Hotel Horror Stories, Recs, Wishlists
Muddy
USA
Bad. I'll tell you the exact ones.
Days Inn in South Boston Virgina. I was passing through VA down on the way to Charlotte. This was the PROJECTS. It was so go damn ghetto with all these crackheads running road. My door was broke, I had to be walked to my room, every time to get in by the bob marley looking dude. I said fuck all this give me a refund and went a slept soundly at the next rest stop.
Budget in Sanford Florida. Right outside Orlando. Some days you just want a fucking shower. I took this spot didn't realize how ghetto it was. As I'm getting out the shower I hear gunshots right outside my door. And then I hear "You fucking idiot!" out in the distance. I get changed look outside and there's a bunch of cop cars. I got the fuck out of there. (I didn't expect a refund on this one, but actually checked my credit card statement the whole thing got refunded back to me)
Some Red Roof in just outside Detroit. You know what it just had this scent of a cleaner of some sort in the room that I couldn't deal with. I just couldn't. Massive headache. I got the fuck out of there, money wasted but vowed never to stay at a red roof inn again.
The above is what you get for trying to save money. But on the other hand I'm not dropping $150 (or more) on a hotel unless I got some crazy good OTC lined up.
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El Camino Inn in San Francisco. San Fran hotels can be pricey (although maybe not right now) but this one was far enough from downtown, and away from a lot of the nonsense and I saw they filmed the Will Smith movie the pursuit of happiness had a couple scenes here. I stayed it was pretty. Car was not broken into. It ain't upscale or anything.
Queens Hotel on Queens Blvd you guessed it in Queens. Favorite OTC spot in NYC. Anyway only $50 for 3 hours. And then $50 deposit which you get right back when your done. It is really nice upscale place for an OTC spot. Just incredible value there.
Bogart Hotel in Brooklyn- Same thing as above, real nice for an OTC spot by the hour. 2 or 3 hours is like 50. Ain't bad. Full recommendation if in Brooklyn. Used be hoodrat part of brooklyn but that part is hipster brooklyn.
I saw the Marriot Marquis Hotel in Atlanta in the movie Manhunter and it's been in other movies as well. https://s3.amazonaws.com/downloads.cvent… It looks pretty cool though I fully intend to stay at this place just one night next time I'm in Atlanta.
20 minutes later red & blue lights flashing in window, so I look out to see 3 butt ass naked hookers on their knees giving blowjobs to guys outside the fence. lights & moaning next door quit around 3 am. I was then heard a knock on my door at 330 am. It was 2 white girls, so I cracked the door open with the security lock still engaged. Blonde girl asked if I ordered take out for $100 each. I declined, then packed up & was on the road at 4 am. As I left, a hooker was behind the front desk blowing the night clerk.
I thought you were a sleep in your car in the Walmart type of guy.
I only stay in hotels or motels, run by the major chains, and every one of the places I have stayed in, that I can remember has security, if the place is in a seedy area I won't even stop
Plenty of funny experiences but nothing dangerous as you described. Funniest thing I did was at the Red Carpet Inn by the airport in Milwaukee. I was on a prolonged stay of over 2 weeks and had a room in a section that had paper thin walls. I happened to have a room next to a Popeye type snorer. The kind of snoring where the drawer and windows open and close with each breath. After a few nights I had enough and would call his room phone and wake him up and then hang up. It was funny to hear him cuss every time I did that.
Been propositioned by hookers in Vegas, been walked in by the maid while having sex because I forgot to use the secondary lock and heard plenty of sex going on in adjacent rooms. In New Orleans, my girlfriend and I had a running contest with the couple next door on who could make more noise. Plenty of laughs from both sides.
The one place I stayed at that was a disappointment was the Waldorf Astoria in NYC. For all the glamour in the lobby, the rooms were pretty bad. Best room was at the Cosmopolitan in Vegas. You hit one switch and every light in the room came on. Had a view of the Aria and all the windows it had. In the honor bar snack box, the Cosmopolitan included a pair of binoculars. My boss was propositioned by a black hooker in the lobby who used a clever line. She asked him if he had ever played human roulette. He said no, what is that. She said it's where you take me up to your room, put all of your money on black and hit the jackpot.
Second worst was a place in Alexandria that was a relic from at last the 1940s before Alexandria became gentrified. A very tiny, cramped parking lot was the first thing that gave me pause. The kicker was when I was buzzed into the office and came face to face with a 2-inch thick wall of bulletproof glass! That said, the room was clean, if worn and the old black and white TV sort of worked. Why did I stay in a shithole like that? It was cherry blossom/school trip season and this was the only room our secretary could find.
