Strippers Being Called Hustlers Make Me Uncomfortable

I’ve been poking around online and I’ve noticed a troubling trend. There’s basically an attempt to deny stripping and even sugaring or doing porn is about what’s it’s actually about. That’s it’s more how you handle yourself and learn how to play men than the fact your good looking and willing. I see it on social media all the time now. “She’s not a sex worker she’s a entertainer. It’s not her looks and availability. It’s her confidence and verbal judo. She not selling a service she’s empowering herself.” Club owners, other dancers and even the general public can play into this kind of talk. And it is flat out nonsense, misleading, and probably/possibly predatory. I need to be careful with what I say here. I like strippers. I don’t begrudge them there job and I hope they don’t resent me cutting a check for action. But there is rhetoric online that unnerves me. Any narrative that could lead a person into a situation uninformed worries me. And if it involves something as life altering and possibly hazardous as adult work then it really worries me. I’ll say flat out, strippers aren’t hustlers. Hustlers sell a product in a competitive field in ways that require people skills, insight into the market and creativity. All dancers have to do is show up and be gorgeous and accessible. Do I like strippers who act sweet? Yes. Does not being that way actually effect a dancers bank? Not in a major way that I’ve seen if they’re hot and/or nasty enough. So let’s stop with any pretense the most popular dancers are popular because they can work a room. I’m not trying to trash the average dancers personality but that’s the point: most dancers are average personalities. They live on sex appeal and access. To deny this creeps me out. For me, this is about informed consent. I don’t want to be a manipulator. The reason I got to strip clubs is so I don’t have to manipulate: give me action, I’ll give you money. As consenting adults, that agreement is completely fair. And I don’t mean informed consent in the SJW, call-out-the-moves way but in a more grounded ethnical sense. I want a dancer I spend money on to know what they are actually doing there. Once I get the vibe a dancer thinks your her regular because she pretends to think your a hunky Superman and not because she keeps her weight down and never cheats you in VIP, I get squeamish. I get the overwhelming since she’s been manipulated. It kind of reminds me of drug dealers who think (or pretend to think) they’re businessmen when they engage young kids. Is there an entrepreneurial aspect to dope dealing? Yes. Is that entrepreneurial skill the reason they make money? It’s probably not even 15 percent of the reason. I don’t believe that more than 15 percent of what dancers make is because they can talk nice and play mind games with tricks. They make money because they’re hot and ready. For a dancer to say she makes money or to tell a chick she can make money because she can sell is like a mobster telling a recruit he can make money because he’s got a head for finance. It’s fundamentally dishonest. Dancers who don’t deal with the reality of there trade in a frank way strike me as having been trafficked or as traffickers. It just screams an ugly kind of manipulation. They’re is also the chance they are not in touch with reality. I’m sure the latter is probably half of it. People tell themselves all kinds of lies to get through the day (for example I tell myself I’m a hunky Superman). But if you come in being told dancing or other kinds of pay to play action isn’t just that, I just think it’s hard to see that as being on the up and up. If it’s all about sales skills then show me the 50 year old dancer that doesn’t look like Brandi Love still making bank doing the same things she did when she was 19. If you can’t then people ought to just stop this lie. Club owners, other dancers, and the public should stop it. It’s unfair in my opinion and it’s about time we stop the PC crap (at best) or quasi legal pimping (most likely) and get to some real talk. Current strippers and clubs owners if asked for advice should be honest. This isn’t for PLs to do. It’s not like I can ask a dancer this, getting into why a stripper does the job is the second dumbest comment a PL can make, only “you look like my daughter” is worse. To act like you’ll be the same or be seen the same once dancing is over is just not true. No matter what you’ll have to deal with the fact you were a dancer. Veteran strippers are often jaded: they hate women, men, club owners, republicans, feminists, the DJ, baby strippers, the security and often themselves. Jobs that largely involve your grind and skills as a communicator don’t produce this kind of resentment as a normal result. I can’t count on one hand the amount of ex strippers before 2010 that recommend it. They might not judge it, but they’ll almost all say if you can do anything else to save your life, please do. Now to do anything other than affirm someone’s choice to do sex work and swear it’s all about how you grind and not how you, uh, grind, makes you some kind of resentful hater and that’s crazy. I’m not saying you (or me as a true blue square PL) should be ashamed. Again that’s not the point, don’t be one of these weirdo “you can do better baby” strip clubs Romeos. What I am saying however you will be shamed! Up and coming dancers should know this. Having been a dancer or other kind of sex worker will either have to be a secret or/and it will effect you dating life and future prospects. And the internet has really changed sex work. To get into dancing or other adult work is literally a publicly available decision that anyone can find out about. One post on USASexGuide, one person finding a post 20 years after your done dancing that you made on Facebook, or one pic posted to an IG story that has you in the background will follow you until you pass away. I’m serious. It’s harder to keep this a secret than it was pre social media. The war to keep phones off the floor have been fought and lost. Your one hater or creeps snap away from exposure. You should know this baby strippers! Will it be empowering once it’s viral? Look at how many people have been fired for having an OnlyFans. Don’t kid yourself. I get part of this is how the world works. It’s easier to call yourself a hustler than to admit you aren’t cut out for a 9-5, have no other way to make big money, are just turned on by money to the point you’ll do a lot for it or have no other way to escape some crazy shit. Even as a stripper it’s hard to admit that. But I’m not talking about the dancer. I’m talking about the industry and maybe more importantly elements of the public. To tell dancers they are some kind of slick talking enchantresses is setting them up for violation and it’s really should stop. It’s honestly gross. Someone please tell it like it is.