Strippers Being Called Hustlers Make Me Uncomfortable

Wednesday, April 10, 2024 8:28 PM
I’ve been poking around online and I’ve noticed a troubling trend. There’s basically an attempt to deny stripping and even sugaring or doing porn is about what’s it’s actually about. That’s it’s more how you handle yourself and learn how to play men than the fact your good looking and willing. I see it on social media all the time now. “She’s not a sex worker she’s a entertainer. It’s not her looks and availability. It’s her confidence and verbal judo. She not selling a service she’s empowering herself.” Club owners, other dancers and even the general public can play into this kind of talk. And it is flat out nonsense, misleading, and probably/possibly predatory. I need to be careful with what I say here. I like strippers. I don’t begrudge them there job and I hope they don’t resent me cutting a check for action. But there is rhetoric online that unnerves me. Any narrative that could lead a person into a situation uninformed worries me. And if it involves something as life altering and possibly hazardous as adult work then it really worries me. I’ll say flat out, strippers aren’t hustlers. Hustlers sell a product in a competitive field in ways that require people skills, insight into the market and creativity. All dancers have to do is show up and be gorgeous and accessible. Do I like strippers who act sweet? Yes. Does not being that way actually effect a dancers bank? Not in a major way that I’ve seen if they’re hot and/or nasty enough. So let’s stop with any pretense the most popular dancers are popular because they can work a room. I’m not trying to trash the average dancers personality but that’s the point: most dancers are average personalities. They live on sex appeal and access. To deny this creeps me out. For me, this is about informed consent. I don’t want to be a manipulator. The reason I got to strip clubs is so I don’t have to manipulate: give me action, I’ll give you money. As consenting adults, that agreement is completely fair. And I don’t mean informed consent in the SJW, call-out-the-moves way but in a more grounded ethnical sense. I want a dancer I spend money on to know what they are actually doing there. Once I get the vibe a dancer thinks your her regular because she pretends to think your a hunky Superman and not because she keeps her weight down and never cheats you in VIP, I get squeamish. I get the overwhelming since she’s been manipulated. It kind of reminds me of drug dealers who think (or pretend to think) they’re businessmen when they engage young kids. Is there an entrepreneurial aspect to dope dealing? Yes. Is that entrepreneurial skill the reason they make money? It’s probably not even 15 percent of the reason. I don’t believe that more than 15 percent of what dancers make is because they can talk nice and play mind games with tricks. They make money because they’re hot and ready. For a dancer to say she makes money or to tell a chick she can make money because she can sell is like a mobster telling a recruit he can make money because he’s got a head for finance. It’s fundamentally dishonest. Dancers who don’t deal with the reality of there trade in a frank way strike me as having been trafficked or as traffickers. It just screams an ugly kind of manipulation. They’re is also the chance they are not in touch with reality. I’m sure the latter is probably half of it. People tell themselves all kinds of lies to get through the day (for example I tell myself I’m a hunky Superman). But if you come in being told dancing or other kinds of pay to play action isn’t just that, I just think it’s hard to see that as being on the up and up. If it’s all about sales skills then show me the 50 year old dancer that doesn’t look like Brandi Love still making bank doing the same things she did when she was 19. If you can’t then people ought to just stop this lie. Club owners, other dancers, and the public should stop it. It’s unfair in my opinion and it’s about time we stop the PC crap (at best) or quasi legal pimping (most likely) and get to some real talk. Current strippers and clubs owners if asked for advice should be honest. This isn’t for PLs to do. It’s not like I can ask a dancer this, getting into why a stripper does the job is the second dumbest comment a PL can make, only “you look like my daughter” is worse. To act like you’ll be the same or be seen the same once dancing is over is just not true. No matter what you’ll have to deal with the fact you were a dancer. Veteran strippers are often jaded: they hate women, men, club owners, republicans, feminists, the DJ, baby strippers, the security and often themselves. Jobs that largely involve your grind and skills as a communicator don’t produce this kind of resentment as a normal result. I can’t count on one hand the amount of ex strippers before 2010 