Somebody waves a wand and …

Take advantage of the all expenses are covered benefit and travel internationally. But I'd select areas where the clubs are great and it is safe to find recreation around the clubs. For example, I'd leave Hong Kong (in Tijuana) off the list because the area around the club offers few safe recreation opportunities, to my knowledge. So, I'd include one or two of the FKK clubs in Germany or Australia. I'd also include one or two stops in Thailand and maybe a stop in South America.

I'd probably go national parks if I have to pick just one.

I'm in south Florida; beach town and mongering destination are kinda our thing here so that makes those options a bit redundant. I love a good burger, but they aren't really worth traveling for. I can grab a solid burger at a couple of nearby places or honestly make my own. I wouldn't be upset checking out museums or distilleries, but I'd have a hard time finding 5 of those I really wanted to check out. If I could mix n match, I'd probably do one or two each of the parks, museums, and distilleries. Or maybe even throw in an international mongering destination, maybe a place with interesting food options to check off that box too.

Probably hit the national parks especially the ones out west, really don't have much interest in visiting strip clubs out of my local areas, but maybe as a way to spend an evening alone which ever one is closest to park I'm visiting. International travel is also interesting to me, again I'd probably hit a club close to where I am traveling to.

As expenses are covered I would straight up pick TUSCL mongering destinations and go there. Living between Miami and Tampa, I would leave those off the list and go to RI, COI, Detroit, Dallas, and Vegas (although I kinda hate Vegas, but I've never been to a club there).

No strip clubs anywhere near good national parks.

What Ski said re: national parks. Since mongering is apparently intended to be an element of this hypothetical, I'd go with beach towns and pick places where there's at least one club highly reviewed on TUSCL.

What I usually do, unless there is concert or sporting event, I usually try to see what I clubs I want to hit then build the trip out from there. And I'll find out what to do in the daytime around that before I check out the sc's at night. Where to eat (I like to check reddit for that to see what the locals are saying, I usually go for necessarily the best, I like eating old school and sometimes the two are the same)

Well, it’s spring, if you’re into baseball why not hit up the best ballparks in the country which all have stripclubs nearby, heck several are probably in walking distance from the ballparks.

And there are definitely strip clubs near national parks. At least with what I'm comfortable driving with although which granted is probably on the extreme end of humanity. Most NP's are out west. Montana, Idaho, Colorado, Wyoming, California, Arizona, Washington, Oregon, there's clubs out that way. For those wondering just use the map feature on here if you got VIP. It might be just one club though out there on it's own like in Grand Junction or Billings or Pocatello or Missoula etc.

Shai I used to definitely do that big time in places where you could just walk it 2 seconds to them like Pittsburgh, Toronto, Cleveland, San Francisco, Seattle all come to mind. And there's a lot of minor league baseball cities too where it's the same deal.

WTF? I would bet the farm there are no decent strip clubs within an hour’s drive of any major national park.

@Studme53 I m sure if all expenses were covered you could find a good time in most any club

You cannot find a good time in any club in: Orlando, Chicago, Fort Myers, the Keys, Utah, DC. Where else?

There are great national parks near great clubs: Everglades near Miami, American Revolution War Memorials near Rhode Island and Boston, national forests and lakeshores near Detroit (I'm counting everything managed by the National Parks Service), Waco Mammoth National Monument (~100 miles) near Dallas, many around Las Vegas and COI.

Everglades and Biscayne are within an hour of 5 clubs in the top 40, give or take a few minutes for traffic. They are the top most popular parks, but they probably get 500-750k visitors each per year. And if you set the strip club bar at just decent, there are tons of clubs nearby.

I won't count Key West, but it's close. You can't drive it but the Tortugas are about a 45 minute trip on a seaplane and another 10 minutes from the dock to Duval Street where the clubs are. Some of those are decent, maybe just barely by south FL standards, but they're better than a lot of other places.

Also, I just realized the magnitude of the "all expenses covered" clause. It this hand waiving fairy is paying my way with the strippers, that totally changes things. I'll fuckin pay my own way to go see the national parks and museums, that's peanuts. Give me the all expenses paid at the strip club package!

^What I'm saying

I'm not sure if it's allowed under the rules of this thread, but I'd go to Germany if $ was not an issue. Compared to other options, it's much safer, and much easier to find a situation where the sex worker sees the work as a great opportunity, not a choice made out of desperation. And lots of great non-sex tourism things to do.

I need an option 7 - go to smaller cities with superb culinary scenes, fun Irish pubs and some interesting unique history to explore while also visiting nearby clubs. None of the other options appeal to me because:

Go to national parks and pick whatever clubs are closest to there? There are generally no strip clubs close to the good national parks, which are usually in very remote areas.

Go to famous cheeseburger restaurants and choose the clubs closest to there? How many cheeseburgers can someone eat before getting bored?

Pick five different beach towns and pick clubs around there? How many beaches can one visit before getting bored? Besides, way too many clubs near beach destinations are tourist traps.

Pick famous distilleries and pick clubs around there? I think I'd be bored after the second distillery. Brewing alcohol is hardly rocket science.

Pick cool museums related to a favorite subject and pick clubs around there? Most of the best museums are in very large cities with the shittiest strip clubs.

Straight up pick “tuscl mongering destination” places and the clubs are the attraction? I could never imagine getting on a plane to visit any area just to club. At least not anymore, lol.

The options were meant to be open ended. I should have specified that.

Culinary scenes, niche history, etc are perfectly good other examples as well. Heck, one could even choose something randomly expensive like going to the moon or something. I didn’t mean to give the impression my examples were the only options.

I guess I just wanted to see whether people would choose the funds for pure mongering or something else with mongering as an afterthought. This is what I get for posting this thread while drinking, lol

I do purposeful travel but definitely take advantage of weaving clubbing into my itineraries whenever convenient. Often, I will treat myself to binge mongering after accomplishing my primary objectives.

Mostly, my clubbing is based on business travel and is a secondary activity. On occasions where I plan travel for clubbing, the scene itself is the paramount consideration.

I love the idea of a strip club combined with a Natural Park destination, but until someone figures out how to open a strip club in Lake Tahoe or Jackson, WY, that’s not really an option.

(Sorry @dolfan, the Everglades is not high on my list of parks to visit lol.)