's even worse with strippers than other professions. For example your doctor is not going to feel contempt for you for walking in the door to get your annual check-up. But there is a good chance (though not certain) that a stripper will hate you for the mere fact that you are in a strip club at all. Also, as far as I know, the medical culture does not breed generic contempt for its customers, or, even if some whack job is going to jump into this thread and say it does, it's not even 1/100th as bad as strippers.
• njscfan

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  16 years ago

  I think this is the art of being a happy strip club patron. Finding the strippers who are going to show you a good time (however you define that; you and I define it relatively similarly), but who are not filled with contempt for what they do. Whether that kind of stripper comprises a large or small percentage of the population, I don't know, but I do know they exist and can be found.
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  I guess im nuts then. I dont feel contempt about my job at all. Why should i base my self worth on peoples perception of me?
• shadowcat

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  16 years ago

  Want to meet strippers OTC? Go to the local Waffle House.
• Book Guy

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  16 years ago

  Indeed. In New Orleans it's one of the clubs off Bourbon Street that also has a grill. Up Conti between Bourbon and Dauphine is one good choice, I've noticed.
• magicrat

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  16 years ago

  I live a sheltered strip club existence in the southeast, so I've only had 3 otc experiences, all the first and only night I ever met them. The first 2 did not charge, and the sex was just so-so at best. The last one charged and it was a great experience. I have had several itc's in the last couple years so I agree the dancers feel a lot safer there. Not sure how to explain the first encounter otc's other that right time right place.
• wondergrl5

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  16 years ago

  never went to waffle house again im weird