that recommend it. They might not judge it, but they’ll almost all say if you can do anything else to save your life, please do. Now to do anything other than affirm someone’s choice to do sex work and swear it’s all about how you grind and not how you, uh, grind, makes you some kind of resentful hater and that’s crazy. I’m not saying you (or me as a true blue square PL) should be ashamed. Again that’s not the point, don’t be one of these weirdo “you can do better baby” strip clubs Romeos. What I am saying however you will be shamed! Up and coming dancers should know this. Having been a dancer or other kind of sex worker will either have to be a secret or/and it will effect you dating life and future prospects. And the internet has really changed sex work. To get into dancing or other adult work is literally a publicly available decision that anyone can find out about. One post on USASexGuide, one person finding a post 20 years after your done dancing that you made on Facebook, or one pic posted to an IG story that has you in the background will follow you until you pass away. I’m serious. It’s harder to keep this a secret than it was pre social media. The war to keep phones off the floor have been fought and lost. Your one hater or creeps snap away from exposure. You should know this baby strippers! Will it be empowering once it’s viral? Look at how many people have been fired for having an OnlyFans. Don’t kid yourself. I get part of this is how the world works. It’s easier to call yourself a hustler than to admit you aren’t cut out for a 9-5, have no other way to make big money, are just turned on by money to the point you’ll do a lot for it or have no other way to escape some crazy shit. Even as a stripper it’s hard to admit that. But I’m not talking about the dancer. I’m talking about the industry and maybe more importantly elements of the public. To tell dancers they are some kind of slick talking enchantresses is setting them up for violation and it’s really should stop. It’s honestly gross. Someone please tell it like it is.

27 comments

It's all definitions. I thought sex worker referred to anyone who used their sexuality to make a living, stripper, escort, anything beyond a Hooter's girl (and I've even heard that used to refer to them). Hustler? I've seen salespeople or anyone who has to eat what they kill call themselves that. Usually it comes from pimps, drug dealers, and others who have to scramble for peanuts. You work with whatever assets you have, entire brains, social skills, or tits. It doesn't equal successful though. When they're successful, they're called entrepreneurs.
PuddyTat69
a month ago
You’re a weird dude.
Hank Moody
a month ago
^ Fair point
IWantHerOnMe
a month ago
I'll be honest I just don't feel like reading all that. Try to be as brief as you can. But in response to first few sentences, it just means we gotta up our game.
Muddy
a month ago
American women are like that they want the glory without putting in the work. I don’t get the big deal about sex. People on other countries have sex like it’s drinking water but mention sex to American woman it’s all hell.
Mr Monger
a month ago
I tried to make this an article but the board said no. It is kinda long.
IWantHerOnMe
a month ago
Full disclosure - I didn’t read the whole post - you jumped the shark after 2 paragraphs. What I will say is in my experience, dancers are more like the strippers in those “Stripper Experience” fake porn videos than the dancers in mainstream movies like Striptease or Showgirls (although that had some pretty accurate scenes).
Studme53
a month ago
Yeah, I'm just thankful there's no such thing as customers aggressively deluding themselves about what they do in strip clubs. Phew... Thank God we all collectively dodged that bullet!
Call.Me.Ishmael
a month ago
Fucking mental diarrhea. Quit philosophizing paying for sexual gratification
PoundKing
a month ago
Talk about overthinking something so simple. I also disagree that selling drugs is not a good way to learn how to run a business. I still use the same cut costs, provide value, not all money spends the same philosophy in my practice that I used selling weed in the 70s.
skibum609
a month ago
“Hustle” is such an ambiguous word. Sometimes people use that word to describe scamming or grifting others. Sometimes people use that word to describe being willing to work long hours. And then some people use that word for goofy stuff like this: [view link]
nicespice
a month ago
I go to strip clubs to enjoy the scintillating conversation and the opportunity to experience some fine cuisine. The fact there are attractive young women walking around in their underwear who sit on my lap and dance is just a distraction. Sometimes they accidently put their hand on my crotch and boobs in my face. I tolerate this behavior and tip them quite well because I don't want to be rude.
