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Pattaya Revisited

My first trip to Pattaya, Thailand, was in March, and I have returned already. What brings me to this tropical land? The polite Thai people? The spicy Thai food? The polite and spicy Thai bar girls? You be the judge.

I had been traveling in East Africa, doing the Hemingway thing but without murdering the animals. My adventures, however, did not provide any female companionship. Then I discovered you can fly from Addis Ababa to Bangkok for under $500. Giddy up!

The best thing about Pattaya is the sheer number of girls. The city has 25,000 to 30,000 sex workers. Not all of them girls, of course, but most are. Every night you will see not just one girl but hundreds of girls you would be willing to die for (or at least to spend a ton of money on).

Single white men crowd the red light areas, mostly middle-aged dorks and broken-down grandpas. Now I realize I'm no Bradley Cooper or Zac Efron. I'm not even Paul Giamatti. But I claim I look pretty good next to some of these specimens on the streets and in the bars.

Pattaya has 3 main areas for female entertainment: Walking Street, Soi 6 and Soi LK Metro. "Soi" is Thai for a smaller street that runs off a main street. "Soi" is sometimes translated into English as "alley", but this is not really correct. A soi can be a large and busy street.

You can see Soi 6 in many YouTube videos. Soi 6 runs between Beach Road and Second Road. It is filled with bars and bar girls, and the girls stand outside and try to pull you in. They will grab you and tug you and physically assault you. They do not believe that no means no. The girls, I understand, get a commission for every guy they bring in. The bars are not go-go bars with dancing girls. Instead they are places you can drink and buy drinks for girls and feel up the girl you are with. Most have rooms in the back for more intimate activities.

I did not like the Soi 6 experience as much as the go-go bars in other areas. In Soi 6, if a girl latches onto you, you will find it hard to get away from her. You don't get to sit and judge which girl you like the best. The best move is to spot a girl you like outside and select her before a dozen others grab you. I took only 1 Soi 6 girl back to my hotel.

Soi LK Metro is an L-shaped street with many go-go bars where you can have a beer and watch the dancers. One evening I tried 5 or 6 bars, having a required beer or two at each bar and getting myself hammered. I think I visited Lady Love, Kink, Queen, Slutz, Showgirls, Crystal, and Sugar Sugar. LK Metro is cheaper than Walking Street in terms of drinks and bar fines and girls. But I was a little disappointed in the quality of the dancers. I took only 1 girl from an LK Metro club back to my hotel.

Walking Street consists of a few blocks of Beach Road that are blocked off from traffic at night. The real action begins after 8PM and goes well past 2AM. People of all kinds flood the street, and you will be approached by free-lance whores, pimps, ladyboys, beggars, and perverts. It is a fun festival. The go-go bars range from small ones with a dozen dancers to large ones with over a hundred dancers. You can enjoy the show for the price of a beer. None of the bars has a cover charge. My favorites go-gos are XS, Pin Up and Baccara. I have taken 1 or 2 girls every night from these clubs.

The big go-go bars are the most expensive for drinks, lady drinks, bar fines, and girls. But I feel these places are worth it. I did not travel half-way round the world to pinch pennies.