The Best of TUSCL 2007

Nice idea but there were just to many good ones to narrow it down to the best one.

The blogs are very recent, and I, of course, am biased on that topic. :) Name more than one just off the top of your head then cat.

Funniest Post (& therefore the Best) was clearly Shadowcat's reply in the topic "im 16":

>im 16 08/09/07 09:18
Posted by: Boloa
and i want to become an exotic dancer/ stripper .. how can i start? what do i have to do?

im 16 08/09/07 15:15
Posted by: shadowcat
If you are serious about this. The first thing you will need to do is get a fake ID. No strip club is going to hire an underage dancer. Get the money to pay for it by stealing from your parents or shoplifting stuff to sell to friends. Drop out of school. After all, you are not making any money there and it is boring.

Next, catch your father when he has had a little too much to drink. Kiss him passionately and then rub his dick until he comes. Then tell you mother that he raped you She will divorce him and maybe even get him thrown in jail. Because of this your mother becomes a drunk or a drug addict. This is good. You can now say you were sexually abused by your father and that you hated you mother for what she had become. Good excuses for running away. AH! But where. You have no money or friends that you can trust. Turn to the streets. Sucking cocks is not so bad. Plenty of women do it because they like their male friends. Learn to not spit. If you find a nice customer with lots of money, fuck him but do it without a condom. If you get knocked up before you apply for a strip club job. It is a Plus.

After you get a strip club job, start doing drugs. So that the other strippers will not think that you are not one of them. Gets some tats. One large one on your back. Gets some piercings. Boobs and clit and I always think that a nice bone trough the nose is nice. Save up some money quickly so that you can get your tits enhanced. All guys like big phony tits. Make friends with the biggest dyke in the club. She can protect your ass from other dancers. You might have to give the club manager a blow job in order to get hired but with you experience on the streets, this should not be a problem.

Once you are an establish stripper, Always appear at the club clean, even if you have just fucked two guys and given a wino a blow job. The customers appreciate it. Learn how to spot the best customers. The ones that are going to spend the most. Old, fat, balding men are always a good choice. When you are approaching 40 years old, you should start thinking about a 2nd career. Wendys or McDonalds are popular choices. If you want to get some experience in giving BJ's or fucking, email me but only after you have your fake ID. A picture would be appreciated...<

chandler: you have a good memory.I didn't even remember writing that. I accept the nomination for funniest post.

Ok, I'll throw this one out there. crizgolfer was the first response to Wondergrls first post to the board:

Tips for a "virgin" dancer in NJ 12/20/07 08:19
Posted by: crizgolfer
Oh man...dude...make sure you shave well before going into the club if you hope to pull this off...

Shadowcat, did you really write that? I don't ever remember seeing it. You were being sarcastic I hope.

Funniest post 6/2007

Posted by: shadowcat [ ignore ]
In my last post about "more erotice adventures of shadowcat", I made a big point about this stripper. I am going to make another trip to my favorite club in a week and I am afraid of running into her again. Not so much in the club but at my hotel. She is just too slezzy for me. A real dirt bag. I don't want to screw her or get a BJ from her again. The thought repulses me. I think that once a person has sunk so low as to be living at a hotel with weekly or montly rates, they are gone. I am resonably sure that she will still be there and that if she sees me or my truck, she will pester the hell out of me for money.

So how do I avoid her? Change hotels? Yes, I could but I like this place. It is within walking distance to the club, each room has a frig, micro wave oven and a two burner stove. I am on a first name basis with the manager and he has comped me the room. It's only $55 night and many times I can get a discount for being a repeat customer. I have been staying here for 6 years and don't want to give it up over some bitch. I also don't want to create a scene by telling her to fuck off. I don't know what a crack whore is capable of. Physical violence or damage to my truck?

Do I just pay her $100 for a blow job and hope that she is satisfied and goes away? OR do I treat her like some strippers treat us? Promise everything but deliver nothing? Will she get tired of that and leave me alone?

I just want to get back to my favorite club with my favorite dancers. I know that I got myself into this. Little head doing the thinking. I want to find out why, J---- offered to help me change a flat tire, what the manager did to make M---- tearied, if V----- wants to get serious again?

I got a week. Advice appreciated.

FONDL: Yes and Yes.

Pushin50: You dug up another of my gems. I haven't seen her since.

Large amounts of vodka helps me to write this shit and to forget them.

There were probably many bad topics during the year, but one that comes to mind was submitted by hornytoad085 on the last day of 2007 --

"What are other people's experiences with going "self-service" during an LD? (private room, of course)"


You have got to be kidding.

Yeah, probably the only thing more pathetic than going "self service" in a strip club is asking for other guys' stories about their "self service". Even us PLs have too much self respect for that.

lol

I have only seen self service once and that was a couple of weeks ago at my favorite club. There was a young guy (20's)jerking off while watching the dancers on the main stage. He just sipped his beer and played with himself for about an hour. He did not talk to any of the dancers that came by and did not tip any of them on stage. I pointed him out to two of my favorites. They just shook their heads in disgust. Why not just stay home and jack off to porn on the internet?

Porn is boring and you can get it for free. Strippers must be worth something more, they cost money!