WiseToo
a month ago
Dang I wonder if nicespice is a closet ABBA fan too. The strippers IWant speaks of are quantum entangled with the customers who can get anal from any stripper for $37.50 because they know how to negotiate. Or, actually, they are probably both alternate personas of guys killing time while sitting in ICBM silos, waiting for the orders to launch.
ilbbaicnl
a month ago
That was a lot of fucking thinking man. But, you do you. I approach it as a business transaction: I pay money to be convinced that a dancer is into me. That's it, I pay for the fantasy. The more convincing she is, the longer/more I spend. I don't even need extras.....I'm looking to be convinced. I'll even state it at the end of the fantasy how convincing she was during "pretend" time.
jaybud999
a month ago
I like dancers who are sweet and sincere. If they can fake that, they've got it made.
jackslash
a month ago
“Dang I wonder if nicespice is a closet ABBA fan too.” Man, I hope so. These chicks were soooo freakin hot. No tats. No piercings. No fake implants of any kind. [view link]
motorhead
a month ago
@IWantHerOnMe I will play along and comment on your discussion. You wrote and I quote: “Strippers Being Called Hustlers Make Me Uncomfortable” People’s minds are complex, sometimes discomfort can be a result of unresolved emotions from the past being triggered in the present Suppressed emotions and traumas from the past surface when triggered by present events and cause a unique sense of discomfort.  Discomfort is often a symptom of an underlying mental health issue, and it is important to consult a medical professional to find the right treatment. You also wrote, perhaps projecting (a psychological phenomenon where feelings directed towards the self are displaced towards other people) and maybe aware of it. “is also the chance they are not in touch with reality. I’m sure the latter is probably half of it. People tell themselves all kinds of lies to get through the day (for example I tell myself I’m a hunky Superman).” In conclusion get professional help if you want to. No two people's experiences with strippers are the same. Everyone has their own different experiences with strippers. We all should be accountable for our own unique experiences with strippers. Let’s be careful out there. And remember Pics and Vids or it didn’t happen. :D
CJKent_band
a month ago
My head hurts.
Jascoi
a month ago
What? All that is way do deep for me. How bout a nice thread on the Best pants to LDK in? Maybe include some scientific data on percentage of leakage per hour
elmer
a month ago
You have to remember when you enter a strip club you are paying for a fantasy. It is a business transaction. It’s entertainment, just like going to a movie or concert. Most of the women in there would not talk to you if they didn’t need money, just like I wouldn’t talk to 90% of my customers if I didn’t need money either.
shailynn
a month ago
If you think getting strangers to hand you over their hard earned cash with a little attention and fake intimacy isn't a hustle, then you've been successfully hustled 😂
PAWG_Patrol
a month ago
Abba won Eurovision.
skibum609
a month ago
I hide my true feelings about others at work. Does that make me a hustler?
ilbbaicnl
a month ago
^ depends on what work is. Are you selling something or offering a service? Is so then yes, you can be a hustler. If you work at the water company and don’t like Debbie in billing but you’re still nice to her that doesn’t make you a hustler.
shailynn
a month ago
"All dancers have to do is show up and be gorgeous and accessible." Is this what you really think? I skipped most of what you wrote after I spotted this, but wondered...
wallanon
a month ago
Who cares about all of the semantics and why she does/doesn’t do what she does for money. I could care less about why she does it, how she does it and the overall psychology behind her doing it. It’s of no concern to me. As long as she’s not being forced to do it, and as long as she provides what I need, then she can envision herself as Eleanor fuckin Roosevelt for all I care. Life is short, just crack open your wallet and have fun. You don’t regret the things you did in life, it’s the shit you didn’t do said many wise men on their death beds.
SquareCastle
a month ago
My only question for a stripper is "Spit or Swallow ?". And even that answer, I really don't care about. As long as her teeth are not hitting little ET and her head is bobbing, then we will reach our purpose in being there shortly !!!@
etsutwigg222
a month ago
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