Hypothetical Ocean Rescue

Good question Libby Ape (or whatever the fuck your name is).

I have a truly rickish solution. Imma radio ricktheshark and ask him to get his shark buddies to help get all three of the females to shore. That frees me up to fly around ‘til I find one of the weirdos that likes to post political shit on TUSCL. Since the politics-posting weirdos are losers that have never been on a boat they will be on dry land. So I’ll buzz ‘em in my rick plane and scare ‘em enough that they’ll lose bladder control.

At the end of the day we’ll have three happy strippers ashore (unless one of the shark rescuers was hungry, but what’s the chance of that?), a politics postin’ weirdo will have ruined his trousers, and this rick will be at the club enjoying a delightful glass o’ Jack. Winning! ROAR!!!

@rtl so your shark buddy has a radio permanently strapped to him? I guess sharks are way to butch to worry about radio strap chafing. Or, do sharks get the radio chip implant from Bill Gates, instead of the COVID-causing chip that damn dirty apes get?

I assume that, right next to the drop-down jack dispenser deploy button, a rick plan dashboard has three landing gear deploy buttons. One for wheels, one for skis, and one for pontoons. So, it's not allowed under the contest rules.

Also, I've heard that skibum's favorite OTC is getting an HJ at the end of an airport runway, and nutting right when a plane that's taking off is directly overhead. So, your buzzing plan may backfire.

@Icey I didn't want to go with tied-up stripper on either side of a railroad switch. Talk of tied-up strippers make attract SJG back to TUSCL.

They'd be pushed to the nearest coastal Olive Garden by a dolphin they swore they were single to and promised to date.

Now now Libby Ape.

While this rick does not believe in the no-win scenario (at least for ricks) he is certainly willing to play along and assume that deploying pontoons on the plane is verboten. Besides, pontoons interfere with the disco ball I often deploy under the rickwing. Damn dirty apes see it an think the plane is a frickin’ UFO!

Anyhoo, I’m just amazed that the part that strains your credulity is the shark getting chafed from the radio. I mean really…it is far more plausible that the shark is unavailable because he is swimming around in an alcoholic haze or stuck in a hotel bathtub participating in a rickbang.

However, this rick has the potential shark unavailability issue covered. I’ll also radio rickthebarnacle and rickthecoconutcrab. At least one of those crustaceans will be able to rally the denizens of the deep to rescue the damsels in distress. After all, rickthebarnacle is so widely respected he is like the frickin’ King of Atlantis. Or maybe he’s King of Albania. Or King of the Ocean Disco. It came up on our last all ricks zoom meeting but I was drinkin’ my Jack and in a bit of an alcoholic fog so I’m not sure. ROAR!!!