Book my own hotels when traveling for work and for work or personal I never book below a 3.5 star hotel unless I have no other choice. For reference the max is 5 star and even most large cities have nothing higher than a 4 star. Many small to midsize cities have nothing higher than 3.5 star, sometimes 3 star is the max. Priceline and Hotwire have saved me tens of thousands of dollars over the years. I’ve stayed at many great hotels and years ago sometimes I only paid $65 but those days seems to be long gone.
Of course I’ve stayed in a 4 star that shouldn’t be a 4 star or a 3 that shouldn’t be a 3 etc. When in doubt I go to trip advisor which has often helped me avoid the crappy double tree and helped me choose the nice embassy suites instead which is down the road (as an example).
Three bad ones that come to mind are once I got a flight cancelled at 10:30 at night and they put me on the next flight at 5:00am. I made them give me a nearby hotel and it was a Microtel. Place was so shitty I slept on top of the bed cover with my clothes and shoes on.
Another time I was working in a small very bad city and stayed at what I thought was an okay no-tell motel. There was a lot of noise in the parking lot at night, every time I looked out there’s be two parked cars and people talking. Didn’t think much about it. Next day when I went to the business I was dealing with they asked me where I was staying and I told them and they flipped out saying 2 people were murdered there last week and one OD’d in one of the rooms. I then realized those were probably drug deals going on in the parking lot all night.
I once passed out at the Palace Station in Vegas (bought the room at 7am) after a long night at Sapphires and my buddy who lived in Vegas said “go there it will be cheaper than a cab to my house and I’ll pick you up at noon.” I had picked up a stripper with me and we were so tired we just fell asleep.” The room was horrible but oddly enough it has this nice freshly remodeled bathroom. My buddy picked me up, we dropped the stripper off at a Wendy’s and went to a pool party (we couldn’t drop her off at her boyfriends house who she was living with). That night the stripper agreed to meet me again at the room (so I actually went back since technically I checked in the same day) but she was a no show so I spent another entire night in the same shitty room by myself waiting for her. Turns out police were scanning the parking lot license plates at Sapphires that night and were giving her a hard time since she was driving her boyfriends car who had a warrant that she claims she didn’t know about. She said she actually took a cab to the Palace Station but couldn’t ask them to call my room since she couldn’t remember my last name (which I never gave her) and the room number I had txtd her and when she went to plug in her dead cellphone into an outlet to call me security came and harassed her (probably thinking she was a hooker) she got scared and left. That story could be all bullshit but I believed her because I went back to Vegas a month later and had a long , wonderful relationship with her, and crazy stuff like that always happened to this girl - just like many other strippers we all know as well.
My favorite hotel of all time (based on the hotel itself and not its location) Henry Autograph in Detroit. Right down the road from the Flight Club.
Just a quick correction it was actually South Hill not South Boston VA for the above.
The best was The Captain Cook hotel in Anchorage Alaska. My company had made my reservation and they acknowledged it but didn't have a room available for me. So they upgraded me to a suite.
One time a couple and I checked in at the same time and were assigned rooms on the same floor. We go up in the elevator at the same time and go to our rooms and neither of our keycards worked. It wasp late 11pm and I could tell they were as exhausted as I was. They guy starts to head down to the front desk and I said “hold on, trade me keys.” Sure enough his unlocked mine and mine unlocked his.
BTW if you’re checking into a hotel after 8pm no matter the quality of the hotel the front desk attendants are almost always idiots. Night shift at a hotel is a job very few people want.
But I won't do that shit to myself anymore. I'd rather travel or - *gasp* - even club a little less if it means being comfortable. A Choice Hotel is about the lowest I'll go now, but more often than not I'm looking for something a bit better.
No more. Stay pretty much exclusively at Marriott, IHG, and Hilton properties. Enjoy the perks and higher standards. Retired a couple years ago. I'm in spend it while still healthy mode.
And I had an OTC a couple years back at a hotel in the Northeast of Philadelphia (which is probably the only good part of Philly, it's where all city workers live) I think it was the motel 6 next to the Philly skateplex. Any way even in the daytime, courtyard was completely taken over by methheads. No family should be near that, it was Kensington North. I hooked up with the girl and gtfo.